The legal right to masturbate

[danarhea]

I haven't masturbated in more than 40 years, due to a dream relationship with a wonderful wife. But something I heard on the radio today got me pissed as hell. I was listening to a local talk radio show on KPRC 740 the other day, while I was driving, and there was this preacher on who was telling the listeners that masturbation should be illegal.

First of all, I was wondering that, if a law like that were passed, how they would enforce it. Have a "masturbation squad" to patrol the nation's bedrooms and bathrooms? So much for the 4th Amendment, but a law like this just won't happen. Now, if someone were masturbating on a plane, train, bus, public park, or the local courthouse, I can see them getting arrested. However, what we do in the privacy of our own homes is none of the government's damn business, and so far, in regard to this issue, I am really glad that the government agrees with me so far.

Secondly, there is a personal side to this too. Should something happen to my wife, God forbid, there is no way, at my age, that I am going to be able to get any. I am 60 years old, and I look it too. In that case, I would masturbate every day, and probably twice on Sundays too. In that case, paraphrasing Charlton Heston, I would say to this preacher "From my cold dead hands". LOL.

Oh yea, one more thing. I betcha dollars to donuts that this preacher will soon be caught with a dick in his mouth, and will have to come out as gay.

What does everybody else think about masturbation? Should it be illegal? Is it immoral? Does it make you need glasses? Should you refrain from masturbating while driving, or does it give you a third appendage to hold the steering wheel with, thus making your driving experience a safer one? I know, I know, silly questions, but not half as silly as that silly-assed preacher.

[/rant]:mrgreen:

 

[Goshin]

There's never any shortage of silly idiots on the radio.

 

[Slartibartfast]

I volunteer liberal avenger for masterbation squad duty.

 

[Wake]

Wow. Good luck enforcing that.

Like, everyone in the political spectrum is against that being illegal.

 

[AGENT J]

I haven't masturbated in more than 40 years, due to a dream relationship with a wonderful wife. But something I heard on the radio today got me pissed as hell. I was listening to a local talk radio show on KPRC 740 the other day, while I was driving, and there was this preacher on who was telling the listeners that masturbation should be illegal.

First of all, I was wondering that, if a law like that were passed, how they would enforce it. Have a "masturbation squad" to patrol the nation's bedrooms and bathrooms? So much for the 4th Amendment, but a law like this just won't happen. Now, if someone were masturbating on a plane, train, bus, public park, or the local courthouse, I can see them getting arrested. However, what we do in the privacy of our own homes is none of the government's damn business, and so far, in regard to this issue, I am really glad that the government agrees with me so far.

Secondly, there is a personal side to this too. Should something happen to my wife, God forbid, there is no way, at my age, that I am going to be able to get any. I am 60 years old, and I look it too. In that case, I would masturbate every day, and probably twice on Sundays too. In that case, paraphrasing Charlton Heston, I would say to this preacher "From my cold dead hands". LOL.

Oh yea, one more thing. I betcha dollars to donuts that this preacher will soon be caught with a dick in his mouth, and will have to come out as gay.

What does everybody else think about masturbation? Should it be illegal? Is it immoral? Does it make you need glasses? Should you refrain from masturbating while driving, or does it give you a third appendage to hold the steering wheel with, thus making your driving experience a safer one? I know, I know, silly questions, but not half as silly as that silly-assed preacher.

[/rant]:mrgreen:

:lamo

thanks for the laugh!!!!!!!
dollars to doughnuts WOW!

anyway masturbation is nobodys buisness and its also one of those things "over zealous" but less zealous people than this preacher you are toalking about like to "foget" is a sin

other convenient ones are curssing your parents, fornication (including sex with out the intent of a baby), adultery, and going to or being a fortune teller

now some of these arent totally FORGOT as sin but the fact that some of them have the penalty of DEATH is lmao

this is why mass religion always rubbed me the wrong way, live the whole book true to its word or shut the hell up when somebody else doesnt lol

oh yeah and for the record with or with out a women in my life no matter how good the sex is I avg once a day for sure! hahahaha

 

[sokpupet]

Just sayin'.

 

[Hicup]

St0000pid!


