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Too many sex partners

Gray_Fox_86

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Ok. So how many of you have a limit to when it comes to deciding on a wife/husband do you say no due to how many sex partners they have had? I guess I am a bit insecure and at times feel worthless. I do not have too many sex partners so I know any wife-if there ever will be-will have more partners than I. There are not that many women who are virgins at my age or who are not in relationships or who are not fooling around with random people. So how do you get over that insecurity? You know my dad after a year of marriage with my mother told her that he did not love her. And I think it had to do with the fact that he loved someone else one of his past lovers. He never forgot about her and after thirty years of marriage he cheated on my mom with this lover from a long time ago. Its a fact that if a woman sees a previous lover regardless of how the relationship ended she is most likely going to try and meet up with him. And that will lead to infidelity.

So what do you guys say? I figure that it is best to have sex with prostitutes regardless if I get married. I won't stop having sex with random women if I do get married because I know that the difference between the two of us. Is that she will have been in love with a past lover who may still be in her thoughts more than I. If I were to continue having sex with random women while still being married I will not lose anything because I never loved to begin with.
 

rivrrat

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Ok. So how many of you have a limit to when it comes to deciding on a wife/husband do you say no due to how many sex partners they have had? I guess I am a bit insecure and at times feel worthless. I do not have too many sex partners so I know any wife-if there ever will be-will have more partners than I. There are not that many women who are virgins at my age or who are not in relationships or who are not fooling around with random people. So how do you get over that insecurity?
I'm not sure how you get over it. I've never had it, personally. I just don't give a ****. If they're not with those people any longer, there's a reason. They're with ME now, and that's what I focus on. Not the past. The past is the past. Who they slept with previously is completely irrelevant to my relationship with them.

You know my dad after a year of marriage with my mother told her that he did not love her. And I think it had to do with the fact that he loved someone else one of his past lovers. He never forgot about her and after thirty years of marriage he cheated on my mom with this lover from a long time ago. Its a fact that if a woman sees a previous lover regardless of how the relationship ended she is most likely going to try and meet up with him. And that will lead to infidelity.
LOL No, that is NOT a "fact". Not even remotely.


So what do you guys say? I figure that it is best to have sex with prostitutes regardless if I get married. I won't stop having sex with random women if I do get married because I know that the difference between the two of us. Is that she will have been in love with a past lover who may still be in her thoughts more than I. If I were to continue having sex with random women while still being married I will not lose anything because I never loved to begin with.
I have no idea what this is even supposed to mean. Why would you marry someone you don't love and plan on lying and being unfaithful to?
 

Thorgasm

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It doesn't matter. You can't control whether or not you get cheated on so why bother worrying about it. Unless you are dating your mother, your dad's relationship doesn't mean anything to your future relationships.

Also, you aren't ready for marriage. Just try to relax about this relationship stuff. Find a girl that likes you and hang out with her and have fun.
 

1069

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Its a fact that if a woman sees a previous lover regardless of how the relationship ended she is most likely going to try and meet up with him. And that will lead to infidelity.

How old are you?
 

Josie

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The "86" in his name could be his birth year. That would make him 24 this year.
 

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I married a Virgin, I wouldn't know what that's like. Now that I'm over 30 if my wife were to leave/die I guess I'd have to settle for a spoilt woman... but I'd hate too.
 

Jetboogieman

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I married a Virgin, I wouldn't know what that's like. Now that I'm over 30 if my wife were to leave/die I guess I'd have to settle for a spoilt woman... but I'd hate too.
I for once agree with you MrVicchio.

But as I've come to discover. There are some advantages to having an experienced woman ;)
 

aps

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Ok. So how many of you have a limit to when it comes to deciding on a wife/husband do you say no due to how many sex partners they have had? I guess I am a bit insecure and at times feel worthless. I do not have too many sex partners so I know any wife-if there ever will be-will have more partners than I. There are not that many women who are virgins at my age or who are not in relationships or who are not fooling around with random people. So how do you get over that insecurity?
My husband and I are in that situation. When we got married, he had slept with significantly less people than I had. Significantly. It was something that bothered him way back when we started our sexual relationship (we got HIV testing before that), but that was due to insecurity. Once our relationship was secure and all that good stuff, it has meant absolutely nothing (we've been together since 1996). For me, I loved the fact that he hadn't gotten around all that much.

You know my dad after a year of marriage with my mother told her that he did not love her. And I think it had to do with the fact that he loved someone else one of his past lovers. He never forgot about her and after thirty years of marriage he cheated on my mom with this lover from a long time ago. Its a fact that if a woman sees a previous lover regardless of how the relationship ended she is most likely going to try and meet up with him. And that will lead to infidelity.
No way is that true. I have absolutely no interest in hooking up with someone I hooked up with a looooong time ago. I'm happily married. You cannot judge how every person would act based upon how your father acted. I woudln't have married my husband if I thought he would be like his cheating father. Your argument is not logical, Gray Fox.

