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Uggh needy needy Husband

We have worked it out somewhat. He still has the bad habit of doing this, but I make appointments now and he doesn't bother me for a certain space of time during an entire day every week and a few hours for another. We also are working appointment-based and not on-demand to lessen my stress levels. When I went to the doctor, they found I had increased blood pressure and it was stress-related. BP is going back down to normal again. Needless to say, my doctor also had a serious heart-to-heart with him and then we sat down with a financial planner that is working with us on how to balance personal space, life, and a business. During the one day a week, I can go do whatever it is that I want, it is outside of the house though. I still have access to Instacart, so I can do that if I wish, believe it or not, I find it relaxing to do and I am shopping with other people's money and making money at the same time. I can just sit all day at Starbucks watching the stock market (although depending on which way it goes that can be rather stressful too) Or like right now, I can just be in here running my mouth with you guys. We also have a deal no talking about work once we sit down and finish dinner. Once dinner is done, the work talk is also done, and our phones are ignored.
I have to keep myself organized and on task too and keep him from going outside those rues as well, but it's working. I love my husband dearly; he is a wonderful partner and stepfather to my kids. He also is a good business partner and has wonderful ethics. He just is a bit needy due to his own shyness and insecurity over his language abilities and accent. We have community members that are very tolerant of his English skills and work hard at understanding him and try just texting me if there truly is a barrier where neither is sure if they properly understood one another. Outside the community area though, I am very hands-on and pretty much stay at the job site.
 
Okay, most of you know that my husband has some challenges in English. His native language is Spanish, but he tends to do okay understanding and communicating with our clients for the most part. We do restoration of Historic homes and very old homes. Anyhow, I have decided that 2 days a week...1 day during the week and Sunday I am off from doing our business work, so that I can focus on a few things on my plate....cleaning the house, laundry, and my personal things...as well as I want to plan for when we retire a business that I want to do just for the fun of it. I want to open a coffee shop and antique consignment shop in a very small town that we work in, in South Carolina. So, all of that takes a ton of planning and budgeting etc...plus not to mention grocery shopping, laundry and home stuff....yet, today...my supposed day off...he called me no less than 14 times between 9am and 6pm. It drove me absolutely insane...not to mention early he wanted me to run to the jobsite an hour away from our home, because he needed such and such. So, not sure when I am going to feasibly get the other stuff done that we need in our personal life...not to mention I kind of need some down time, just to relax. grrr...am I being unreasonable? I know he needs me to communicate price lists, etc...when it rains, letting a customer know we cannot paint that day, etc...but 14 times in 9 hours?

How do I communicate that I love him very much and support our business and want it to succeed, but I also need time for personal stuff too.
You just said it. Now say it to him.
 
Tell him you need some time to do whatever as you kiss and hug him... go do your errands and suck his dick when you get back as a reward.

The next time bring him home a steak or whatever from his favorite restaurant.

Guys are pretty simple. He will appreciate it and get on board with the new routine right quick.
 
Tell him you need some time to do whatever as you kiss and hug him... go do your errands and suck his dick when you get back as a reward.

The next time bring him home a steak or whatever from his favorite restaurant.

Guys are pretty simple. He will appreciate it and get on board with the new routine right quick.
Sheesh Bodhi!
 
@ClaraD --- not everyone has a gift for learning a new language and as we get older it becomes more difficult for a lot of people.
That said, it's NOT impossible, and in fact, with a really GOOD language course, it's not even all that difficult, you just need the kind of tool he will use and enjoy using.
My suggestion is that you prepare to be willing to invest 250 to maybe even 500 bucks in an excellent language tutoring program or instructor, preferably an interactive program that can be used all day long, because instructors cannot show up the moment you get in trouble but a software proggie can.

It's well worth the money because this is the ONE core issue that is causing trouble.
 
Tell him you need some time to do whatever as you kiss and hug him... go do your errands and suck his dick when you get back as a reward.

The next time bring him home a steak or whatever from his favorite restaurant.

Guys are pretty simple. He will appreciate it and get on board with the new routine right quick.

Stop acting like a jerk.
 
It might have been blunt but it was sincere advice. Most guys are pretty simple.
It's terrible advice for any situation after 1950. "Go buy him a steak then suck his dick?" Guys get stabbed for less.
 
It's terrible advice for any situation after 1950. "Go buy him a steak then suck his dick?" Guys get stabbed for less
It works if it is a loving good relationship.
 
It might have been blunt but it was sincere advice. Most guys are pretty simple.

Sure okay... @Bodhisattva, sorry I said you were acting like a jerk, and if it helps your dear hubby learn English better, all's well that ends well.
I really should work on trying to be more open-minded and sex-positive.
Oh wait, 1641424955961.png I'm plenty sex-positive, I guess I just wasn't expecting Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" to spring forth as a model teaching tool. 😆😆😆



Ummm, by the way, how'z @ClaraD feeling about your advice? 1641425098587.png
 
In a loving relationship problems get discussed and solved without bribery. Steaks and blow jobs should be freely given not used to get your way.
They should be done anyway... there is no bribery. He should be treating her like a Queen, massages, doing what she asks immediately, there are books on this stuff. I said what I said as a way to get things started. Use that as context.
 
