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The End Times Are Here!

Madacapa

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I would like you all to read the following passages from the Holy Bible as proof that the End Times are here:

"For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. All these are the beginning of sorrows." (Matthew 24:7-8)

"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;" (Luke 21:25).

The recent disasters have led me to conclude that the end times prophesied in the Holy Bible are coming true. Now is the time to accept Jesus Christ as the Son of God.

Very soon all true Christians are going to be called up into Heaven.:aliens3:

Very soon the Anti-Christ will come, and it may be Hilliary Clinton.:devil:

Very soon the Terrorists will come down from Canada and World War III will begin.:blastem:

Join Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell today! Make your final contributions! Empty your bank accounts! Do it today before you are Left Behind!
 

tecoyah

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Madacapa said:
I would like you all to read the following passages from the Holy Bible as proof that the End Times are here:

"For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. All these are the beginning of sorrows." (Matthew 24:7-8)

"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;" (Luke 21:25).

The recent disasters have led me to conclude that the end times prophesied in the Holy Bible are coming true. Now is the time to accept Jesus Christ as the Son of God.

Very soon all true Christians are going to be called up into Heaven.:aliens3:

Very soon the Anti-Christ will come, and it may be Hilliary Clinton.:devil:

Very soon the Terrorists will come down from Canada and World War III will begin.:blastem:

Join Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell today! Make your final contributions! Empty your bank accounts! Do it today before you are Left Behind!
Sweeet....um....can I bypass the Robertson/Falwell route and just cut a check to the Big Guy. Pretty sure I have its address around here somewhere.
 

Madacapa

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tecoyah said:
Sweeet....um....can I bypass the Robertson/Falwell route and just cut a check to the Big Guy. Pretty sure I have its address around here somewhere.
NO! Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwel are God's divine representatives on Earth. All checks, cash, and stocks must go to them. Time is running out! Give now...or pay later!:2bigcry:
 

kal-el

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Madacapa said:
"For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. All these are the beginning of sorrows." (Matthew 24:7-8)

"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;" (Luke 21:25).

The recent disasters have led me to conclude that the end times prophesied in the Holy Bible are coming true. Now is the time to accept Jesus Christ as the Son of God.
I wouldn't doubt it, it seems we have natural disaters occuring rather freqently. The asian tsnumai, katrina, Rita, earthquakes, drenching downpours in the Northeast.

Very soon all true Christians are going to be called up into Heaven.
Is it only Christians? What about Jews, and Buddhists? And where exactly is heaven?

Very soon the Anti-Christ will come, and it may be Hilliary Clinton.
I think you should take a look a little closer to home,my friend. Ask yourself who's waging wars in the name of "God". As if he's doing his will.

Very soon the Terrorists will come down from Canada and World War III will begin.:blastem:
:rofl where the hell did you come up with this?

Join Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell today! Make your final contributions! Empty your bank accounts! Do it today before you are Left Behind!
You're kidding, right?:rofl Pat Robetson? Yea, he's a true Christian alright. I don't think I need to say more on that.:2razz:
 
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tecoyah

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Madacapa said:
NO! Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwel are God's divine representatives on Earth. All checks, cash, and stocks must go to them. Time is running out! Give now...or pay later!:2bigcry:
Well...don't that just suck. Last time I sent Falwell money, he used it to buy socks. And Robertson simply funneled it into a GOP fundraising dinner (I think it went towards the shrimp cocktails).
 

Madacapa

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kal-el said:
I wouldn't doubt it, it seems we have natural disaters occuring rather freqently. The asian tsnumai, katrina, Rita, earthquakes, drenching downpours in the Northeast.



Is it only Christians? What about Jews, and Buddhists? And where exactly is heaven?



I think you should take a look a little closer to home,my friend. Ask yourself who's waging wars in the name of "God". As if he's doing his will.



:rofl where the hell did you come up with this?



You're kidding, right?:rofl Pat Robetson? Yea, he's a true Christian alright. I don't think I need to say more on that.:2razz:
I will attempt to answer your questions, but I must hurry. The End is Here.

1) Not all Christians will be called to Heaven at the Rapture. Only Christians who follow the teachings of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell will be called. Registered Democrats are Hell-Bound! Needless to say, all non-Christians will remain on Earth.

2) Where is Heaven? It is located in the farthest reaches of the Universe. It is a physical location. It is Not some meta-physical state of mind. Do not listen to the Liberal Theologians.

3) How dare you question the will of Pat Robertson?! He is God's vessel on Earth!

4) I came up with this from Heaven, not Hell! REPENT! HE IS COMING! REPENT! HE IS HERE! :hammer:
 

tecoyah

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Help, I'm being left behind. :rofl
Don't worry about it...I have a Condo on the sixth level of hell....nice view of a brimstone lake, and we can take a dump on the Lawyers below us. I can sublet it to ya when I am walking the earth as a damned soul in Satans employ.
 

George_Washington

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lol I can see where you guys are coming from on this one. Some Protestants believe the book of Revelation predicts a rapture and all that...but Catholics don't believe in all that stuff. We accept the book of Revelations just as a poetic piece of literature rich with symbolism. We don't actually think millions of people are going to disappear one day :2razz:
 

Old and wise

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tecoyah said:
Don't worry about it...I have a Condo on the sixth level of hell....nice view of a brimstone lake, and we can take a dump on the Lawyers below us. I can sublet it to ya when I am walking the earth as a damned soul in Satans employ.
Thank you. You really put my mind at ease. Dump on all the lawyers? I like it.
 

