What's the key to maling a relationship last?

[Brochacholomigo]

I'm a young guy, but I might need the answer to this question any day. Who knows when "the one" will show up?

And so, I have come to you, the wise men and women of DP! How have your relationships lasted over the decades?

 

[Medusa]

I'm a young guy, but I might need the answer to this question any day. Who knows when "the one" will show up?

And so, I have come to you, the wise men and women of DP! How have your relationships lasted over the decades?

it is said that long lasting relationships and marriages are achieved by mutual trust ,patience and dedication

 

[Redress]

I'm a young guy, but I might need the answer to this question any day. Who knows when "the one" will show up?

And so, I have come to you, the wise men and women of DP! How have your relationships lasted over the decades?

Your thread title: "What's the key to maling a relationship last?" I laughed...

 

[Gaugingcatenate]

Your thread title: "What's the key to maling a relationship last?" I laughed...

Ha ha ha, me too, thought he either should have made that 'l' a 'k'... or just add an 'u' before the 'l' to make it mauling... of course then you would maul someone to the point of death, if you wanted it to last forever, ah ha ha ha ha

 

[Gaugingcatenate]

I'm a young guy, but I might need the answer to this question any day. Who knows when "the one" will show up?

And so, I have come to you, the wise men and women of DP! How have your relationships lasted over the decades?

On a serious note, its a hard call. There will not be a perfect one out there...or if seemingly so, it will not be perfect over the long term as things and people tend to change. At the same time one should not just get tired of waiting and "settle". Find someone you have a lot in common with, mainly values and hobbies, but someone that also has interests besides the same as yours so that you can develop together as well as separately, so its not always the same ol same ol all the time into the future.

My suggestion: Don't have kids until you know, are for certain that its the right one... no use burdening children with the faults, the self inflicted errors of judgment of the adults in the equation.

After years and years of participating in and watching friends in marriage/relationships, I know of only one couple who truly seem to enjoy still being with each other [most of the time]... and its the third wife for him, second husband for her.

Good luck, but better to be circumspect and make a truly good decision on this one.

 

[TheGoverness]

I'm a young guy, but I might need the answer to this question any day. Who knows when "the one" will show up?

And so, I have come to you, the wise men and women of DP! How have your relationships lasted over the decades?

I've been with my GF since the 7th Grade, so that'd add up to at least 6 years now, and I'd say the reason we've been together for so long is because of our commitment and dedication to each other, a foundation of respect between us, and sharing common interests together. We are also very open and honest with each other, and we're not complete dicks to each other. We also are good at understanding and listening to one another and our problems.

 

[Dragonfly]

#1) Don't confuse lust with love
#2) learn to admit you're wrong, even if deep inside you know you're not
#3) learn how to compromise
#4) learn how to listen
#5) learn how to keep your mouth shut
#6) learn how to cope with change
#7) don't seek out somebody "exactly like you"
#8) be open and honest about things that are deal breakers if it looks like she/he could be "the one"
#9) don't be a douche
#10) image one day you have a daughter - be the guy you'd want your daughter to be married to

disclaimer:
None of the above means that I'm suggesting you be a limp wrist, panty-waste, push-over who allows your partner to just walk all over you.
It's just about maturity and intelligence. You can still be very much "a man".
If you're the kind of guy who always has to be right, who has to always "win" every argument, who always has to get "your way", who can never admit to being "wrong", and who doesn't know how to compromise....you'll be much better off staying single.
Divorce is very expensive.

 

[joG]

I'm a young guy, but I might need the answer to this question any day. Who knows when "the one" will show up?

And so, I have come to you, the wise men and women of DP! How have your relationships lasted over the decades?

When I am in town, we have dinner most evenings and usually we take our vacations together. This latter is more difficult now that we have two dogs and a cat instead of two cats and two horses. Otherwise we live our own lives from the same house, which has separate wardrobes and bath rooms.

 

[DashingAmerican]

I think the key to it is realizing that love is not that feeling you get when you first meet someone, that light headed butterfly feeling. Love is way more than that. Love is wanting to be with someone when you're pissed off at them. It's loving them even when they're being unlovable. I'm not saying that the feeling you get isn't a part of love, but people get that feeling for a lot of others in their lifetime, it's just an infatuation.

