MaggieD
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2010
- Messages
- 43,244
- Reaction score
- 44,664
- Location
- Chicago Area
- Gender
- Female
- Political Leaning
- Moderate
My mom has known John for almost 50 years. For the first 42 years (OMG), he slept in his own home with his brother, sister and mother...a TINY little 2-bedroom house. He LIVED at my mom's house...coming there right after work, eating dinner there, and enjoying her home as his own. After the first ten years of that, I insisted that my mom make him pay for his food. (He paid nothing.) So he decided they'd each put $60 in a kitty, and he'd do all the shopping. He goes to 4 or 5 stores a week, shopping sales and buying 39-cent TV dinners on sale. (OMG) They still, many years later, only put $60 in their kitty.
Eight years ago, he moved in with her after a serious health crisis. He's lived there since, paying his $60 a month towards his food. In the last three years or so, whenever mom has a major purchase for the house, he's paid for half. Mainly because he knew I was unhappy with the arrangement.
Mom gets a pension of $390 a month and $1200 in Social Security. She does have money in the bank because she's lived a frugal life. I manage my mom's money now . . . she can't do it anymore. She has "enough." And I help John with his finances. And help John manage his brother who is senile and in an assisted living center. John has $1.5 million.
He goes to the gambling boat twice a week, and, if he wins, he gives mom $50 - $100...after which I hear from mom, "Isn't he just wonderful???" Unbeknownst to me until recently, he's kept track of every penny he's "given" her since he moved in. Carries it in his wallet. It probably amounts to about $30,000 over eight years.
I pay for mom's cable, put electricity in her backyard and garage, an electric garage door opener (for John's use, mom doesn't drive) put up a cyclone fence for her, got her basement waterproofed ($5,000), pay for a once-a-month cleaning service for her. I manage her home -- got it completely redecorated last year, cleaned it out. John paid for half of that. Mom thought he was her hero. Right now I'm hiring a landscaper to clean up all of her gardens and put mulch down. They're a mess. (She'll pay for that out of her money.)
I am so resentful. Mom can't live alone anymore. I could take her here in a heartbeat...I'm fairly certain she'd come...but that puts John out of a home. He's such a cantankerous, selfish old man. Brain fried after 60 years of alcoholism. (He no longer drinks.) But, as far as I can tell, he takes adequate care of my mom...albeit berating her for getting old. (Makes fun, hollers at her for being so slow...that kind of thing.)
I want to insist that he pay his way...that he put in half of all home maintenance expenses; maybe half the utilities.
What do you think? (Rant Off)
Eight years ago, he moved in with her after a serious health crisis. He's lived there since, paying his $60 a month towards his food. In the last three years or so, whenever mom has a major purchase for the house, he's paid for half. Mainly because he knew I was unhappy with the arrangement.
Mom gets a pension of $390 a month and $1200 in Social Security. She does have money in the bank because she's lived a frugal life. I manage my mom's money now . . . she can't do it anymore. She has "enough." And I help John with his finances. And help John manage his brother who is senile and in an assisted living center. John has $1.5 million.
He goes to the gambling boat twice a week, and, if he wins, he gives mom $50 - $100...after which I hear from mom, "Isn't he just wonderful???" Unbeknownst to me until recently, he's kept track of every penny he's "given" her since he moved in. Carries it in his wallet. It probably amounts to about $30,000 over eight years.
I pay for mom's cable, put electricity in her backyard and garage, an electric garage door opener (for John's use, mom doesn't drive) put up a cyclone fence for her, got her basement waterproofed ($5,000), pay for a once-a-month cleaning service for her. I manage her home -- got it completely redecorated last year, cleaned it out. John paid for half of that. Mom thought he was her hero. Right now I'm hiring a landscaper to clean up all of her gardens and put mulch down. They're a mess. (She'll pay for that out of her money.)
I am so resentful. Mom can't live alone anymore. I could take her here in a heartbeat...I'm fairly certain she'd come...but that puts John out of a home. He's such a cantankerous, selfish old man. Brain fried after 60 years of alcoholism. (He no longer drinks.) But, as far as I can tell, he takes adequate care of my mom...albeit berating her for getting old. (Makes fun, hollers at her for being so slow...that kind of thing.)
I want to insist that he pay his way...that he put in half of all home maintenance expenses; maybe half the utilities.
What do you think? (Rant Off)