Good news for me...my last scan came out good so I get to stay on the Opdiva cocktail instead of heavy-duty chemo. Still no symptoms of any kind except shortness of breath. I swear I am blessed.
I've had a hard time coming to terms with what happened. I call it mental masturbating. I tend to hash and rehash what's happened and have been borderline obsessive with Tom's unbelievable behavior.
The counselor suggested a journal. That's been helpful. And I've come to manage my sleep so I'm well rested -- which helps a lot. Things seem never bleaker than at 3 am on a sleepless night.
My friends are my gift. They are wonderful. Have taken a few short trips with some of the,. Always breakfast, lunch or dinner out a few times a week. And phone calls in between.
I've gotten more projects done around the house! Staying busy is,excellent therapy. Looking around, one wonderful side effect of Tom not being her anymore is that I'm back living my minimalist lifestyle. Don't have to contend with his hoarding tendencies.
Tom's sister and his brother's girlfriend have stayed in touch. Lunch with them next week. I'm still not sure how that feels... His sister started to tell me something about what he was doing, and I stopped her. "Just let me know if he's on fire," I said. I did apologize for that. He is her brother and in her life, of course. But I just don't want to know.
What's that Kevin O'Leary quote? ""You're dead to me." It's really not far off since the man I thought I knew hasn't existed for quite some time.
Betrayal is a horrible feeling. Add it to a terminal diagnosis and it becomes almost unbearable. But having said that, though, I'm doing much better.
I was betrayed one other time in my life. It took me better than a year to get it into perspective. I finally did so by working on one thing: forgiveness. Someone posted on Facebook today a quote by Tony Robbins... forgiveness is a gift to yourself.
Hit me like a ton of bricks, as they say. I'm workin' on it. I'll get there. Not that HE will ever know - or care - but I will.
Tomorrow is lunch with friends at Wildfire in Schaumburg, a top-notch steakhouse. I'll have to find something to get into Friday and Saturday. And Sunday evening is dinner and a movie with a friend. Next week is busy.
Thanks for listening!
I've had a hard time coming to terms with what happened. I call it mental masturbating. I tend to hash and rehash what's happened and have been borderline obsessive with Tom's unbelievable behavior.
The counselor suggested a journal. That's been helpful. And I've come to manage my sleep so I'm well rested -- which helps a lot. Things seem never bleaker than at 3 am on a sleepless night.
My friends are my gift. They are wonderful. Have taken a few short trips with some of the,. Always breakfast, lunch or dinner out a few times a week. And phone calls in between.
I've gotten more projects done around the house! Staying busy is,excellent therapy. Looking around, one wonderful side effect of Tom not being her anymore is that I'm back living my minimalist lifestyle. Don't have to contend with his hoarding tendencies.
Tom's sister and his brother's girlfriend have stayed in touch. Lunch with them next week. I'm still not sure how that feels... His sister started to tell me something about what he was doing, and I stopped her. "Just let me know if he's on fire," I said. I did apologize for that. He is her brother and in her life, of course. But I just don't want to know.
What's that Kevin O'Leary quote? ""You're dead to me." It's really not far off since the man I thought I knew hasn't existed for quite some time.
Betrayal is a horrible feeling. Add it to a terminal diagnosis and it becomes almost unbearable. But having said that, though, I'm doing much better.
I was betrayed one other time in my life. It took me better than a year to get it into perspective. I finally did so by working on one thing: forgiveness. Someone posted on Facebook today a quote by Tony Robbins... forgiveness is a gift to yourself.
Hit me like a ton of bricks, as they say. I'm workin' on it. I'll get there. Not that HE will ever know - or care - but I will.
Tomorrow is lunch with friends at Wildfire in Schaumburg, a top-notch steakhouse. I'll have to find something to get into Friday and Saturday. And Sunday evening is dinner and a movie with a friend. Next week is busy.
Thanks for listening!