vergiss
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2005
- Messages
- 2,356
- Reaction score
- 1
- Gender
- Female
- Political Leaning
- Slightly Liberal
A woman should be able to choose whether or not she bares a child. It's only fair. In my case, I'm a sexually active 17-year-old who's been in a relationship for 11 months. I'm not an idiot - I take the Pill and would rather abstain than have sex without protection. However, recently my period was late and for a few horrible days, I pondered the possibility that I might be pregnant.
Up until that moment, I'd been one of those girls who never thought she'd have an abortion, who'd thought she'd bare and raise the child. Funnily enough, my mind changed almost instantly. I knew that my boyfriend would quickly go AWOL if I decided to have a baby, and I've never wanted to be a single mother. I want my children to have a loving and stable home life, unlike my own childhood. What's more, I wanted to finish my education and get a decent job - I'm not asking to be the CEO of a major corporation, just to be finanically secure and have a guaranteed roof over our heads. Besides, 17! That's barely mature enough to look after yourself, let alone a little baby. I know you're saying "Ooh, you could have just adopted it out!", but it's just not that simple. My boyfriend would have disappeared entirely, and my family would have gone through the roof. They wouldn't be the supportive type - no, in their eyes I'd forever be just a slut. It's very probably they'd have thrown me out of home completely. Similarly, I couldn't handly the public stares, the judgment and shame of being an unwed, pregnant teen. I certainly wouldn't have had the money for maternity clothes, pre-natal care, etc. What's more, I have a psychiatric condition, and pregnancy would mean ceasing all medication. God knows what all the stress and no meds would have done to my health.
As for the emotional agony of giving away the child I'd bonded with for 9 months and laboured to deliver, never to see him or her again? I knew I just could not cope.
I knew that an abortion would not only be better for me, but for the baby. That doesn't mean I was at all happy about it - hospitals freak me out. However, it would have been the lesser evil.
Luckily, I wasn't pregnant. My uterus was presumably just playing with my mind. However, it got me thinking - a woman's right to chose is sacred and should never be interfered with. Accidents happen, you can't just assume she and her partner were too foolish to wear a condom. However, how can you curb the number of abortions without making it illegal to have one? I have a few ideas:
Firstly, create greater support for women who want to continue their unplanned pregnancy and adopt out the child. This can be achieved through a number of ways:
* Make things more matter of fact - pregnancy is pregnancy. It's just a biological mechanism. "Pregnancy = she had sex = scandal!" is a downright idiotic way of thinking. Through massive public education, whatever, massively reduce the stigma that comes from being pregnant and unwed/young, whatever.
* Suport the finanical expenses that come from pregnancy. It's not cheap. Maternity clothes, proper medical care, housing where necessary - pay it all. Surely a few grand in taxpayers' dollars is worth it?
* Let the birth mother have some contact with her offspring once adopted out. I'm not talking about legal responsibilty or the like, but at the very least a regular update and a photo of the child. The birth mother did you a favour. It's the the least you can do to repay her.
Secondly, greater access to contraceptives. Abstinence is a nice idea, but it quite obviously doesn't work. Install free condom vending machines in high schools, greately reduce the expense of the Pill, and emphasise sex education. I once knew a girl who was highly intelligent - skipped 9th grade, was incredibly gifted in English. However, she came up to me one day and said "Kat - it's safe not to use condoms during and just after my period, isn't it?" :doh I nearly had a heart attack.
Last: TEACH MEN TO BE RESPONSIBLE. Just because she's the one who has to deal with the consequences doesn't mean it should all responsibility should rest with the woman. Force it into their skulls that if they try to weasel out of safe sex, they might end up with a screaming baby in their hands. What's more, make the penalties for men who try wimp out and run away from their half of the responsibility much, much harsher. If they try to skip town, let them know that they'll be found and made to account for what was equally his doing. I love my boyfriend - but his cowardice utterly appalled me.
Remember than no woman wants an abortion like she wants a haircut. Find ways to make the alternative options easier and fairer, rather than forcing it upon her and leaving her to suffer alone.
Up until that moment, I'd been one of those girls who never thought she'd have an abortion, who'd thought she'd bare and raise the child. Funnily enough, my mind changed almost instantly. I knew that my boyfriend would quickly go AWOL if I decided to have a baby, and I've never wanted to be a single mother. I want my children to have a loving and stable home life, unlike my own childhood. What's more, I wanted to finish my education and get a decent job - I'm not asking to be the CEO of a major corporation, just to be finanically secure and have a guaranteed roof over our heads. Besides, 17! That's barely mature enough to look after yourself, let alone a little baby. I know you're saying "Ooh, you could have just adopted it out!", but it's just not that simple. My boyfriend would have disappeared entirely, and my family would have gone through the roof. They wouldn't be the supportive type - no, in their eyes I'd forever be just a slut. It's very probably they'd have thrown me out of home completely. Similarly, I couldn't handly the public stares, the judgment and shame of being an unwed, pregnant teen. I certainly wouldn't have had the money for maternity clothes, pre-natal care, etc. What's more, I have a psychiatric condition, and pregnancy would mean ceasing all medication. God knows what all the stress and no meds would have done to my health.
As for the emotional agony of giving away the child I'd bonded with for 9 months and laboured to deliver, never to see him or her again? I knew I just could not cope.
I knew that an abortion would not only be better for me, but for the baby. That doesn't mean I was at all happy about it - hospitals freak me out. However, it would have been the lesser evil.
Luckily, I wasn't pregnant. My uterus was presumably just playing with my mind. However, it got me thinking - a woman's right to chose is sacred and should never be interfered with. Accidents happen, you can't just assume she and her partner were too foolish to wear a condom. However, how can you curb the number of abortions without making it illegal to have one? I have a few ideas:
Firstly, create greater support for women who want to continue their unplanned pregnancy and adopt out the child. This can be achieved through a number of ways:
* Make things more matter of fact - pregnancy is pregnancy. It's just a biological mechanism. "Pregnancy = she had sex = scandal!" is a downright idiotic way of thinking. Through massive public education, whatever, massively reduce the stigma that comes from being pregnant and unwed/young, whatever.
* Suport the finanical expenses that come from pregnancy. It's not cheap. Maternity clothes, proper medical care, housing where necessary - pay it all. Surely a few grand in taxpayers' dollars is worth it?
* Let the birth mother have some contact with her offspring once adopted out. I'm not talking about legal responsibilty or the like, but at the very least a regular update and a photo of the child. The birth mother did you a favour. It's the the least you can do to repay her.
Secondly, greater access to contraceptives. Abstinence is a nice idea, but it quite obviously doesn't work. Install free condom vending machines in high schools, greately reduce the expense of the Pill, and emphasise sex education. I once knew a girl who was highly intelligent - skipped 9th grade, was incredibly gifted in English. However, she came up to me one day and said "Kat - it's safe not to use condoms during and just after my period, isn't it?" :doh I nearly had a heart attack.
Last: TEACH MEN TO BE RESPONSIBLE. Just because she's the one who has to deal with the consequences doesn't mean it should all responsibility should rest with the woman. Force it into their skulls that if they try to weasel out of safe sex, they might end up with a screaming baby in their hands. What's more, make the penalties for men who try wimp out and run away from their half of the responsibility much, much harsher. If they try to skip town, let them know that they'll be found and made to account for what was equally his doing. I love my boyfriend - but his cowardice utterly appalled me.
Remember than no woman wants an abortion like she wants a haircut. Find ways to make the alternative options easier and fairer, rather than forcing it upon her and leaving her to suffer alone.