Sure okay... @Bodhisattva, sorry I said you were acting like a jerk, and if it helps your dear hubby learn English better, all's well that ends well.
I really should work on trying to be more open-minded and sex-positive.
Oh wait, View attachment 67367547 I'm plenty sex-positive, I guess I just wasn't expecting Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" to spring forth as a model teaching tool. 😆😆😆



Ummm, by the way, how'z @ClaraD feeling about your advice? View attachment 67367551

You are forgiven.
 
They should be done anyway... there is no bribery. He should be treating her like a Queen, massages, doing what she asks immediately, there are books on this stuff. I said what I said as a way to get things started. Use that as context.
How about a congenial, intelligent relationship of mutual respect and companionship where men don't have to treat women like queens and the women don't have to bribe men.
 
@ClaraD --- not everyone has a gift for learning a new language and as we get older it becomes more difficult for a lot of people.
That said, it's NOT impossible, and in fact, with a really GOOD language course, it's not even all that difficult, you just need the kind of tool he will use and enjoy using.
My suggestion is that you prepare to be willing to invest 250 to maybe even 500 bucks in an excellent language tutoring program or instructor, preferably an interactive program that can be used all day long, because instructors cannot show up the moment you get in trouble but a software proggie can.

It's well worth the money because this is the ONE core issue that is causing trouble.
honestly, we really don't have time for him to go to school. We wake up every morning around 5 am and get ready for work. He is out of the house and on his way by 6 am and he does not leave the job site until 6 or 7 am depending on the time of year and that runs 6 to 7 days a week. Not quite sure when he is supposed to go to hours long English classes (which would need to occur at least 3 if not 4 times a week for it to make a difference)
 
This thread got interesting fast.
 
It is a tough situation but you should be grateful business is that busy.

How many men are working on your husbands crew? Couldn't you find a younger laborer and/or skilled worker who has a better command of english?

If you are acting like a project manager for the company, can't you hire a young person to start mirroring you? The must have skills would be speaks fluent spanish and english and has a drivers license.

You work in an industry where education is not a hard requirement. If you find a good minority with a work effort and motive to help and learn from you, you will probably be setting this person/s up for a good life with real world skills most people do not have.
 
honestly, we really don't have time for him to go to school. We wake up every morning around 5 am and get ready for work. He is out of the house and on his way by 6 am and he does not leave the job site until 6 or 7 am depending on the time of year and that runs 6 to 7 days a week. Not quite sure when he is supposed to go to hours long English classes (which would need to occur at least 3 if not 4 times a week for it to make a difference)
Listening to lessons while driving would fill some of those requirements.
When you talk with him, are you speaking spanish or english.? If you are speaking spanish for your benefit, you might be impeding progress as a union.

I will say good luck. but I will also remind you that this is actually a byproduct of good things going on with work and it is always great to be busy.

PS, It would be much better for you to hire someone to do your housework so you and focus on finances and planning!!!
 
Listening to lessons while driving would fill some of those requirements.
When you talk with him, are you speaking spanish or english.? If you are speaking spanish for your benefit, you might be impeding progress as a union.

I will say good luck. but I will also remind you that this is actually a byproduct of good things going on with work and it is always great to be busy.

PS, It would be much better for you to hire someone to do your housework so you and focus on finances and planning!!!
I would love to do so, but I am sort of an introvert and not very trusting. I usually do not even invite my family to the house...not because I don't trust them, but because I love my privacy and quiet. The exception would probably be my kids, but even they are somewhat this way so we don't meet much at each other's homes...more at some restaurant, etc. We are slowly working it out, but yes, busy can be good...just mentally exhausting. He is taking on some of our regular clients on his own and they are being patient as he explains what he needs to do and what the costs are with clarifications to me via text. I also took on another job outside of our business, but I am not sure how long that is going to last considering that our location will likely be sold eventually and usually supervisors are on the chopping block when businesses are sold.
 
I would love to do so, but I am sort of an introvert and not very trusting. I usually do not even invite my family to the house...not because I don't trust them, but because I love my privacy and quiet. The exception would probably be my kids, but even they are somewhat this way so we don't meet much at each other's homes...more at some restaurant, etc. We are slowly working it out, but yes, busy can be good...just mentally exhausting. He is taking on some of our regular clients on his own and they are being patient as he explains what he needs to do and what the costs are with clarifications to me via text. I also took on another job outside of our business, but I am not sure how long that is going to last considering that our location will likely be sold eventually and usually supervisors are on the chopping block when businesses are sold.
I only have one suggestion. When your husband leaves this impossible situation don't act like it's some kind of surprise.
 
I only have one suggestion. When your husband leaves this impossible situation don't act like it's some kind of surprise.
Leaves what impossible situation? How is it impossible for him? BTW, I am the Contractor by license, not him.
 
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