"The Ladies of Rhodes ... Haue made their petition to Cupid,
to plague you aboue all other, As one preiuditiall to their muliebritie."
—Thomas Kyd, Soliman and Perseda, 1592
I
The belle of the ball in Manassas
Was sweeter than blackstrap molasses—
A soft winsome drawl
Bewitched one and all—
Joe stallions, Joe colts and Jack asses.
II
A waitress I met in Kentucky
Was blue-plate and bluegrass and plucky.
She served double-dip
and got a big tip—
And when she got off I got lucky.
III
Two beat existentialist chicks
Had a cosmic commitment to kicks—
"Hare! Hare!" they cried
and then "Om" satisfied—
in the groove for their next bag of tricks.
IV
I once knew a girl from Detroit
Whose assets I tried to exploit—
But she was too wary,
too often contrary—
in the end she proved much too adroit.
V
There once was a girl in Saint-Lô
Who didn't know how to say No—
Her distinct expertise
lay in aiming to please—
and she expertly aimed high and low.
VI
A woman from old Takasaki
Warmed up on but three cups of saké—
Her koto cave purled,
Her kimono unfurled,
"Kampai!" said her tart nori-maki.
VII
I once knew a woman from Rome
who had set her heart on a gnome—
Rather pithy and short,
of a warm, fuzzy sort:
to wit, that "there's no place like home."
VIII
Oh, Sleni of the great Lummi Nation,
"Dream Beaver" by clan filiation—
She squatted ajar
and strummed her guitar—
From her breech-clout poured great lumination.
IX
An abstinent woman from Cork,
was reluctant to spoon or to fork.
But gently abetted
her appetite whetted
and soon after was willing to spork!
X
Although it is hard to believe,
there once was a woman called Eve—
First mother of all,
First cause of Man's Fall—
She invented maternity leave!
Other Volumes in this Series
https://www.debatepolitics.com/blog_callback.php?b=1502
https://www.debatepolitics.com/blog_callback.php?b=1500
https://www.debatepolitics.com/blog_callback.php?b=1496
to plague you aboue all other, As one preiuditiall to their muliebritie."
—Thomas Kyd, Soliman and Perseda, 1592
I
The belle of the ball in Manassas
Was sweeter than blackstrap molasses—
A soft winsome drawl
Bewitched one and all—
Joe stallions, Joe colts and Jack asses.
II
A waitress I met in Kentucky
Was blue-plate and bluegrass and plucky.
She served double-dip
and got a big tip—
And when she got off I got lucky.
III
Two beat existentialist chicks
Had a cosmic commitment to kicks—
"Hare! Hare!" they cried
and then "Om" satisfied—
in the groove for their next bag of tricks.
IV
I once knew a girl from Detroit
Whose assets I tried to exploit—
But she was too wary,
too often contrary—
in the end she proved much too adroit.
V
There once was a girl in Saint-Lô
Who didn't know how to say No—
Her distinct expertise
lay in aiming to please—
and she expertly aimed high and low.
VI
A woman from old Takasaki
Warmed up on but three cups of saké—
Her koto cave purled,
Her kimono unfurled,
"Kampai!" said her tart nori-maki.
VII
I once knew a woman from Rome
who had set her heart on a gnome—
Rather pithy and short,
of a warm, fuzzy sort:
to wit, that "there's no place like home."
VIII
Oh, Sleni of the great Lummi Nation,
"Dream Beaver" by clan filiation—
She squatted ajar
and strummed her guitar—
From her breech-clout poured great lumination.
IX
An abstinent woman from Cork,
was reluctant to spoon or to fork.
But gently abetted
her appetite whetted
and soon after was willing to spork!
X
Although it is hard to believe,
there once was a woman called Eve—
First mother of all,
First cause of Man's Fall—
She invented maternity leave!
Other Volumes in this Series
https://www.debatepolitics.com/blog_callback.php?b=1502
https://www.debatepolitics.com/blog_callback.php?b=1500
https://www.debatepolitics.com/blog_callback.php?b=1496
