mixedmedia said:
Why are you so defensive at the very mention of a woman being able to raise a child on her own? Hmmmm, talloulou.
I think it's cause I work with many kids from broken homes and I witness their struggles in comparison with kids who have intact families. Furthermore I have never stated a women couldn't raise kids on her own....but I do believe it's not ideal.
In my mind ideal would be appreciating the sexual freedom women now have but also not allowing it to make our society reckless when it comes to parenting.
For example I appreciate birth control and am very happy to not have a litter of children. :rofl But on the flipside I think the elaborate courtship men and women sort of went through decades ago leading up to marriage enforced the significance of "family life" and parenting responsibility.
I think perhaps currently the birth control, abortion, and the social acceptance of divorce have lead us somewhat astray.
While I think the general acceptance of abortion is bad for society I would never want to see women "stuck" in bad marriages or forced to have litters of kids. But I can't help but wonder if the sexual freedom has gone too far. I don't think sex should be reserved for the purpose of creating children but that sometimes happens despite precautions. Therefore I think women still need to choose their sexual partners with care. I think in that area women have become very lax. Meanwhile men faced with independent, financially secure women, abortion, ect are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to their role as a father. When a couple divorces it appears to be very easy for women with custody to push fathers out of their childrens life. When a couple has never been married men must fight even harder to remain substantial in their childrens life.
I have read many studies that suggest that girls who grow up without a loving father are more likely to pick crap men as sexual partners and they are more likely to use sex in a search for the male appreciation and love they lacked from the absence of a father. And for boys the absence of a father is equally devastating.
And with as many single parent homes as we have now in this country, with such a wide variety of incomes, lifestyles and other variables, I don't think "general" statements are very descriptive or reliable.
I don't think my statements were general. Do you have any statistics that show children raised in "broken homes" with one parent vs two do better? Have you ever seen a study that suggested divorce in general is good for children? How about studies that show children do best when they are raised by the mother and never even knew their father?
Clearly some relationships are so bad that the children are better off once the couple parts ways but again that is why I think more value needs to be placed on picking your men wisely. I honestly believe all the sexual freedom has led us to a place where men are no longer scrutinized and screened as they would have been decades ago before a woman had sex with them.