- Joined
- May 8, 2017
- Messages
- 2,570
- Reaction score
- 695
- Location
- New York City area
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Very Liberal
I do not like feeling this way, but I do. Let’s call my colleague “Jon.” I have worked for “Robert” since 1986, with one minor and only partial interruption. Bob’s and my relationship, especially through 1998, was often stormy . Jon was hired in 1990, partially with my input. He is six years younger than me but he had a lot of things I lack; charisma and an easy way with people. During the early years, when it took courage, he stuck up for me during some of my fights with Bob. I remember one, especially, in December 1990.
As time went on I started to detect a certain amount of self-interest in his apparently benevolent behavior. One night in April 1993 when Bob and I were riding into New York City from the suburbs, Bob had referred to Jon as my “friend.” I said “he’s a friendly competitor.” In October 1995 his wife gave birth to a baby, their first of three. My wife had just gotten pregnant. We visited with him out in New Jersey. It was a pleasant visit until other friends of theirs came over. Jon’s wife handed my wife her coat and said “don’t you have another appointment”? A few weeks later, on November 3, 1995, I left the office for a brief visit to my grandmother, who I was told was dying. Not ten minutes after I left the office my cell phone (then new to me) rang. It was Jon and he asked “where are you” and I said “paying a last visit to my grandmother at the nursing home. He said “Jim, we need you back here.”
At the end of 2012 we merged into another firm. At the beginning of 2014, after a year, Bob and I left to join a bigger NYC firm after Bob had a near-altercation with the new firm’s senior partner. Jon stayed behind. I was "excessed" from that firm in the city a year later, at the end of 2014. Bob kept me going with referred work until May 2017, when he was also "excessed." We reconnected. In August 2018 Jon was fired and escorted out of his firm by security, accused of serious wrongdoing. We took him in. We merged, more happily, with yet another NYC firm. We constitute their suburban office.
Jon’s father is about to pass away. I make a great show of sympathy. But in light of his conduct with my grandmother’s death (and he wasn’t much nicer when my stepfather died at the end of 2013), I feel strangely cold. Am I wrong?
As time went on I started to detect a certain amount of self-interest in his apparently benevolent behavior. One night in April 1993 when Bob and I were riding into New York City from the suburbs, Bob had referred to Jon as my “friend.” I said “he’s a friendly competitor.” In October 1995 his wife gave birth to a baby, their first of three. My wife had just gotten pregnant. We visited with him out in New Jersey. It was a pleasant visit until other friends of theirs came over. Jon’s wife handed my wife her coat and said “don’t you have another appointment”? A few weeks later, on November 3, 1995, I left the office for a brief visit to my grandmother, who I was told was dying. Not ten minutes after I left the office my cell phone (then new to me) rang. It was Jon and he asked “where are you” and I said “paying a last visit to my grandmother at the nursing home. He said “Jim, we need you back here.”
At the end of 2012 we merged into another firm. At the beginning of 2014, after a year, Bob and I left to join a bigger NYC firm after Bob had a near-altercation with the new firm’s senior partner. Jon stayed behind. I was "excessed" from that firm in the city a year later, at the end of 2014. Bob kept me going with referred work until May 2017, when he was also "excessed." We reconnected. In August 2018 Jon was fired and escorted out of his firm by security, accused of serious wrongdoing. We took him in. We merged, more happily, with yet another NYC firm. We constitute their suburban office.
Jon’s father is about to pass away. I make a great show of sympathy. But in light of his conduct with my grandmother’s death (and he wasn’t much nicer when my stepfather died at the end of 2013), I feel strangely cold. Am I wrong?
