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What should be made of all this?

Glowpun

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I have a female friend with dementia who is under court conservatorship. Sometime ago I met with the conservator thinking they wanted to know who I am since I am a close friend to their client and I visit her regularly. The meeting essentially was to let me know that I would be reimbursed for whatever expenses I encurred on her behalf. They did not seem interested on anything else.

Up to this point I've kept communication with the conservator office to a minimum since they seem to know what is going on plus my inherent distrust. Whenever they reply they always thank me for being a friend to her etc.

She recently was kicked out of the facility where she was living due to her assaultive behavior and placed in a psychiatric unit. I was able to see her a couple times. But when I tried to visit her yesterday, I was told I could not visit her. No reason given and when I asked who put the ban, the unit said it was the party responsible for her which I took to be the conservator. Another one of her friends was able to visit her but she works at the same hospital and had her work badge on her. Another friend tried to visit her but was told she could not have visitors. But when she called at a later date, she was now told that the visit depended on the patient who probably can no longer remember this friend's name.

During the times I saw her the nurses there asked me for her social and health history information which already should have been in the chart. What should one make of this visit ban?
 
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ecofarm

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Up to this point I've kept communication with the conservator office to a minimum since they seem to know what is going on plus my inherent distrust.
What's going on? Were you banging a full-on crazy chick?
 

Glowpun

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What's going on? Were you banging a full-on crazy chick?
No. If I saw something going on that I thought they should know about which I was not sure they knew, I would email them. And they would always reply with something like thank you for being a good friend to....but we know....

But this sudden freeze on my not being able to visit is disturbing. A few weeks earlier she was at the hospital but when friends called the hospital denied her being there.
Do you suppose there could be a connection between the two events? Too bad I am not family but even worse for her because she has none.
 

herenow1

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Sorry to hear that. This place sounds shady. I'd ask to speak to mgmt about this!
 

Superfly

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Did you not post about this with a different patient, a man, a few months ago? I am taxing my memory here, but I thought you posted something very similar - you were friends with an elderly gentleman who was put in assisted living, and you were no longer allowed to visit with him, and what should you do?
 

Gipper

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Just a female friend? Throw her in the nut house and walk away. Not like she's family.
 

ecofarm

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Do you suppose there could be a connection between the two events? Too bad I am not family but even worse for her because she has none.
Sometimes crazy people decide that someone is an enemy, OCD about it and go off on their own fantasy and there's nothing anyone can do. I doubt the caretakers are evil.
 

Lutherf

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I have a female friend with dementia who is under court conservatorship. Sometime ago I met with the conservator thinking they wanted to know who I am since I am a close friend to their client and I visit her regularly. The meeting essentially was to let me know that I would be reimbursed for whatever expenses I encurred on her behalf. They did not seem interested on anything else.

Up to this point I've kept communication with the conservator office to a minimum since they seem to know what is going on plus my inherent distrust. Whenever they reply they always thank me for being a friend to her etc.

She recently was kicked out of the facility where she was living due to her assaultive behavior and placed in a psychiatric unit. I was able to see her a couple times. But when I tried to visit her yesterday, I was told I could not visit her. No reason given and when I asked who put the ban, the unit said it was the party responsible for her which I took to be the conservator. Another one of her friends was able to visit her but she works at the same hospital and had her work badge on her. Another friend tried to visit her but was told she could not have visitors. But when she called at a later date, she was now told that the visit depended on the patient who probably can no longer remember this friend's name.

During the times I saw her the nurses there asked me for her social and health history information which already should have been in the chart. What should one make of this visit ban?
Is this a State agency service as conservator?
 

Lutherf

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No. If I saw something going on that I thought they should know about which I was not sure they knew, I would email them. And they would always reply with something like thank you for being a good friend to....but we know....

But this sudden freeze on my not being able to visit is disturbing. A few weeks earlier she was at the hospital but when friends called the hospital denied her being there.
Do you suppose there could be a connection between the two events? Too bad I am not family but even worse for her because she has none.
You're damned right it's disturbing!!

There are a whole lot of dementia patients out there that simply can't communicate what's going on. They can't even tell you that they have soiled themselves because stuff like that just doesn't even register with them. Those people NEED someone there to look out for them...someone that actually has their health and well being in mind.

You mentioned that she was combative. One of the things that happens is that these folks get UTI's regularly and the infection can manifest itself as hostile behavior. Unfortunately, without someone there to really look out for them, the aggression is often chalked up to a stroke or a behavior change due to the dementia with the result being that the patient is just left to die in pain (maybe they'll be given morphine) instead of being given simple antibiotics so that they can continue their lives.

I have seen WAY too many State "services" simply serve as "end of life care" instead of health and wellness care.
 

Superfly

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I was right. Only about a month and a half ago, you posted these comments in this thread:

http://www.debatepolitics.com/off-topic-discussion/167018-confidential-unit.html:

Hello,

Would anyone know what the confidential unit is in a hospital? And what kind of patient goes in there? I asked a friend who works in a hospital and he said if he told me anything he would be fired!

I have a friend who has dementia. When I stopped by to visit him, I was told that he was sent to a hospital. They could not tell me but I did the research.
I called the hospital and was told that he was in their confidential unit. I asked was he terminal? No. That was the only good news.

thanks,
Nope. He has dementia and is in a regular (acute) hospital now. The hospital used the word "confidential." When I saw him the other day he seemed alright. He ate most of his dinner. But when I went to visit him today, I was told he was sent to a hospital early in the morning although they could not tell me which one. He refused to get out of bed and would not eat. His joints were stiff, probably due to Zyprexa, and a changed of meds ordered by another doctor.
Now I hate to be the cynic here, but what is it that makes you latch on to elderly people with dementia? Maybe the hospital personnel have a reason for not giving you any information. :shrug:
 
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