 

[ocean515]

I'm a young guy, but I might need the answer to this question any day. Who knows when "the one" will show up?

And so, I have come to you, the wise men and women of DP! How have your relationships lasted over the decades?

First, nobody truly knows when "the one" will show up. Most likely it will occur when you least expect it, and you're not actually "looking".

From the perspective of someone who has been married for almost 40 years - Humility, and Gratitude are the foundation.

Humility to allow yourself to be accepting, even when they are wrong, and Gratitude that above all others, someone is willing to spend the rest of their life living and tolerating little old you.

 

[MaggieD]

I'm a young guy, but I might need the answer to this question any day. Who knows when "the one" will show up?

And so, I have come to you, the wise men and women of DP! How have your relationships lasted over the decades?

Negotiation in almost all things. Knowing when to fight the battle and when to let it go. Building up your mate's self esteem and valuing your own. Being your partner's biggest fan. Make up your mind you will never cheat. Find someone with that same mindset. Opportunities will surely present themselves? Whether you act on them defines you. These traits, and too many more to list, will go a long way toward happiness in one's relationship.

BUT if one chooses poorly, those platitudes may all be in vain. When you marry, you're choosing a life partner. Broken people make lousy life partners. Dont think you're going to change or fix someone. The stakes are too high. Don't marry "in lust." Lust fades and the blinders one wears while lusting eventually disappear.

There's no shortcut to happiness in a relationship. It takes hard work. Having a meaningful marriage isn't a destination. It's a journey.

 

[Lovebug]

Simple. Be yourself, don't compromise. The one who matches you will find you.

 

[Brochacholomigo]

Your thread title: "What's the key to maling a relationship last?" I laughed...

...Oops.

 

[Winchester]

Find the right person that shares the same goals in life, but first figure yourself out, the rest will work out. And oh, don't get caught up in looks, you do need some physical attraction, but it fades with time and becomes less important. Find someone with a beautiful mind... an inherently good and bright person as that is who you are planning to be with for a long time.

 

[beefheart]

I'm a young guy, but I might need the answer to this question any day. Who knows when "the one" will show up?

And so, I have come to you, the wise men and women of DP! How have your relationships lasted over the decades?

Honesty and the quelling the desire to "Change" your partner. They are what they are, accept that, or get out.

 

[Moot]

Don't focus or pick on each others faults. That's poison for relationships.

 

[RetiredUSN]

I have been married 40 years this coming October, and I have learned one absolute certainty.

I can be right and go hungry, or fold up like a cheap lawn chair and eat like a king.

 

[humbolt]

Take a cue from Sometimes a Great Notion: "Never give a inch." Yes, a inch. Wait. Wrong platitude. That won't work. Never mind. I'll have to go back to the book of worthless platitudes and find another. That could take a while. However, if you can find someone who'll embrace your faults such as they are, and find that they add to your worth in some way, you may be on to something. That's a rather large give and take situation in which some grace is required in order for it to work.

 

[Skeptic Bob]

Learn to avoid the petty arguments. When you do have petty arguments think back to the trigger that caused it and learn to avoid these triggers.

 

[Manc Skipper]

Sincerity. Once you can fake that, the world's your lobster!

 

[Winchester]

Learn to avoid the petty arguments. When you do have petty arguments think back to the trigger that caused it and learn to avoid these triggers.

IDK petty arguments are part and parcel to any relationship. It's the hurtful things one must avoid as they're nigh on impossible to take back.

 

[Winchester]

Sincerity. Once you can fake that, the world's your lobster!

I prefer oyster. :2razz:

 

[chuckiechan]

"Keep the fighting clean, and the sex dirty"

And understand that things that aren't important to you are important to her, yet she may not always express it to you clearly.

Everything does not become "ours". IOW if you have one check book, don't make the spending decisions and have her working for "free".

 

[Mason66]

it is said that long lasting relationships and marriages are achieved by mutual trust ,patience and dedication

You forgot distance.

 

[spud_meister]

A solid cellar door, high quality handcuffs, distant neighbours and an apathetic police force.