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The struggle of being single

ClaraD said:
I would say date different people for awhile...don't look for a one person relationship, until you are comfortable with your new self and the idea of dating. You may surprise yourself with a few things....and you will not feel you missed out on anything. Dating takes time, so do relationships...and as you seen in my post...sometimes married people step on each other's toes...same is true for serious dating relationships. Love yourself first, then you can love others. I love my husband dearly and he loves me...and we have an age difference. However, both of us were a bit broken when we met...knowing how to overcome those broken parts and fixing them, took time. In over 10 years we have occasionally hurt each other's feelings...recently, I hurt his feelings...but I apologized and then explained myself(not the hurting of his feelings...that was uncalled for, but my reason for blowing up). He has hurt mine a few times in the past too....but he has apologized more than once for those occasions.
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I disagree with what I underlined. Unless things have changed, many, maybe most, women don't want to date a man who is playing the field with other women even if just dating. A lot of guys also want, will or can only date 1 woman at a time until it's run it's course. I think many people can't handle dating more than one - because dating 5 people at the same time it is 5 relationships at the same time. That is quite complex as 1 woman by be great in bed, but an awful person, but another might be sweet but slow to bed and maybe shy in bed etc. I don't think that type of competition is healthy as it most likely to either end up with the most dominating woman - or fleeing that then to the most submissive and regressive.

The OPer seems very old fashioned conventional, not a play the field sort of guy. His messages lack the confidence and independence for that, plus he might think himself to death. He overthinks things in my opinion. Less talk more action. Less thinking, more impulse.

If just dating one person it is a one person relationship. He reads like a date only one at a time guy, wanting a woman who a date one guy at a time type of gal. I don't think he has it in him to be a play the field with multiple women at the same time and certainly not a guy seeking lots of 1 night stands. That type of man has to be very proactive, secure in himself, and full ready to be frequently rejected, while not overly concerned if his or her feelings may be bruised.

The insecurity of his messages seems to suggest a high vulnerable to a woman who showers him with compliments, which he seems to greatly needs, while taking charge since it seems by his words he can't. In this, he could end up with a control freak who could become a very different personality negatively if she ever gets a locked down relationship. The first woman that comes along in a romantic sense, particularly if sexual, probably has him - good, bad or otherwise as he seems to equate a date with a marriage commitment.
 
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Poor choice of words on my end, I guess. I do have an update on this situation with the grandma. I'll have another thread going here in a moment.
 
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