ricksfolly
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2009
- Messages
- 2,236
- Reaction score
- 232
- Location
- Grand Junction, CO 81506
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Independent
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford
batteries.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
My ATM gave me an IOU!
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies
while she danced.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them
and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's
names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they
re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people
who made $1.5 trillion disappear!
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide
Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...
batteries.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
My ATM gave me an IOU!
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies
while she danced.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them
and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's
names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they
re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people
who made $1.5 trillion disappear!
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide
Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...