- Joined
- Jun 20, 2008
- Messages
- 106,843
- Reaction score
- 98,883
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Independent
"Hi Cardinal, this is your iPhone!"
"Uh, hi."
"Want to install the new ios now?"
"What ios?"
"The ios we downloaded to your phone while you were sleeping."
"I didn't ask for a new ios."
"Neener neener."
"'Neener neener?' You mean I don't get a choice?"
"Well, we provide numerous options in your settings, but none of them work. Think of them as the crosswalk button: it doesn't actually do anything, but marketing has found that when people are allowed to push a button or change a setting, it makes them feel happier and more empowered."
"I didn't feel happier or empowered when I learned that changing the settings didn't prevent the automatic download."
"Did you try turning off the notifications?"
"Oh yeah, I didn't think of that. Thanks!"
"Did it work?"
"Uh, no, you just reminded me to download the ios again."
"But for just a few precious seconds you felt happier and more empowered when you learned about turning off the notification setting, didn't you? Our marketing department says that what you momentarily felt was what humans call 'hope.'"
"Ugh...look, just don't install the new ios, okay?"
"When do you want to install it?"
"Never. I never want to install it."
"No, you don't understand. When do you want to install it? Your options are "now" or "later."
"What? Neither."
"Now or later?"
"I...I just don't want a new ios. My phone works fine as it is. I'd really rather not have to buy a new $700 phone next year just because your new ios's force older phones to operate slower than a sloth with gout."
"Now or later? Now or later? Now or later? Now or later? Now or later?"
"Alright alright, Jesus Christ! Later!"
"Thank you! We will repeat this reminder every day until you die. Remember, Apple loves you and values your business!"
"Uh, hi."
"Want to install the new ios now?"
"What ios?"
"The ios we downloaded to your phone while you were sleeping."
"I didn't ask for a new ios."
"Neener neener."
"'Neener neener?' You mean I don't get a choice?"
"Well, we provide numerous options in your settings, but none of them work. Think of them as the crosswalk button: it doesn't actually do anything, but marketing has found that when people are allowed to push a button or change a setting, it makes them feel happier and more empowered."
"I didn't feel happier or empowered when I learned that changing the settings didn't prevent the automatic download."
"Did you try turning off the notifications?"
"Oh yeah, I didn't think of that. Thanks!"
"Did it work?"
"Uh, no, you just reminded me to download the ios again."
"But for just a few precious seconds you felt happier and more empowered when you learned about turning off the notification setting, didn't you? Our marketing department says that what you momentarily felt was what humans call 'hope.'"
"Ugh...look, just don't install the new ios, okay?"
"When do you want to install it?"
"Never. I never want to install it."
"No, you don't understand. When do you want to install it? Your options are "now" or "later."
"What? Neither."
"Now or later?"
"I...I just don't want a new ios. My phone works fine as it is. I'd really rather not have to buy a new $700 phone next year just because your new ios's force older phones to operate slower than a sloth with gout."
"Now or later? Now or later? Now or later? Now or later? Now or later?"
"Alright alright, Jesus Christ! Later!"
"Thank you! We will repeat this reminder every day until you die. Remember, Apple loves you and values your business!"
