What the hell is the President going to India for?

[Ikari]

Does anyone know what exactly he's going to be doing there?

His Windows Vista rig broke and he's going for tech support.

Or take out.

 

[pragmatic]

Then we'll label the shark a terrorist and hold it indefinitely without trial. Then we'll take a long, hard look at all charities with even tangential associations with either sharks or coconuts. We'll probably bug a few thousand coconut trees, because we don't have enough Federal agents with the right cultural background to infiltrate Hawaii. We'll also create a secret program to intercept all communications leaving the country for Hawaii.

The Republicans will insist that we eject Hawaii from the union on national security grounds (it was never really a physical part of our great country anyway, and it only has 3 electoral votes to boot), and the Democrats will blame Bush for not catching the clear intersection of shark and coconut terrorist interests

Ultimately we'll go to war with the Pacific ocean, where we'll be assaulted on all sides by insurgent jellyfish and whales. We'll accuse Iran of funding the Improvised Weather Patterns which will sink many of our ships. After we lose about 3000 sailors to storms and the Bermuda Triangle of Terror, we'll announce victory and go home.

That does sound a little excessive. (I was thinking along the line of just a spear gun or somethin'...)



.

 

[OscarB63]

His Windows Vista rig broke and he's going for tech support.

Or take out.

greetings, my name is Mrigankamouli but you can call me Gerald. welcome to microsoft, how may I help you?

 

[jamesrage]

Does anyone know what exactly he's going to be doing there?

Maybe to send more American jobs there. Just joking,hopefully it is just a joke.

 

[Ockham]

Maybe to send more American jobs there. Just joking,hopefully it is just a joke.

I just called HP tech support today for a printer. What a waste of 25 minutes that was... I spoke to "Benjamin" with the heavy Gujarati accent, who's advice was to "buy a new printer" as mine was over 1 year old. After 5 minutes of futzing with it, the printer now seems to work and is stable...

 

[OscarB63]

I just called HP tech support today for a printer. What a waste of 25 minutes that was... I spoke to "Benjamin" with the heavy Gujarati accent, who's advice was to "buy a new printer" as mine was over 1 year old. After 5 minutes of futzing with it, the printer now seems to work and is stable...

what I hate is calling them and getting one of the "tards" that read from a script. no matter what your problem, they have a set script of crap they want you to go through. after 45 minutes if their script is useless (which it usually is) you get bumped up to "advanced technical support" where you speak to someone who doesn't speak english with a thick accent and your problem is solved within 5 minutes.

 

[Slartibartfast]

any of you guys have a clue how expensive it is to operate 34 warships? I think one of the reasons the number appears inflated is because "they" (whoever they are) are including all the costs associated with this trip. some of these costs (ie the cost of operating 34 warships) will be incurred whether Obama travels to India or not. Is it honest/fair to include all these costs in figuring the total per day expense of this trip? probably not. Is it unrealistic to state the trip will cost between 100-200 million per day. not if you include ALL costs associated. :shrug:

If there is a legimate reason for this trip then people should STFU about what it costs. If there is not..then complain away.

You do realize we have a couple of wars happening in that area, right?

 

[Slartibartfast]

what I hate is calling them and getting one of the "tards" that read from a script. no matter what your problem, they have a set script of crap they want you to go through. after 45 minutes if their script is useless (which it usually is) you get bumped up to "advanced technical support" where you speak to someone who doesn't speak english with a thick accent and your problem is solved within 5 minutes.

If you confuse them with technical jargon, they bump you up right away.

 

[MKULTRABOY]

If you confuse them with technical jargon, they bump you up right away.

I'm good at working the apple support system. Tell them my family has bought multitudes of macs in the last 12 years, they open right up. I lost my copy of macos 10.6 they gave me a new one free when I showed them through the receipt. And that was through the extended support line you generally have to pay more for service from.

 

[Slartibartfast]

I'm good at working the apple support system. Tell them my family has bought multitudes of macs in the last 12 years, they open right up. I lost my copy of macos 10.6 they gave me a new one free when I showed them through the receipt. And that was through the extended support line you generally have to pay more for service from.

Thats pretty cool. I am a bit weird when it comes to Apple PCs. I don't know where all the tools for things are in OSX, so I just drop to the shell and fix stuff like I would if it were Linux. So far I haven't been unable to fix them.

 

[MKULTRABOY]

Yeh the disk utility has a permissions cleaning feature that solves 90% of problems.

