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Sorry, parents, you're overrated

Donkey1499 said:
Here's a link to a story written by Robin E. Blumner, the St. Petersburg Times' official leftwing nutjob. I think she's full of ****. But I'll let you other members decide.

http://www.sptimes.com/2006/05/14/Columns/Sorry__parents__you_r.shtml

Which part are you talking about? I hate women who think their children should be invited along with any invitation extended to the parents. My husband and I stopped inviting couples over for dinner who asked if their children could come. My house isn't childproof, and I don't have children. I remember my parents going to dinner parties regularly when I was growing up. I loved having a babysitter come to our house and hang out with us. No one seems to do that anymore? I have friends who won't attend a wedding if their children aren't invited? What? You can't spend a day, afternoon, evening without your children? Why would you even want them there? So you can watch them and NOT enjoy yourself?

Okay, enough about my rant. Are you talking about her discussion regarding the reduction in crime and abortion? I could see how that would bug someone. What if it's true? LOL
 
These are the same people who take their whinning children to movies and restaurants. Must kill!
 
Donkey1499 said:
Here's a link to a story written by Robin E. Blumner, the St. Petersburg Times' official leftwing nutjob. I think she's full of ****. But I'll let you other members decide.

http://www.sptimes.com/2006/05/14/Columns/Sorry__parents__you_r.shtml



I'm not sure exactly what about the article bugs you, but I will say it seems to give attachment parenting a bad rap.

For those who are interested in real info on this *style* of parenting, take the time to read a book or two by Dr Sears himself, but don't take this biased version away from the article and treat it as fact

That said, I totally agree with people holding parties, dinners, weddings etc where no children are allowed...........why the heck should everyone have to invite children?? I myself, mother of a dozen, have held no kiddo mom's night outs or nursing babies only mom's night out parties etc. It's not some evil bias against short folk to want an evening of adult only company imho.

Now there have been times over our years as parents this means we wouldn't have attended............not feeling slighted or angry because the wee ones weren't welcomed, but rather because it wasn't a good idea for us to leave X, Y or Z (or all of the above) with someone else at that exact moment...........insert whatever reason, but we take our job as parents seriously, so the kiddos come first. Usually this doesn't mean we can't get away, but there have been short seasons in time where that was in everyone's best interest and we've gone with it

When it comes to parenting, there aren't concrete rules..........including the concepts of attachment parenting..............but rather the concept of common sense ruling whenever possible. At times this means you do, say or are unpopular things.............temporarily or even permanently............and everyone else can sit on a pin. Parenting has never been a popularity contest, thank gawd lol
 
I don't want kids.


Thank god for medical advancements.
 
128shot said:
I don't want kids.


Thank god for medical advancements.


What a douche statement. :roll:
 
Centro Fino said:
What a douche statement. :roll:


Oh, I feel an offense coming on...here...wait...no, I just don't.

I just don't want to have kids as of late.
 
as a side note: it really bothers me when people will not allow children to go to weddings, especially children that are members of the family. weddings are a huge family even and there's no reason that any family member or friend should be excluded. planning the wedding so that there are things for the kids to do isnt that hard.
 
star2589 said:
as a side note: it really bothers me when people will not allow children to go to weddings, especially children that are members of the family. weddings are a huge family even and there's no reason that any family member or friend should be excluded. planning the wedding so that there are things for the kids to do isnt that hard.

It's one thing to have the bride's baby sister at the wedding, another thing for the bride's second cousin's neice, and another thing altogehter for children of random guests.

Heck, I invited a bunch of people to my wedding for the sole reason of having their kids come to the party so my wife's daughter wouldn't be alone. They thought the dance floor was one hell of a fun slide, I must say.

but it's the couple's wedding, it's their choice, of course.

Is the broad that wrote that column going to take a writing class someday, preferrably one that teaches focus and linearity?
 
star2589 said:
as a side note: it really bothers me when people will not allow children to go to weddings, especially children that are members of the family.

Agreed. Weddings are one of the most basic and universal social rituals, and as the basis of family relationships, they need to be held with children in mind.
 
aps said:
Which part are you talking about? I hate women who think their children should be invited along with any invitation extended to the parents. My husband and I stopped inviting couples over for dinner who asked if their children could come. My house isn't childproof, and I don't have children. I remember my parents going to dinner parties regularly when I was growing up. I loved having a babysitter come to our house and hang out with us. No one seems to do that anymore? I have friends who won't attend a wedding if their children aren't invited? What? You can't spend a day, afternoon, evening without your children? Why would you even want them there? So you can watch them and NOT enjoy yourself?

Okay, enough about my rant. Are you talking about her discussion regarding the reduction in crime and abortion? I could see how that would bug someone. What if it's true? LOL

I'm mad that Blumner would say that parents are overrated. I don't care that abortion is mentioned. Parenting isn't overrated.
 