Ryanmodcon

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wow, the bible predicted everyday natural disasters.

The end of time has been coming for 5 billion years I guess, before the bible was written or Jesus was born.
 

kal-el

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Madacapa said:
I will attempt to answer your questions, but I must hurry. The End is Here.
:rofl

1) Not all Christians will be called to Heaven at the Rapture. Only Christians who follow the teachings of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell will be called. Registered Democrats are Hell-Bound! Needless to say, all non-Christians will remain on Earth.
Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell? Dude, I sincerely hope you're kidding. Pat Robertson is a poser,and Jerry fallwell is a damn right-wing ideologue.

2) Where is Heaven? It is located in the farthest reaches of the Universe. It is a physical location. It is Not some meta-physical state of mind. Do not listen to the Liberal Theologians.
I agree with you here. Religious zealots tell me heaven is everywhere, you just can't see it, please, more bs, I suppose we all have a "soul" unique to each body?

3) How dare you question the will of Pat Robertson?! He is God's vessel on Earth!
I know you're kidding. If not, you need serious help man. Refresh my memory, what "Christian" called for an assasination on Hugo Chavez?

4) I came up with this from Heaven, not Hell! REPENT! HE IS COMING! REPENT! HE IS HERE! :hammer:
Who is here?
 

Canuck

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REPENT YOU HEATHENS

2012 is upon us
lol
 

Binyamin

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Madacapa said:
I would like you all to read the following passages from the Holy Bible as proof that the End Times are here:

"For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. All these are the beginning of sorrows." (Matthew 24:7-8)

"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;" (Luke 21:25).
I bet you they said the same during WWII
 

Madacapa

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Canuck said:
REPENT YOU HEATHENS

2012 is upon us
lol
Only Canuck has taken these words seriously. He will be saved, but the rest of you must repent and accept that Jesus is the Son of God! Only by saying these words out loud will God allow you to enter Heaven! Very soon He will send His son back to Earth! The Anti-Christ, in the form of Hilliary Clinton:devil:, will soon take over the Earth. REPENT! REPENT! MY EYES CAN NOT BEAR TO SEE THE WORDS OF THE UNBELIEVERS ON THIS THREAD! LISTEN TO THE WORDS OF PAT ROBERTSON AND JERRY FALWELL! NO! HE IS HERE! :bomb:
 

Thorgasm

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I thought Jack van Impe was God's vessel. Damn I guess I will just have to overthrow satan when I get to hell. Hell sounds like more fun anyway.
 

Madacapa

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independent_thinker2002 "I thought Jack van Impe was God's vessel. Damn I guess I will just have to overthrow satan when I get to hell. Hell sounds like more fun anyway. "

Old and wise "Is the sky falling yet?"

HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME?! HOW DARE YOU MAKE LIGHT OF THE END TIMES?! HE WILL COME TO JUDGE THE QUICK AND THE DEAD! HE WILL CAST YOUR SOUL INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE! YOU MUST HEED THE WARNINGS OF PAT ROBERTSON, JERRY FALWELL, AND JAMES DOBSON! HILLIARY CLINTON IS THE ANTI-CHRIST! BILL CLINTON IS HER SERVANT! THE DEMOCRATS ARE HER UNHOLY ARMY! REPENT! HE IS COMING!
 

kal-el

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Madacapa said:
HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME?! HOW DARE YOU MAKE LIGHT OF THE END TIMES?! HE WILL COME TO JUDGE THE QUICK AND THE DEAD! HE WILL CAST YOUR SOUL INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE! YOU MUST HEED THE WARNINGS OF PAT ROBERTSON, JERRY FALWELL, AND JAMES DOBSON! HILLIARY CLINTON IS THE ANTI-CHRIST! BILL CLINTON IS HER SERVANT! THE DEMOCRATS ARE HER UNHOLY ARMY! REPENT! HE IS COMING!
Dude, you sound like a broken record repeating Rush Limbaugh's moronic soundbytes in parrot fashion.
 

sissy-boy

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Madacapa said:
I would like you all to read the following passages from the Holy Bible as proof that the End Times are here:

"For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. All these are the beginning of sorrows." (Matthew 24:7-8)

"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;" (Luke 21:25).

The recent disasters have led me to conclude that the end times prophesied in the Holy Bible are coming true. Now is the time to accept Jesus Christ as the Son of God.

Very soon all true Christians are going to be called up into Heaven.:aliens3:

Very soon the Anti-Christ will come, and it may be Hilliary Clinton.:devil:

Very soon the Terrorists will come down from Canada and World War III will begin.:blastem:

Join Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell today! Make your final contributions! Empty your bank accounts! Do it today before you are Left Behind!

HAHA!!

That's pretty funny. But what's even FUNNIER is these idiots have been ranting and raving about the 'end times' for 2000 YEARS! I sure as Hell HOPE we're in the 'end times', I would really like to witness that stuff!!

Who's TRULY living in the end times is Robertson and Falwell -- they're living in the END of a horses ASS!
 
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