 

[Mach]

Just speaking from experience, if you don't personally meet the movers and shakers, and yes, India and China are movers and shakers right now, your position will not likely be as good as it could be if you met them. We're still human. Pressing the flesh has significance, even if rationally we know it's kind of silly to expect, and to engage in. Goes for all leaders.

And 34 warships, that just makes this a marketing tactic on top of the visit. When someone visits you and brings 34 warships, it's a visceral statement of power...it's a huge carrot/stick.

Now, is all that cost effective given opportunity cost? I have no idea. What price do you put on key foreign relations?

 

[Ocean City]

Again, what is SO IMPORTANT that he has to be there in person? He's putting HIS life at risk along with all of his crew. Why?

Whining much? Is this really what political debates have come down to? Criticizing a president because he goes to one of the fasted growing economies in the world to negotiate trade deals to better improve our economy? And criticize his security when you probably have no presidential security experience? Do you really think Obama plans and organizes his security force? lol. If you have such a big problem with the warships you should take up to the CIA. Better yet, mind your own business and find a political topic worth starting a thread about.

 

[The Giant Noodle]

They have some of the BEST food in the WORLD!!!! Check it out: Indian Food and Cuisine Guide [Food-India.com]

 

[TacticalEvilDan]

what I hate is calling them and getting one of the "tards" that read from a script. no matter what your problem, they have a set script of crap they want you to go through. after 45 minutes if their script is useless (which it usually is) you get bumped up to "advanced technical support" where you speak to someone who doesn't speak english with a thick accent and your problem is solved within 5 minutes.

No doubt this is the "tard's" favorite job in the world to do.

I'm sure that the core issue has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that you bought a product from someone too cheap to do tech support domestically.

There's just no way possible that these jobs pay so well that the Indians doing them are willing to put up with a load of horse**** from frustrated, impatient American callers.

Nope.

 

[Khayembii Communique]

what I hate is calling them and getting one of the "tards" that read from a script. no matter what your problem, they have a set script of crap they want you to go through. after 45 minutes if their script is useless (which it usually is) you get bumped up to "advanced technical support" where you speak to someone who doesn't speak english with a thick accent and your problem is solved within 5 minutes.

This is common because, surprisingly, it solves about 95% of problems. Most of the time people are too unbelievably stupid to try all of the simple stuff they ask you to do. Stupid stuff like, for example, keeping the caps lock on. I used to work in tech support, you have no idea how ****ing stupid people are.

So next time you get on the line with them give them a break and just go through it without complaining.

As for the OP, obviously everyone is familiar with Beck's latest idiotic rant, to which the OP is apparently sympathetic.

 

[Manc Skipper]

Back in the good ol' days.....

"Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

CS: "What sort of trouble?"

C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

CS: "Went away?"

C: "They disappeared."

CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

C: "Nothing."

CS: "Nothing?"

C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

C: "How do I tell?"

CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

C: "What's a sea-prompt?"

CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

C: "What's a monitor?"

CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

C: "I don't know."

CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

C: "Yes, I think so."

CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

C: ".......Yes, it is."

CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

C: "No."

CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

C: ".......Okay, here it is."

CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

C: "No."

CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

CS: "Dark?"

C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."

C: "I can't."

CS: "No? Why not?"

C: "Because there's a power outage."

CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

C: "Really? Is it that bad?"

CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer." "

 

[Hicup]

Isn't that a really high-risk place to go?

Anyone that would want to hurt the USA knows full well that hurting Obama, or killing him wouldn't be the best way to go..

He can a lot more damage if left alone.


Tim-

 

[Thorgasm]

Back in the good ol' days.....

"Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

CS: "What sort of trouble?"

C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

CS: "Went away?"

C: "They disappeared."

CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

C: "Nothing."

CS: "Nothing?"

C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

C: "How do I tell?"

CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

C: "What's a sea-prompt?"

CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

C: "What's a monitor?"

CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

C: "I don't know."

CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

C: "Yes, I think so."

CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

C: ".......Yes, it is."

CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

C: "No."

CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

C: ".......Okay, here it is."

CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

C: "No."

CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

CS: "Dark?"

C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."

C: "I can't."

CS: "No? Why not?"

C: "Because there's a power outage."

CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

C: "Really? Is it that bad?"

CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer." "

I've heard this one before. It's a classic. :rofl