Scarecrow Akhbar said:
It's one thing to have the bride's baby sister at the wedding, another thing for the bride's second cousin's neice, and another thing altogehter for children of random guests.

well, your talking to someone who knows several of her second cousins decently well. but the problem I see here would be inviting the second cousin's spouses's brother. that would be too distant, and without bringing the brother, bringing the baby would be a moot point. the way I see it is that the children of anyone who is close enough to be invited to the wedding, should also close enough to be invited to the wedding.
 
star2589 said:
well, your talking to someone who knows several of her second cousins decently well. but the problem I see here would be inviting the second cousin's spouses's brother. that would be too distant, and without bringing the brother, bringing the baby would be a moot point. the way I see it is that the children of anyone who is close enough to be invited to the wedding, should also close enough to be invited to the wedding.


I seriously doubt if anyone on this board has set up more receptions then me. I owned a bakery selling wedding cakes, after all.

Bottom line: The bride and groom control the guest list. Period. We can go back and forth over who should be invited, but it's their choice in the end.
 
I always make it very clear and give plenty of notice if I don't want children at an event. My house isn't baby proof and my yard ends in a 150ft cliff. So if I do have kids over I have to have someone who keeps an eye on that cliff. I dont' have small children so I dont' keep anything around to keep them amused, I dont' know why parents think it would be better to take their children to a house where they will not be able to have fun rather then get babysat. I think it's so selfish of the parents to do that to the kid.
 
Willow said:
I always make it very clear and give plenty of notice if I don't want children at an event. My house isn't baby proof and my yard ends in a 150ft cliff. So if I do have kids over I have to have someone who keeps an eye on that cliff. I dont' have small children so I dont' keep anything around to keep them amused, I dont' know why parents think it would be better to take their children to a house where they will not be able to have fun rather then get babysat. I think it's so selfish of the parents to do that to the kid.

Some parents don't have the option of simply getting a sitter...for instance, my husband and I will be taking our son everywhere with us for at least awhile, because we have no nearby family and I don't know a single person in this city other than him (we just moved here in November, and I'm a housewife). Some parents just aren't comfortable leaving their kids with a sitter....regardless, though, if you're bringing your child(ren) with you somewhere, bring an activity bag for them!! That's the one thing I have to give my sister in law credit for....when they come to visit, she at least remembers to bring a few toys for my nephew, which is great because I have NOTHING that is age appropriate for him. Now if only she would actually WATCH him while they're here....since I'm still pregnant, our house isn't exactly child proofed yet, and I always end up being the one trying to keep him out of things because she's too busy ignoring him!!
 
Whats the big deal...we attachment parent, homeschool, and are rather fond of our kids.....but you are damn right we like to go out once in awhile alone. That said, if a wedding states no kids and we arent going for that reason....its easy enough to sent a letter and a gift.....saying we regrettably cannot attend.
 
Scarecrow Akhbar said:
I seriously doubt if anyone on this board has set up more receptions then me. I owned a bakery selling wedding cakes, after all.

Bottom line: The bride and groom control the guest list. Period. We can go back and forth over who should be invited, but it's their choice in the end.

I second that. If you think kids should be at weddings, invite them to yours. Don't blame others cause they want a ceremony without screaming kids everywhere.

Mmmm...cake.
 
Exactly Tecoyah. if I give someone plenty of time and I always do and they still can't find anyone to watch their kids, I am not in the least bit offended if they dont' come. I would rather them not come then come, ignore their kids and have one of them fall off my cliff or get into trouble in my barn. I actually had one parent who told their kid (he's six) he could go into my hayloft by themself. I nixed that and they got offended. My barn is old and no longer in use. I dont' like to go up there myself. It's dangerous and will be torn down soon. And these were the same parents who couldnt' trust anyone to watch their kid. they were ticked at me. Now some people are great. My one friends boys have a fort going in my trees, my other friend's little girl has pumpkins growing in my garden and she likes to weed (and then when she leaves I put all the plants she pulls up back:lol: ) my other friends little girl will play my paino for hours, drives her mom crazy but doesn't bother me at all. I can ignore anything.
I know it can be hard to find a sitter especially in a new area, and if you are invited somewhere, I would assume the host knows the area and maybe could recommend someone (which if they're a good host they should do for new people in the area) or you could check to see if the local highschool has a list of teenagers who can babysit and have taken their first aid course and all that. But if you dont' want to find a sitter, or can't then dont' come, it's that simple, the choice is yours. You have every right to take your kid whereever you want but I have every right to not allow them at an adult get together.
 
I like to go out without my kids in tow however I don't always have a babysitter and will sometimes decline invitations where kids aren't welcome. I don't have other family living in this state with me and babysitters aren't all that easy to come by. By the time sitters are the right age you only have them for a couple years and then they go off and get a boyfriend and you got to find someone new. It's not as easy as one would expect. This statement:

"By the time a child is 7, I would hope that his parents would have left him with a babysitter at least 350 times - so they could enjoy an evening out together once a week at a minimum."

-completely absurd. I don't know any parents with young children that actually get a date night once a week let alone once a week minimum! Clearly she doesn't have a god damn clue.

Just as I wouldn't take offense at someone not inviting my kids I would expect that they not take offense at my declining the invitation. This lady apparently took such offense that she felt inclined to write an inflammatory article offering up the pros of abortion while berating those who like spending quality time with their children. Talk about a biatch.

