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What’s a ‘Ruined Orgasm’?


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Dec 3, 2017
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This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz.

Surely this has happened to you: you’re coming to the end of a glorious masturbation session, you’ve got the video cued up to the exact moment and you can feel your orgasm coming on. Right as you feel your pelvic muscles contracting in climax, you drop your phone, tablet or laptop, perhaps even on your foot, and then it’s goodbye orgasm.

Sometimes it’s the unintended consequence or something going wrong, but a ruined orgasm can really put a dampener on your day. However did you know that some people actively seek out a ruined orgasm? Yes, to some, taking it to the limit and then yanking the rug out from under their climax is part of their sexual pleasure and if not theirs, then their partners.

The act of ruining a partner’s orgasm is used commonly in BDSM Dom/Sub relationships in which the Sub is meant to abstain from sexual pleasure at their Dom’s command. The ruined orgasm in this case is meant as a release without pleasure. The Dominant and Submissive interplay at work with ruined orgasms makes it very individual to those who are taking part in it and their reasons for doing it can vary.

For a Dom, ruining their partner’s orgasm reinforces the control they have over their submissive by deciding when they actually get to experience a full orgasm. And for the Sub, many enjoy the intensity of the tease and denial elements that come with their partner’s commands. (more)
I've never experienced a deliberately ruined orgasm during sex play but as this article points out it can be a turn-on for many.
This is where that "coming in the door, going out the door" emoji would be appropriate.

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