Tim-

 

[tryreading]

What does everybody else think about masturbation? Should it be illegal? Is it immoral? Does it make you need glasses?

[/rant]:mrgreen:

I can't read your post. Please use bigger text next time.

 

[Your Star]

its hrad to tpye wiht one hnad.....

 

[AGENT J]

its hrad to tpye wiht one hnad.....

I can give you a link to a store that sells . . . uhm . . . errr . . . "personal assistant devices" that may help you. You'll have use of both your hands but you may develop a typing stutterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrr

:lamo


wait was that creepy

 

[Jerry]

I haven't masturbated in more than 40 years, due to a dream relationship with a wonderful wife. But something I heard on the radio today got me pissed as hell. I was listening to a local talk radio show on KPRC 740 the other day, while I was driving, and there was this preacher on who was telling the listeners that masturbation should be illegal.

First of all, I was wondering that, if a law like that were passed, how they would enforce it. Have a "masturbation squad" to patrol the nation's bedrooms and bathrooms? So much for the 4th Amendment, but a law like this just won't happen. Now, if someone were masturbating on a plane, train, bus, public park, or the local courthouse, I can see them getting arrested. However, what we do in the privacy of our own homes is none of the government's damn business, and so far, in regard to this issue, I am really glad that the government agrees with me so far.

Secondly, there is a personal side to this too. Should something happen to my wife, God forbid, there is no way, at my age, that I am going to be able to get any. I am 60 years old, and I look it too. In that case, I would masturbate every day, and probably twice on Sundays too. In that case, paraphrasing Charlton Heston, I would say to this preacher "From my cold dead hands". LOL.

Oh yea, one more thing. I betcha dollars to donuts that this preacher will soon be caught with a dick in his mouth, and will have to come out as gay.

What does everybody else think about masturbation? Should it be illegal? Is it immoral? Does it make you need glasses? Should you refrain from masturbating while driving, or does it give you a third appendage to hold the steering wheel with, thus making your driving experience a safer one? I know, I know, silly questions, but not half as silly as that silly-assed preacher.

[/rant]:mrgreen:

That should be a social group...

 

[Aunt Spiker]

I haven't masturbated in more than 40 years, due to a dream relationship with a wonderful wife. But something I heard on the radio today got me pissed as hell. I was listening to a local talk radio show on KPRC 740 the other day, while I was driving, and there was this preacher on who was telling the listeners that masturbation should be illegal.

First of all, I was wondering that, if a law like that were passed, how they would enforce it. Have a "masturbation squad" to patrol the nation's bedrooms and bathrooms? So much for the 4th Amendment, but a law like this just won't happen. Now, if someone were masturbating on a plane, train, bus, public park, or the local courthouse, I can see them getting arrested. However, what we do in the privacy of our own homes is none of the government's damn business, and so far, in regard to this issue, I am really glad that the government agrees with me so far.

Secondly, there is a personal side to this too. Should something happen to my wife, God forbid, there is no way, at my age, that I am going to be able to get any. I am 60 years old, and I look it too. In that case, I would masturbate every day, and probably twice on Sundays too. In that case, paraphrasing Charlton Heston, I would say to this preacher "From my cold dead hands". LOL.

Oh yea, one more thing. I betcha dollars to donuts that this preacher will soon be caught with a dick in his mouth, and will have to come out as gay.

What does everybody else think about masturbation? Should it be illegal? Is it immoral? Does it make you need glasses? Should you refrain from masturbating while driving, or does it give you a third appendage to hold the steering wheel with, thus making your driving experience a safer one? I know, I know, silly questions, but not half as silly as that silly-assed preacher.

[/rant]:mrgreen:

He sounds like one of them there puritans.
They have a word for people like that - what's it? Oh yes - outdated.

 

[Albert Di Salvo]

I haven't masturbated in more than 40 years, due to a dream relationship with a wonderful wife. But something I heard on the radio today got me pissed as hell. I was listening to a local talk radio show on KPRC 740 the other day, while I was driving, and there was this preacher on who was telling the listeners that masturbation should be illegal.