So what do you guys say? I figure that it is best to have sex with prostitutes regardless if I get married. I won't stop having sex with random women if I do get married because I know that the difference between the two of us. Is that she will have been in love with a past lover who may still be in her thoughts more than I. If I were to continue having sex with random women while still being married I will not lose anything because I never loved to begin with.
See rivrrat's comment. I agree.
 

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I married a Virgin, I wouldn't know what that's like. Now that I'm over 30 if my wife were to leave/die I guess I'd have to settle for a spoilt woman... but I'd hate too.
Um.... gross.
You'd be lucky to get any woman at all. Seriously.
Even if she'd had sex with half the continent, she'd be the one who'd be "settling".
I've seen your pics.
 

tacomancer

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I for once agree with you MrVicchio.

But as I've come to discover. There are some advantages to having an experienced woman ;)
I married a Virgin, I wouldn't know what that's like. Now that I'm over 30 if my wife were to leave/die I guess I'd have to settle for a spoilt woman... but I'd hate too.
After enough years, you can have the advantage of both ;)

My wife was a virgin when I met her and as far as I know, I am the only guy she has been with. Honestly though, I don't care if she was a virgin or not. The only thing I ask of her in that realm is that she stays faithful to me, and me to her, while we are married. The past is the past.
 
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liblady

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Ok. So how many of you have a limit to when it comes to deciding on a wife/husband do you say no due to how many sex partners they have had? I guess I am a bit insecure and at times feel worthless. I do not have too many sex partners so I know any wife-if there ever will be-will have more partners than I. There are not that many women who are virgins at my age or who are not in relationships or who are not fooling around with random people. So how do you get over that insecurity? You know my dad after a year of marriage with my mother told her that he did not love her. And I think it had to do with the fact that he loved someone else one of his past lovers. He never forgot about her and after thirty years of marriage he cheated on my mom with this lover from a long time ago. Its a fact that if a woman sees a previous lover regardless of how the relationship ended she is most likely going to try and meet up with him. And that will lead to infidelity.

it's absolutely NOT a fact, and don't blame your father's infidelity on the woman. And don't let your parent's life color your judgement.

So what do you guys say? I figure that it is best to have sex with prostitutes regardless if I get married. I won't stop having sex with random women if I do get married because I know that the difference between the two of us. Is that she will have been in love with a past lover who may still be in her thoughts more than I. If I were to continue having sex with random women while still being married I will not lose anything because I never loved to begin with.

if that's your view, you should never get married. why bother?
 

liblady

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I married a Virgin, I wouldn't know what that's like. Now that I'm over 30 if my wife were to leave/die I guess I'd have to settle for a spoilt woman... but I'd hate too.
"spoilt"? good lord.
 
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Wait a minute.... People actually discuss how may previous partners they've had????? I don't see any point in this? :confused:

My wife and I have never, and I mean never discussed that issue. First of all we came into the relationship with each of us having a child so we know it's at least 1 but most likely more. My question is why does it matter? What purpose could it possibly serve to discuss the number of previous partners with each other??? I agree with riverrat on this one. My wife is with ME and I'm with HER and no one else, that's what matters. I really don't care how many partners she's had. I'd be happy living the rest of my life without ever knowing because I'm secure in the fact that she won't cheat on me.

And for what it's worth, I'd never post how many people I've been with, I just think it's a personal thing that shouldn't be public knowledge.
 

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If you get the clap, it's too many.

Personally, I don't care how many people went balls-deep on a chick I'm gonna marry - as long as it's just me afterward. If she's STD-free and monogamous, it's all good. Tap it like a keg.
 

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I was kidding about the spoilt bit. Look, if she loves you, and she's clean... aces. You have to decide if you want the baggage that MIGHT come from an... experienced woman.

But really, I've had friends whose marriages fell apart when their virgin wives (when they met) realized that maybe there was more to sex then what they were getting.
 

Captain America

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Well, the wife I got has never been with another man sexually. That's what she tells me. Her lifelong friends, the ones that REALLY know her, will say the same about her.

But it really doesn't matter because once I get past the used part it's like brand new ***** to me.
 

StandUpChuck

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It was never even discussed, as it was none of our business. Both of us were clean, and neither one of us cheated once we got engaged. I couldn't care less what my husband did before we were an exclusive couple. As long as he doesn't have an STD, it's not my concern.
 

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I don't care how many people my partner slept with before me and I don't rightly care how many he sleeps with besides me now. As long as I remain the only emotional attachment he has, that's all that matters to me. However, if I find out his distractions move from just ****ing to actually dating in some capacity, he will have to live with the guilt of that lover's death for the rest of his life because I will erase them.

I am not jealous at all but I am very territorial.
 

Goshin

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Ok. So how many of you have a limit to when it comes to deciding on a wife/husband do you say no due to how many sex partners they have had? I guess I am a bit insecure and at times feel worthless. I do not have too many sex partners so I know any wife-if there ever will be-will have more partners than I. There are not that many women who are virgins at my age or who are not in relationships or who are not fooling around with random people. So how do you get over that insecurity? You know my dad after a year of marriage with my mother told her that he did not love her. And I think it had to do with the fact that he loved someone else one of his past lovers. He never forgot about her and after thirty years of marriage he cheated on my mom with this lover from a long time ago. Its a fact that if a woman sees a previous lover regardless of how the relationship ended she is most likely going to try and meet up with him. And that will lead to infidelity.

