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The Irish...


DP Veteran
Jan 6, 2010
Reaction score
Political Leaning
Very Conservative
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my Godly lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too. I didn't know we had a choice."
A rabbi and a Catholic priest are having lunch in a restaurant. The priest's food arrives, a scrumptious-looking ham entrée. The priest attacks his lunch, savouring every bite of the ham. Noticing the rabbi eyeing him, he asks, "So tell me, Rabbi Goldblum, have you ever had any pork before?"
The rabbi hesitates. "Well, it's not for me to say..."
The priest pushes on. "Oh, c'mon, Rabbi. We're both men of God here. We can tell each other our sins. Nothing to it."
"Umm... well, yes, as a matter of fact, I did have pork once."
Smugly the priest teases him, "And a fine meat it was, wasn't it? Heheh."
"Yeah, I'll say."
A few moments pass. The rabbi asks the priest: "Tell me Father, have you ever had sex with a woman before?"
"Why of course... well, before I took holy orders, that is."
The rabbi smirks, "Sure beat the taste of pork, didn't it?"
Then there was the London forger, who one day accidentally made a batch of eighteen Pound notes. He put them aside, but over time he worried at the waste of ink and paper. One day he had the idea of going to Ireland and using them there. He jetted to Dublin and got a cab to Wolfe Tone quay. Reaching into his wallet, he turned to the cabbie and apologised for having no change, but only an eighteen pound note. Without a pause, the cabbie responded " What would you prefer sir, two nines, or three sixes?
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