Well, firstly, most women actually don't date guys like that these days, let alone marry them. Not younger ones, anyway. In the younger generations, those guys seem to do ok in the first couple years of adulthood when most women aren't looking for anything but some fun, and their prospects worsen considerably in the following decade.
For those women who still do wind up with men like that, it's because those women were trained from birth that being treated that way is acceptable. They are further trained that their entire concept of worth hinges on whether a man thinks they are worth anything.
While you can stamp your feet all day about how they should simply know better, the fact is that human beings are social creatures who are programmed to take in and accept messages they receive while young, and require the presence of the people who are training them to be healthy both mentally and physically, so expecting them to simply upend their entire upbringing at the snap of their fingers is kind of an absurd expectation. Plenty of women spend an awful lot of years in therapy trying to do that, and it's not a simple proposition when the heart of that training is that their feelings simply don't matter.
A lot of women still living honestly believe they just can't do any better. In some communities, women might not have any other choice if they want relationships or kids: those kinds of men might be the only kind of men there are. There are still lots of places like that in America. I've seen plenty of them.
This is considerably less true of the younger generations, but I know very few women over 50 who expect much else from men, and for every good reason: that's what most men were like. I thank dog all the time that I grew up with a better pool to pick from, in a generation where "man" and "feeling human being" aren't considered to be antonyms anymore. But then, I still know some other women my age who weren't so lucky, because some communities still haven't joined the 21st century.
Is there such a thing as toxic femininity? Yes, but predominantly to the woman herself. The stereotype of femininity is, by its very message, meant to take away any amount of power she might have over her outside life or even her concept of herself. Femininity is defined as meekness and submissiveness in that stereotype. So, naturally, the damage a woman living by that stereotype can do is rather limited, except to herself. Such women are usually pretty severely self-abusive (lots of mental illness, substance abuse, self-harm, etc). But, again, this is fortunately getting much less common than it once was.
There are other toxicities that exist in the world of women that are related to our stereotypes of the genders, but they are not exactly related to femininity, per se. The most severe as far as I can see is in the way women see each other and seek to divorce themselves from being thought of as women. The old "I only have guy friends because women suck... except me." This is a way of managing the stigma against women being able to be competent and normal human beings by divorcing oneself from it by claiming exception. "I accept society's message that women as a whole are weak/less intelligent/crazy/insert stereotype here, but I'm the outlier who's not like the others." This is still quite common, in my experience.
Stigma management is something that all marginalized people deal with at some point. Some methods are healthy, others are not. This particular unhealthy method seems to be especially common with women. I think that, because women are such a huge percentage of the population, and because there's not really any such thing as a "woman's neighborhood" due to the mandates of familial and reproductive biology, it is harder for women to build solid communities, and therefore harder for them to find solidarity in each other. It's more difficult for women to organize the way, say, black people or gay people do, because they don't, and can't, have their own little enclaves. The most severely marginalized women are also the ones whose lives are the least within their control, so they can't really go seek that community easily.
Because women are inherently more fragmented from each other, it is easier for them to turn on each other as a form of stigma management.
In terms of how it affects men, honestly, I don't see any clear pattern. The bad ways women affect men seem to follow the expected randomness of "some people are just ****ty."
And before you talk to me about things like child custody and alimony, let's keep in mind that it's mostly old white men who are making those judgements, and they're doing so largely because they believe women are too helpless to support themselves, and men are too unfeeling to make good primary parents.