First of all, I was wondering that, if a law like that were passed, how they would enforce it. Have a "masturbation squad" to patrol the nation's bedrooms and bathrooms? So much for the 4th Amendment, but a law like this just won't happen. Now, if someone were masturbating on a plane, train, bus, public park, or the local courthouse, I can see them getting arrested. However, what we do in the privacy of our own homes is none of the government's damn business, and so far, in regard to this issue, I am really glad that the government agrees with me so far.

Secondly, there is a personal side to this too. Should something happen to my wife, God forbid, there is no way, at my age, that I am going to be able to get any. I am 60 years old, and I look it too. In that case, I would masturbate every day, and probably twice on Sundays too. In that case, paraphrasing Charlton Heston, I would say to this preacher "From my cold dead hands". LOL.

Oh yea, one more thing. I betcha dollars to donuts that this preacher will soon be caught with a dick in his mouth, and will have to come out as gay.

What does everybody else think about masturbation? Should it be illegal? Is it immoral? Does it make you need glasses? Should you refrain from masturbating while driving, or does it give you a third appendage to hold the steering wheel with, thus making your driving experience a safer one? I know, I know, silly questions, but not half as silly as that silly-assed preacher.

[/rant]:mrgreen:

Chemical sterilization is the only answer for masturbation monkey syndrome. The alternative is the straight razor.

 

[marduc]

First of all, I was wondering that, if a law like that were passed, how they would enforce it.
:mrgreen:

mandatory fittings for the 12 birthday. females might be tougher to control, but I have no problems with letting the females continue.

 

[AGENT J]

mandatory fittings for the 12 birthday. females might be tougher to control, but I have no problems with letting the females continue.

12?
I would have had a whole year of freedom!

 

[marduc]

12?
I would have had a whole year of freedom!

Consider it an incentive period to motivate you to find a wife as quickly as you are legally able, so that she may assume possession of the key to remove it.

 

[Hicup]

I'm waiting for someone to come in here and say, that, "maybe this isn't such a bad idea"...

Masturbation is good for the economy!!!


Tim-

 

[Singularity]

I was listening to a local talk radio show on KPRC 740 the other day, while I was driving, and there was this preacher on who was telling the listeners that masturbation should be illegal.

Ironically, I was masturbating to that very same radio show. Betcha he didn't anticipate that happening!

 

[Goshin]

I think the guy is a bit extreme...

 

[Deuce]

From my sticky, chaffed hands.

 

[MKULTRABOY]

I'd be in jail...



masturbating.


:lol:

 

[Jetboogieman]

I'd be in jail...



masturbating.


:lol:

And i think you'll be getting some assistance, or giving it :2razz:

 

[Slartibartfast]

First of all, I was wondering that, if a law like that were passed, how they would enforce it. Have a "masturbation squad" to patrol the nation's bedrooms and bathrooms?

 

[molten_dragon]

You know, that Christine O'donnell chick is pretty cute.

We should all fight back against this anti-masturbation movement by masturbating to her picture.

Also, I loved the line 'you're supposed to please each other. If he can please himself, what am I in the picture for?'. Makes me think she must be quite the dead fish in the bedroom.

 

[Wolf_22]

What does everybody else think about masturbation? Should it be illegal? Is it immoral? Does it make you need glasses? Should you refrain from masturbating while driving, or does it give you a third appendage to hold the steering wheel with, thus making your driving experience a safer one? I know, I know, silly questions, but not half as silly as that silly-assed preacher.

I am a huge masturbation advocate.

the mental and physical benefits are numerous and can be different than the benefits from sex.
some find greater stress relief becuase they aren't concerned about their partners and can 'lose themselves' more easily. many people, a majority being women, report climaxing more often and quicker from masturbation than sex with partners

so even in a realtionship, you might still masturbate

masturbatino also teaches you about your body.
we all make jokes about self-love - but people who truly hates themselves, sometimes can't masturbate. same for people who have shame about their bodies and sexuality.
mastrubation not only allows you to figure out what stimuli you like, but to feel connected with your own body and sexuality.

masturbation si great for women. the more you orgasm, the easier it becomes. this is why women have multiple orgasms. once they start, they come faster and more frequently. a woman who masturbates regulary will have a better sex life.

and of course....no STD or pregnancy risk. (this is so great)