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The Epilogue

October 3, 2014

So we buried mom yesterday in her home town . . . in a beautiful little cemetery called Memorial Gardens along with her mom, dad, two brothers, a brother-in-law and a sister . . . and where my ashes will be scattered when I join her.

Last Friday, we called a funeral home the family's used there for years. They arranged for her body to be picked up here at my home and took it to their facility -- where it had to be embalmed before it could cross state lines. By the time the Death Certificate and permits were obtained, it was Tuesday before she could be flown home.

We left for Kentucky on Tuesday. Wednesday was spent making all of the arrangements with the funeral home, the florist, the monument company. And Thursday she was waked and buried. She was sent on her final journey by three nieces, four nephews and their spouses, her brother and sister-in-law, two grand nephews, two friends of family, a preacher, two singers, Tom and I.

Her casket was beautiful, if I do say so myself . . . silver trimmed in chrome . . . a sparkly-girl 'til the end. My cousin Sue who spent sooo much time with her this last year was on vacation with family and didn't attend. Mom was glad she stayed in Florida.. She sent a beautiful blanket of shades-of-pink roses for her casket. Mom's name was Rose. Her casket was lined in a pale pink quilted satin, on the inside lid were soft pinkish red roses delicately embroidered. Her monument has a rose on each side of her name.

She wore a sparkly dark pink/grey blouse, a gift from Sue, black slacks, and sparkly little shoes, Tucked inside and unseen was a little pink sequined baseball cap of a hat with a Red Hat pin she loved to wear . . . and, right next to her, one of the roses from Sue's flower blanket.

All of the flowers sent by such thoughtful people were designed around that beautiful rose blanket. There weren't a lot, but they were lovely.

At the very beginning of the service, I played Goin' Home, the perfect hymn for mom, I know. A Bill Gaither arrangement. The preacher said some beautiful words after the one-hour wake, and six big strong handsome men carried her to the hearse. She always loved big strong handsome men. ;)

At the cemetery, they put up a little awning-of-a-thing and some chairs for me, Tom and her 77-year-old brother and his wife. The rest stood. We said a brief prayer. I took a picture of the closed casket to show Sue her beautiful flowers. And we left her with her loved ones.

We went to my cousin's house for some chicken, mashed potatoes, cole slaw, potato salad, a fruit salad and apple cobbler. In two hours, we hugged and kissed, cried one last time and said good-bye.

We drove home today.

If I really thought I'd left mom under the ground, I would have dug her up.
 
It sounds like a beautiful service, fit for the lovely, wonderful woman that you have shared so much about with us, a woman we all feel as if we now know. We, too, feel her loss. *hugs*
 
Your mom was and is very proud of the fine woman you've become Maggie, as witnessed by everything you've done for her in her time of need and at her passing. You've sent her off in style and I wouldn't have expected you to do any less.

I wish you peace and some comfort in the days to come - find some quiet time just to be with you and for you - you deserve it. Take care and we'll be waiting for your feisty, happy self to return soon.
 
May your mom rest in blessed peace and may your memories of her remain vibrant.
 
Sad to lose a parent and tears you apart. Does it ever seem to you like life is just one tragedy to the next?
 
Well, I can't say I agree with you, LifeIsShort. I've seen a great deal of sadness in my life . . . my husband passed away 15 years ago . . . my dad had a devastating stroke about 16 years ago and finally passed about six years ago . . . I've had two cancers . . . now mom has passed. But I've lived a blessed life. Sadness, sickness and death is a small part of it. And is the yin to the yang of a sunshiny day.
 
Hey Maggie. Sorry to hear about your mom. Even when someone is prepared for it it's a very difficult transition. I suspect it will take a while for you to adjust.
I love your attitude though and I agree with it. That will help alot. So many people are estranged from their parents, those who have even just a pleasant relationship are quite lucky. It sounds like you get that and are counting your blessings. Good for you.
Be well.
 
MaggieD;bt2849 said:
Well, I can't say I agree with you, LifeIsShort. I've seen a great deal of sadness in my life . . . my husband passed away 15 years ago . . . my dad had a devastating stroke about 16 years ago and finally passed about six years ago . . . I've had two cancers . . . now mom has passed. But I've lived a blessed life. Sadness, sickness and death is a small part of it. And is the yin to the yang of a sunshiny day.
You have a good attitude. Maybe I will snap out of it soon.
 
Prayers to ease your grieving, Maggie.

We just lost a good friend and my father-in-law on the same weekend so I know the feeling.
 
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. May light perpetual shine on your mom.
 
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Nicely done, Maggie. I'm sure your mom would be proud of you.
 
It sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate a woman who was obviously so loved.

Through this whole journey you have shared with us I have felt a certain kinship due to the circumstances with my own grandmother and now I find out that your mother's name is Rose....just like Nana.

May God bless you for all you have done.
 
Thank you for sharing this moving account. I'm very sorry to learn this sad news, Maggie. You have my fullest condolences.
 
Thanks for sharing, Maggie. My condolences to you and yours.
 
You never cease to amaze me, Mags. Sounds like a very nice ceremony.
 
I'm a little late to see this Maggie, but from my family to you and yours our sincerest condolences...Your mom must have been a great woman to raise such a smart and good person like you....Our prayers are with you.

John
 
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