Aragorn
New member
QUESTION:
How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southern
Republicans?
ANSWER:
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock 23, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
DEMOCRAT ANSWER:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question. Does the man
look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the
kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have
the appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun
anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my
children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to Wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We
need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to confer with some friends for a few days
and try to come to a consensus.
REPUBLICAN ANSWER:
BANG!
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading a fresh magazine).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southern
Republicans?
ANSWER:
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock 23, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
DEMOCRAT ANSWER:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question. Does the man
look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the
kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have
the appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun
anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my
children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to Wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We
need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to confer with some friends for a few days
and try to come to a consensus.
REPUBLICAN ANSWER:
BANG!
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading a fresh magazine).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
