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What am I suppose to do about my sister and her kid!

The fact that she has two children is probable indication that the one has issues that need to be addressed. It's not that he's bad or out-of-control, it's that there is something in his hardwires that is not right.
 
justabubba said:
she has a 3 year old who does not demonstrate the same problems as the 5 year old
i am guessing they parent both the same way, but get opposite results

and to avoid being in a situation you clearly do not enjoy, how is that depriving your kids? maybe they don't spend as much time with the well behaved 3 year old cousin because of the 5 year old's (and his Mom's) behavior. but is the tension you experience worth it?


a few things here
the marriage must be paramount in a family. the kids cannot come first ... otherwise the kid(s) come to manipulate and dominate the family by pitting one parent against the other. would not be surprised if the 5 year old has not already figured this out
i also suspect you and your sister have other than a smooth relationship. you are critical about how she raises her child and how she abuses her husband. she wonders why you do not get together more often. would seem that is the perfect opportunity to level with her (privately) about how you feel ... and how tense being around her and her son and the scorn she publicly heaps on her husband in your presence
invite her to confirm with your Mom whether she also sees it as you do (let your Mom know you are going to do this before you make that suggestion)
could very well be your sister is where she wants to be ... and until she is made to know that is not a comfortable place for you, she has no motivation to change. warning: when she finds out your feelings, that may very well be unsufficient reason for her to adopt a different parenting style or relationship with her spouse

you know what you want to say to her. the next time she complains about not getting together as often as she would like, level with her
it may be that she has manipulated her sister and Mom like her son manipulates their family
Click to expand...

Excellent points! I agree, it sounds like your Mom is an enabler to your sister. All the other points are also excellent.
 
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