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The truth about fords.. (1 Viewer)

Jun 5, 2004
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I know some of you can relate to this...

A friend of mine decided that she was gonna annoy the heck out of her friend, and searched far and wide across the internet to compile all these insults, I thought it was something worth forwarding for once

Friends don't let friends drive Fords.

If all the vehicles in New Zealand were 'Built Ford Tough', the shoulders of New Zealand's highways would be a much more crowded place.

Have you driven over a Ford lately?

Have you outdriven a Ford lately?

This is Holden country and on quiet nights you can hear Fords rusting.

I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.

I'd rather push a Holden than drive a Ford.

Ford Escort me to a Holden dealer.

Buy a Ford and you buy the 'best'. Drive a mile and walk the rest.

SPEED KILLS - Drive a Ford and live forever.

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!"

Q: How do you double the value of a Ford?
A: Put gas in it.

Q: How is a golf ball different from a Ford?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q: Why are there footpaths beside streets?
A: So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

Ford Acronyms:

Found On Rubbish Dumps
Fix Or Repair Daily
Fails On Rainy Days
Fails On Race Day
Found On Roadside Dead
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Factory Ordered Rebuilt Datsun
Flip Over Read Directions
Four Old Rusted Doors
Ford Owner Really Dumb
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
For Off Road Death
Fords Only Run Downhill
Fat Old Rusted Dog
Freakin Old Rusted Dodge
Forget Out Running Dodge

Or in reverse...

Drivers Return On Foot
Don't Ride Over Fifty
Dodge Rules Over Ford

Pinto acronyms...

Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate

If one or more of these is true, unfortunately, you are driving a Ford...

You look in your rear-view mirror to see two people with their hands on your tailgate.
You constantly receive sympathy cards from the Department of Transportation.
When you are walking across the parking lot, you see a priest performing last rights on your car.
While stopped at traffic lights, other motorists offer to help push to get you started again.
You have preferred customer status at Appco Auto Parts.
You have to stop along side the road at least once a day to pick up parts that have fallen off.
You leave your keys in the ignition and a $20 bill on the dash for gas money in hopes that someone will steal your car.
When you drive though town, people stop what they are doing and just start laughing.
People try to hire you to bring your truck to their house to fog for mosquitos.
In place of a spare tire, you find a pair of running shoes
I pulled a Dodge 3/4 ton cummins out of the Mud on Sun then Tuesday I pulled a 1 ton Chevy railroad truck out of the mud :-o
Gotta love the powerstroke baby. I'll take my Ford any day and be pulling you boys out of the mud

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