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This is right on the money...

Navy Pride

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Texas Cowboy:

A Texas cowboy was tending to his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly abrand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant for the National Democratic Party." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy, "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business........

Now give me back my dog."
 

Naughty Nurse

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Have to admit it NP - that made me laugh!!
 
H

HTColeman

Navy Pride said:
Texas Cowboy:

A Texas cowboy was tending to his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly abrand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant for the National Democratic Party." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy, "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business........

Now give me back my dog."
NP! This is the last straw! I am sick of the bashing, the stereotypes and the absolute ignorance that you people constantly put out there. You paint horrible pictures of us and I will not stand for it anymore. I declare that from now on when anyone remotely tries to stereotype us, I will retaliate with a vengence, basically....I will bulldoze them. It is unacceptable, dispicable, I spit on you NP, I spit on you!












Texans are not cow herders, or cowboys, or anything like that, we are fully industrialized, civilized people! ;)
 

Navy Pride

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HTColeman said:
NP! This is the last straw! I am sick of the bashing, the stereotypes and the absolute ignorance that you people constantly put out there. You paint horrible pictures of us and I will not stand for it anymore. I declare that from now on when anyone remotely tries to stereotype us, I will retaliate with a vengence, basically....I will bulldoze them. It is unacceptable, dispicable, I spit on you NP, I spit on you!














Texans are not cow herders, or cowboys, or anything like that, we are fully industrialized, civilized people! ;)
HT, it was a joke......lighten up.......
 

cnredd

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Don't bother explaining HT...won't help...:shrug:
 

cherokee

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I have to admit that was funny....:lol:
 

Navy Pride

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Well if Naughty Nurse and Cherokee liked it that is good enough for me.......

You lighten up to redd.............
 
H

HTColeman

Navy Pride said:
Well if Naughty Nurse and Cherokee liked it that is good enough for me.......

You lighten up to redd.............
Redd, I've gotta try.

Okay, now look at my post, see it, are you with me?

Alright, at the end there is a smiley face winking, do you see that?

In american culture, winking means either
1) Lets hook up
or
2) Just pulling your leg, you know like *wink*wink* I'm kidding?

I think we can assume I don't want to hook up with you, so lets go with option 2. And I thought it was so clever...
 

Navy Pride

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HTColeman said:
Redd, I've gotta try.

Okay, now look at my post, see it, are you with me?

Alright, at the end there is a smiley face winking, do you see that?

In american culture, winking means either
1) Lets hook up
or
2) Just pulling your leg, you know like *wink*wink* I'm kidding?

I think we can assume I don't want to hook up with you, so lets go with option 2. And I thought it was so clever...
My Bad HT.it was a long day........
 

Naughty Nurse

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HTColeman said:
In american culture, winking means either
1) Lets hook up
or
2) Just pulling your leg, you know like *wink*wink* I'm kidding?
Hey HT ;)

Guess which kind of wink that is?
 
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