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What do you think the other sex should "act like"

Aunt Spiker

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Spawning from another thread . . . Do you think women should act a certain way? What about men?

As in:
The way they behave, talk, dress, conduct their selves in a stressful situation . . . and so on.
 

Mell

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Id say, it is important to act in a way that is interpreted by others, in the way that you mean it. Thus the reason for knowing a bit about gender psychology. Not only is it possible to innocently offend the opposite sex, with a comment or action which would not offend a member of our own sex, but it is also possible to misinterpret the intensions of the opposite sex. If we want to achieve our full potential in life, communication skills are vital.

As regards honesty: Honesty is a virtue, but so is diplomacy, and the former does not count, if it the latter is not there.
 

rivrrat

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On their knees, licking the toes of my spiked, leather, knee high boots, under the threat of more lashings if they do not. :mrgreen:


Seriously though, I don't expect men to act any certain way. Which is probably why I'm rarely disappointed. ;)
 

Goshin

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Spawning from another thread . . . Do you think women should act a certain way? What about men?

As in:
The way they behave, talk, dress, conduct their selves in a stressful situation . . . and so on.

It kind of depends on what you mean, I suppose.

Pre-WW2 and some time afterward, there were established societal norms of what constituted "manly" behavior and "feminine" behavior. Some of these expectations were based on inherent differences between male and female biology and psychology; this is, imo, ok. Others were based on stereotypes established by society and instituted as custom; these limited both men and women in ways that were artificial and unnecessary, and I am glad those customs have largely vanished.

I am a man who loves children and enjoys nurturing them. I have always been like that, from the age of 9 when my first niece was born. I like babies, crying and diapers don't phase me a bit, and I enjoy caring for small children.

There was a time when this would have labeled me as "not manly", and furthermore I might have suffered some degree of social ostracism for it if it became generally known. Though there are still some shreds of that mindset still around, I'm thankful that most people don't think that way anymore. People might make comments, and then I'd have to kick wholesale ass to prove 'em full of bull. :mrgreen:

Nothing wrong with a woman being feminine, especially in appropriate venues. However, I've never been much attracted to the "delicate flower" who is too refined to sit by a campfire; I like women who like to do things, even if there is a risk of chipping their nail polish. :lamo

On the whole, I believe in respecting and understanding the real differences between the genders, but not imposing artificial restraints on intrests, hobbies, feelings or etc. Generally speaking I'm glad to live in an era when most men and women are relatively free to be who they really are, rather than what society expects them to be.

Edited to add: OTOH, I have known women whose behavior and manner I could only define as "man-ish", and I did not find that attractive at all. Explaining the difference between a woman who is active and "does things" and has confidence and courage, but "acts like a woman", and a women who act "mannish" is something I'm not sure I can define... but I knows it when I sees it.
 
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lizzie

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I don't think they "should", I observe that they generally "do".
 

Kali

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Just be yourself. That way if you are a nasty sexist pig? I know from the get go. No need to act like something you are not to get someone.
 

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I disapprove of socially-mandated "gender roles".
I don't think anyone need feel compelled to act any particular way on the sole basis of which type of genitalia they happen to be sporting.
Everyone should act like themselves.
 

Mell

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Naked, frying me a steak, and not speaking unless it's "yes sir".
FFS! I know this is likely intended as joke, but casual sexist comments are sickening anyway. There is a point when one has heard them so often, that they just become really really annoying.
 
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Mell

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Everyone should act like themselves.
It is difficult for women to act as themselves though, when what they would want to do and how they want to behave is so often misunderstood, and thus not respected in workplaces etc.
 

Mell

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Just be yourself. That way if you are a nasty sexist pig? I know from the get go. No need to act like something you are not to get someone.
I would certainly prefer if nasty sexist pigs keep their opinions to themselves. Nobody should have to listen to that kind of nonsense.
 

tacomancer

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Spawning from another thread . . . Do you think women should act a certain way? What about men?

