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The mindless, meaningless, not insulting but really stupid thread response.

P_T

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^ use that to respond to the previous message or person. No insults ! its Stupid Comedy meanings ! Comedy is really dumb is the Threads root ! I will start it off !

^ Puts new bearing in his front wheels cause he hears tire noise. Tire guy says he needs new tires ! $500 later trades for a new F150, smiles cause both vehicles are great now !
 
An older, Lil Johnny now a white haired man
walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.
Lil Johnny said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and
brought another ring over.
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
Lil Johnny now "The Man," seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and
Lil Johnny, the man stated by check.

"I know you need to make sure the check is good,
so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and
I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned Lil Johnny.
"There's no money in that account."
"I know", said Lil Johnny, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
 
A taste of sucess!
 
"Lets take a walk this afternoon, the sun is so warm." TWSS

So I was looking for ward to a knap but OK! TWIT
 
Joe wants to get his beautiful wife Karen something nice for their first wedding anniversary.
So, he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone.
He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.
The next day Karen goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband,
"Hi Karen," he says "how do you like your new phone?"
She replies "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but
there's one thing I don't understand."
"What's that, baby?" Joe asks.
"How did you know I was at Wal- Mart?"
 
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of
nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
''They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.
"A Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied,
"No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then
lifted her foot and stomped them flat.
"Well," she said, "that may be OK in California, but we're not having any
of that **** in Arkansas."
 
A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. Harvy was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife Jill was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So Harvey says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill" Jill ignores the remark. A little later, Harvey takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to Jill while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez Jill, it really IS as wide as the grill! "Jill ignores this remark as well. Later that night while in bed, Harvey starts to feel frisky. Jill calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."

_____________________________________________________________
 
Two friends are at the first tee. The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend,
"Hey, why don't you try this ball?" He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can't lose it."
Paul replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!" Harv says, "I'm serious, you can't lose it."
"If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles,
and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it."
Obviously, Paul doesn't believe him, but Harv shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced.
Paul says, "Wow! That's incredible! Where did you get that ball?!"



"I found it."
 
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people
describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer,
“What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when
you’re out of the office?”
“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
 
Haha, that sounds like a classic case of "imagining versus knowing!" Imagining the fix versus knowing the real problem. But hey, at least you ended up with a shiny new truck in the end!
 
Reactions: P_T
I wake up and my dog is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth.
The rabbit's not bloody, just dirty. My neighbor's kids raise blue ribbon rabbits.

I instantly know it's one of theirs. I take the rabbit away from my dog, rush inside,
wash all the dirt off it before my neighbors come home. It was stiff but I've heard some
animals play dead when they are afraid, but I couldn't remember which ones.

I place it back in one of the cages in their back yard then I go back home.
Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming so I go out and ask them what's wrong?
They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in its cage"
 
Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'

Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'
 
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is"

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son....."Go fetch your mother."
 
 
Is a dark, misty rain night.
The Marine Private is at his first post & on guard duty
He can't see much with all the moisture on his glasses !

The General steps out of his home & taking His dog
for a walk.
The nervous Private snaps to attention,
makes a perfect salute, and
snaps; "Sir, Good Evening, Sir ! "

The General, is out for some relaxation,
Returns the salute and says,
"Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"

Private's not going to disagree with the General,
His glasses are fogged over with rain drops,
replies, "Sir, Yes Sir!".

The General continues,
"You know there's something about a stormy night
that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"

The Private didn't agree, he can't see ****!
& is just a private on guard duty.
"Sir, Yes Sir!"

The General's pointing at his dog,
"This is a Golden Retriever,
the best type of dog to train."

The Private glances at the dog but
still the rain, moisture and fog is so bad !
He just answers; "Sir, Yes Sir!"


The General continues
"I got this dog for my wife."
The Private simply says,
"Good trade Sir " !
 
Charlie M. gets home drunk, surely wasted & falls into bed.
He soon gets smacked in his head. His wife screaming
at him. Blurring tears in his eyes & double vision the least of
his troubles he hears his wife yell,
"Charlie, you SOB, wake up!! You've pissed in our sheets!"
 
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