Sir Alec As far as restaurants go....I take my kids out to eat all the time. I try to avoid Friday and Saturday nights when the restaurants are busy with people on first dates but other than that I don't see a problem. Mostly my kids are great but when they were younger they sometimes threw fits and they do have a tendancy to talk loud. So what...get over it. I can't stand people who grimace when they see kids on the plane or kids next to them in a restaurant. These people need to be brought down a notch and learn to get a grip on reality and handle life without being so freaking sensitive.

As for the whole abortion lowers crime spiel..... tons of flaws were found with the whole abortion crime study she is referring to so her claim that...

"there is no getting around the sense of it" is laughable.

But my favorite:

"You see? It doesn't much matter if you plop a kid in front of a television or you stay home with him in his formative years."

Yeah right. I can only imagine what this crazy loon would have thought of my breastfeeding. Who'd want to party with an uptight stick up her butt child hating a-hole like that anyway?:rofl
 
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talloulou said:
I can only imagine what this crazy loon would have thought of my breastfeeding.

This crazy loon is all for breastfeeding! In fact, I think it should be mandatory. With all of the crap on TV, I think it is time we had a breastfeeding channel.:rofl
 
I'm really surprised at how some of the moms here are so venomous against the writer of that article.
In her example, she threw the shower on a Sunday. Excepting some dads that may work retail or something, surely the vast majority would have been home with Jr. And the moms that really annoy me are the ones who won't leave their kids with their own fathers.
One thing no one touched on at all in their fightin words is expense. Throwing a shower, a wedding, etc., costs and those 7 year olds eat. When I had my wedding I made a point of no one under 13; I was simply not going to shell out money for more place settings and food that would end up uneaten, little 2 year old Wendy running around and eventually falling asleep under a table, etc. I got one guest, my aunt (who's crazier than hell anyway), threatening that we'd never see her and her family again if she wasn't allowed to bring her kids. Ok, see ya. She and my uncle showed up, kidless. In places where alcohol is served, as in weddings, it's best to leave the kids home.
Babies are actually easier to take along than toddlers and school age kids. They don't need constant stimulation, they won't eat and toss the food around and they sleep a lot. As babies, we took the twins almost everywhere. As children, we used babysitters. Now that they're 14, we just make sure to be home the same day we left.:mrgreen:
 
ngdawg said:
I'm really surprised at how some of the moms here are so venomous against the writer of that article.

The author of the article just comes off sounding like she's whining and biatching. Plus she is all over the place starting out discussing her desire to have kid free parties, branching off into abortion, and then glibly pointing out that parenting is pointless and how much or how little time you spend with your child is basically irrelevant.

If she had just written about how parents should respect kid free parties and not bring their kids to them then I'd agree with her wholeheartedly but she went off on so many tangents and managed to slighlty offend me at every turn. It's not easy to complain about wanting "kid free parties" while promoting abortion for reducing crime all in one article without causing some people to go..."O fwack you biatch."
 
Uh, she didn't say a word about 'promoting abortion to reduce crime', she mentioned an 'explosive chapter' of a book that to her made some sense. Doesn't mean she is backing it. (Reading into things not said is really a peeve of mine, could all y'all quit it and stick to the words in front of you, please?)
And it was her party being thrown, she can biatch if she wants to-the kid wasn't invited, it was stated NO KIDS and some self-righteous mom ignores it? I'd be more than just biatching....
Almost every kidless person I know thinks parents don't make a difference in a kid's upbringing and every kid I worked with showed conclusively it did. Studies and statistics can be found or bent to prove a point-in this case hers.
The baseline of all this is, get over yourselves, Parents. The kids won't burst into flames if teenage Betsy sits with them for a night. And Dad CAN watch the little rugrats when Mommy goes to a shower on a Sunday afternoon.

Stace: For the first year you can take the baby just about anywhere, so needing someone to watch him/her isn't a priority. Once the baby starts walking, it gets tougher as you have to be the resident restraint wherever you go,and be packing a playpen, portable seats, etc just for a day at a BBQ. If you really don't have any friends with teenagers that in two years would be willing to be a sitter, check out your local Girl Scouts chapters.
And if there are kids around say, 10 or 11 that you think you might trust, hire them for a day as a Mommy's helper-pushing the cart at the grocery, watching the baby on the floor while you fold clothes, etc. Works out great to have that extra bit of help a couple hours a day!
 
talloulou said:
As far as restaurants go....I take my kids out to eat all the time. I try to avoid Friday and Saturday nights when the restaurants are busy with people on first dates but other than that I don't see a problem. Mostly my kids are great but when they were younger they sometimes threw fits and they do have a tendancy to talk loud. So what...get over it. I can't stand people who grimace when they see kids on the plane or kids next to them in a restaurant. These people need to be brought down a notch and learn to get a grip on reality and handle life without being so freaking sensitive.

you need to find a restaurant like "old wives tales" in portland. its been one of my favourite restaurants sinse I was a kid. its not a fast food restaurant, but it has a playroom for kids. the food is good too. :2razz:
 
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