So what do you guys say? I figure that it is best to have sex with prostitutes regardless if I get married. I won't stop having sex with random women if I do get married because I know that the difference between the two of us. Is that she will have been in love with a past lover who may still be in her thoughts more than I. If I were to continue having sex with random women while still being married I will not lose anything because I never loved to begin with.


Dude. :eek:


I don't even know where to begin. Most of that is just so wrong and so far from reality that I don't think I can even unravel it.

I'm sorry your parents had a bad relationship, but that in no way means your life will be anything similar. It certainly does not supply a "general rule" about relationships.

Do NOT get married until you have gotten rid of all this baggage.

There is no way you can have a good marriage with all this crazy crap clogging your brain. You're going to have to set aside your preconceptions first and understand that every woman is an individual, and every marriage is different from every other marriage.

You need Mental Erase(tm). Badly.
 

Orion

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Virginity is so overrated in today's world... whether you have it or you've lost it, like it's some badge of honor, a rite of passage, or a bargaining chip. The first time I had sex, I did it because I wanted to, and it was just fine. I remember thinking just after, "That's it?" Not because the guy was lousy, but because there was so much build up to the "first time" that I thought it was going to be this crazy, life shattering experience. It was just... nice. It felt good, the guy was sweet, we hung out a lot that summer.

I don't see why your sexual history should relate to your self worth. Our society places way too much emphasis on sex... like if you're not having it or having access to it all the time then you're somehow a worthless human being. I would much rather wait for the right person who I can fall madly in love with and be with for the long term to come along and sweep me off my feet, than have access to a whole harem of partners.
 
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Gray_Fox_86

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I don't care how many people my partner slept with before me and I don't rightly care how many he sleeps with besides me now. As long as I remain the only emotional attachment he has, that's all that matters to me. However, if I find out his distractions move from just ****ing to actually dating in some capacity, he will have to live with the guilt of that lover's death for the rest of his life because I will erase them.

I am not jealous at all but I am very territorial.
You are territorial which is another form of jealousy. So you and your girl are both out and she sees a past lover who is a friend now. What do you do? You start to strut your presense around making sure he knows that she is yours. Am i right?
 

Gray_Fox_86

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Dude. :eek:


I don't even know where to begin. Most of that is just so wrong and so far from reality that I don't think I can even unravel it.

I'm sorry your parents had a bad relationship, but that in no way means your life will be anything similar. It certainly does not supply a "general rule" about relationships.

Do NOT get married until you have gotten rid of all this baggage.

There is no way you can have a good marriage with all this crazy crap clogging your brain. You're going to have to set aside your preconceptions first and understand that every woman is an individual, and every marriage is different from every other marriage.

You need Mental Erase(tm). Badly.
I understand that every marriage is different, but just because we love one another does not mean she would not cheat if given the opportunity to do so. Its why I am nervous because if she has had several serious relationships that lasted for more than 2 years. Than there are chances that she still will be hung up on that guy regardless of how time passes. I am not talking about a woman who has sewed her wild oats I am talking about a woman who has never been seriously promiscuous. That she basically will remember and quite possibly want to have a fling if it ever came up with a past lover.

And then there are the promiscuous women, who is to say that they will ever be happy with a guy who will treat them good? Who is to say that any women can be faithful to a man who treats her good, but is rather distant because that is part of his personality. What do you do then? I have been cheated on and her reason was that I was too distant but still I told her that I loved her and she knew that. And yet she cheated on me with her previous bf. I don't think its crazy crap clogging my head. Monogamy is a joke, marriage is for reproducing children that does not mean you should stop having sex on the side.
 

jallman

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You are territorial which is another form of jealousy. So you and your girl are both out and she sees a past lover who is a friend now. What do you do? You start to strut your presense around making sure he knows that she is yours. Am i right?
Nope. I have zero interest in his associations with other people. My only concerns are whether he comes home at night and that nothing impedes the growth and health of our personal relationship with each other. If he has past lovers (which I know he does) or even present lovers, it doesn't concern me in the slightest unless they begin to infringe on my space somehow. :shrug:

Jealousy is born of insecurity with yourself and mistrust of your partner. Neither of those are good things and are both very female traits to have.
 

Gray_Fox_86

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Nope. I have zero interest in his associations with other people. My only concerns are whether he comes home at night and that nothing impedes the growth and health of our personal relationship with each other. If he has past lovers (which I know he does) or even present lovers, it doesn't concern me in the slightest unless they begin to infringe on my space somehow. :shrug:

Jealousy is born of insecurity with yourself and mistrust of your partner. Neither of those are good things and are both very female traits to have.
wait wait what? You do not care if he sleeps around as long as he is emotionally attracted to you only?!


Or did I read that wrong?
 
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