As in:
The way they behave, talk, dress, conduct their selves in a stressful situation . . . and so on.
I don't really have separate expectations for either sex. My one expectation is that (grown) people act like an adult, meaning that they behave with good manners, have emotional stability, are sincere and honest, are giving (life isn't about them), and are responsible.

Unfortunately, this seems to be a very high expectation when it shouldn't be.
 
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Mell

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Apparently, women are less happy these days, than men are, accourding to test results. As regards women and behaviour, I think we need to find that balance that would give us feelings of happiness, while at the same time retaining all that we have gained over the last 100 years.

I see this confusion and discontent of women, as the biggest gender crisis of the current times. It is putting a lot of stress into society and relationships. People cant continue to feel this level of stress and maintain healthy relationships with each other in all areas of society.
 

Orion

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If you take a step back and look at secondary sex characteristics, human sexes are not that distinct as compared to other animals, yet we keep operating under this notion that we are so different and so far removed from one another.

IMO, without social gender roles in society, men and women act very similar. I'm not saying there are no differences, I'm saying they're minor. Men and women don't understand each other because they choose not to by assuming the differences are too great to overcome.
 

Mell

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If you take a step back and look at secondary sex characteristics, human sexes are not that distinct as compared to other animals, yet we keep operating under this notion that we are so different and so far removed from one another.

IMO, without social gender roles in society, men and women act very similar. I'm not saying there are no differences, I'm saying they're minor. Men and women don't understand each other because they choose not to by assuming the differences are too great to overcome.
Id say they genuinely dont understand each other. Different and opposite brain chemistry influences how they think, feel and behave. This can cause the magical feeling of opposites attracing and boosting each others feel good factor, or else it can cause terrible polarisation and conflict.
 

Orion

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Id say they genuinely dont understand each other. Different and opposite brain chemistry influences how they think, feel and behave. This can cause the magical feeling of opposites attracing and boosting each others feel good factor, or else it can cause terrible polarisation and conflict.
There are some physiological differences between men and women, but again I don't think they are so great that they should be unable to understand one another. I think we are brought up socially to believe men and women are so different. When children are born, boys are given blue and GI joes, girls are given pink and barbie dolls. We set the standard of divided genders from the start.

I understand women well. I have a lot of friends, both men and women, but my two best friends are women. If you believe that there are huge differences between the two, then that's all you'll see and it will make it difficult to bridge the gap.
 

Mell

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Brain chemistry studies and test reports have shown significant gender diffenences, which influence behaviour of the genders. But, having said that, everybody has both a feminine and a masculine side, so each gender can exhibit traits of the other, which is useful if it is not taken to extemes. Of course, social conditioning and also the unfortunate gender political history also has an influence on how people think and behave.
 

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Sex is a biological imperative; gender is a social construct. Only that.
 

Kandahar

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Spawning from another thread . . . Do you think women should act a certain way? What about men?

As in:
The way they behave, talk, dress, conduct their selves in a stressful situation . . . and so on.
Depends. I don't think men or women necessarily SHOULD act a certain way or conform to gender roles...but I definitely find women more attractive if they behave in a more traditionally "feminine" way. I like chicks who let me take the initiative, for example. If women want to break down gender stereotypes, that's totally cool with me...but I probably won't personally be as attracted to them.

(I guess the one exception to that is left-brainedness, which is typically more associated with masculinity. I'm definitely more attracted to geeky math/science chicks than I am to right-brained artistic types.)
 
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Gipper

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Well, the man dominating the woman in a physical pseudo-sport essentially dismisses the "social construct" argument. I see it as "physiologically-based comparative advantage". You wash dishes and do laundry better than I can, I'm sure. Meanwhile, I kill the beast and exert my testosterone-laden dominance while you cook it and tend to the kids.
 

1069

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Wouldn't be surprised if I could too, given the fact that I've been rowing for over an hour a day for the past two months. My arms are corded with muscle; my hands are covered with callouses.
First time in my life I've ever experienced being strong enough to accomplish, solo, any physical task that I am likely to encounter in the course of my daily life.
There is no jar I can't open, no box or bag of trash that I can't lift.
That has never been the case before, in my life.
 
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