- Joined
- Jun 11, 2009
- Messages
- 19,657
- Reaction score
- 8,454
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Libertarian
From reading some of the threads in this forum it seems some individuals who have beliefs that homosexuality is wrong are surprised when some people they express this opinion to accuse them of being hateful towards homosexuals.
I don't seek to argue in this thread whether homosexuality is or is not wrong, and I am certainly not suggesting that people who believe it is wrong are hateful of homosexuals. However, I think people who hold the opinion that homosexuality is wrong have a responsibility to practice respect, courtesy, and tact when it comes to such an emotional topic, and I believe that such individuals, often choose not to understand the perspective of gay people.
When it comes to people who believe homosexuality is wrong, they tend to believe that the behavior of sexual relations between two people of the same sex is wrong. They also tend to believe that condemning a behavior is entirely separate of condemning an individual.
This would certainly be true if not for the need for authenticity. What does it mean to be authentic? It means you are a genuine human being. You are true to yourself. You are not pretending to be someone you are not. Most importantly your actions match your true feelings.
From the point of view of a gay person, homosexuality is not just a behavior. It is an attraction to members of the same sex. This attraction is certainly sexual but it also may be emotional, cognitive, and even spiritual. It is their true feelings. Homosexual behaviors are the actions that express those feelings, and they are not just expressed sexually but through affection, love, understanding, mutual disclosure, and connectedness.
When an individual who feels homosexuality is wrong asserts their belief, they must understand that they are arguing that the way in which gay people live as authentic and genuine people is wrong. That can come off as incredibly hurtful and insensitive and in fact, many individuals intend for it to come off that way in hopes of shaming gay people. It is no surprise that some people begin to assume that everyone who feels that homosexuality is wrong must be a hater of homosexual people.
As I said before, I'm not going to argue that people who believe homosexuality is wrong should change their beliefs. However, I do think it is important that when they express that they feel the behavior is wrong that they also recognize that it is how gay people try to live authentically in accordance to how they truly feel.
Please respect gays and lesbians freedom to be genuine in our own way and we will respect your freedom to be genuine in how you adhere to your own feelings. As long as we are not harming anyone, it is not your place to tell us that you cannot condone our behavior anymore that it would be our place to tell you that we could not condone yours. Everyone is entitled to live their lives as authentically as they wish as long they are not harming others.
Now when it comes to the political issues of gay rights and same sex marriage, that is a bit more complicated. However, we live in a democratic society and so we can agree to disagree. Sanctity and tradition are important values to some and equality and fairness are important values to others. We can remain authentic to our own values without attacking or belittling the values of others.
I hope this post clarifies why some resentments exist and what can be done to help alleviate them. It doesn't matter if you feel homosexual behavior is wrong but please recognize that gays must live in accordance with our own feelings and beliefs to be true to ourselves just as surely as you must live in accordance with your own feelings and beliefs.
I don't seek to argue in this thread whether homosexuality is or is not wrong, and I am certainly not suggesting that people who believe it is wrong are hateful of homosexuals. However, I think people who hold the opinion that homosexuality is wrong have a responsibility to practice respect, courtesy, and tact when it comes to such an emotional topic, and I believe that such individuals, often choose not to understand the perspective of gay people.
When it comes to people who believe homosexuality is wrong, they tend to believe that the behavior of sexual relations between two people of the same sex is wrong. They also tend to believe that condemning a behavior is entirely separate of condemning an individual.
This would certainly be true if not for the need for authenticity. What does it mean to be authentic? It means you are a genuine human being. You are true to yourself. You are not pretending to be someone you are not. Most importantly your actions match your true feelings.
From the point of view of a gay person, homosexuality is not just a behavior. It is an attraction to members of the same sex. This attraction is certainly sexual but it also may be emotional, cognitive, and even spiritual. It is their true feelings. Homosexual behaviors are the actions that express those feelings, and they are not just expressed sexually but through affection, love, understanding, mutual disclosure, and connectedness.
When an individual who feels homosexuality is wrong asserts their belief, they must understand that they are arguing that the way in which gay people live as authentic and genuine people is wrong. That can come off as incredibly hurtful and insensitive and in fact, many individuals intend for it to come off that way in hopes of shaming gay people. It is no surprise that some people begin to assume that everyone who feels that homosexuality is wrong must be a hater of homosexual people.
As I said before, I'm not going to argue that people who believe homosexuality is wrong should change their beliefs. However, I do think it is important that when they express that they feel the behavior is wrong that they also recognize that it is how gay people try to live authentically in accordance to how they truly feel.
Please respect gays and lesbians freedom to be genuine in our own way and we will respect your freedom to be genuine in how you adhere to your own feelings. As long as we are not harming anyone, it is not your place to tell us that you cannot condone our behavior anymore that it would be our place to tell you that we could not condone yours. Everyone is entitled to live their lives as authentically as they wish as long they are not harming others.
Now when it comes to the political issues of gay rights and same sex marriage, that is a bit more complicated. However, we live in a democratic society and so we can agree to disagree. Sanctity and tradition are important values to some and equality and fairness are important values to others. We can remain authentic to our own values without attacking or belittling the values of others.
I hope this post clarifies why some resentments exist and what can be done to help alleviate them. It doesn't matter if you feel homosexual behavior is wrong but please recognize that gays must live in accordance with our own feelings and beliefs to be true to ourselves just as surely as you must live in accordance with your own feelings and beliefs.
Last edited: