So, is it horrible that I'm not going?

[Henrin]

Right, and that needs to change. We need to have marriage actually mean marriage. Instead of absolutely nothing, which is what it means to most people.

The problem isn't that people don't respect marriage. but that they don't respect each other. If anything needs to change in this regard its how people interact and deal with situations in front of them. Well, that is my two cents at least.

 

[ChrisL]

The problem isn't that people don't respect marriage. but that they don't respect each other. If anything needs to change in this regard its how people interact and deal with situations in front of them. Well, that is my two cents at least.

Yeah speak for yourself. :mrgreen:

 

[Superfly]

Why do people care so much about other people's relationships anyway? Why can't people just let other people make their own decisions about their relationships and other such personal matters for themselves.

Like the nosy neighbor always peering over the fence to see what all their neighbors are doing, meanwhile his own wife is messing around. :lamo

:lol:



Gladys: Abner! Abner! The neighbors are living together without being married again!!
Abner: Go take your medicine, Gladys.

 

[spanky]

I thought you lived in kansas City?

 

[Sparkles]

Why do people care so much about other people's relationships anyway? Why can't people just let other people make their own decisions about their relationships and other such personal matters for themselves.

Like the nosy neighbor always peering over the fence to see what all their neighbors are doing, meanwhile his own wife is messing around. :lamo

You know, it's the weirdest thing. You know who is harmed the most by doing things the way that is being advocated on this forum? You girls. You know who argues the most for the way things being advocated on this forum? You girls.

Why is that? Guys love it the free-sex, anything goes, shack up relationships. They can screw as many women as they want, and it never bothers them.

You women are the ones who end up in counseling for 3 years. You women, are the ones messed up and harmed for life.

You say, why do I care? Why indeed. I have a friend, who have been in counseling for 3 years, because they shacked up with a guy, and he ditched her, and she shacked up with a second, and he ditched her, and with a third it lasted three years, and he picked a new girl to shack up with. I have friends who spent 4 years with a guy, and one day they came home and the house was empty. Striped bare, and they haven't heard from him since. I have another friend who bought a house, and a car, and things went bad, and the guy left with the car, and the girl was bankrupt. Couldn't afford the house, and couldn't afford the car note, and her life was over. I have another friend that the guy used her repeatedly, and then oops.... she has an STD and will have it for the rest of her life, and he's gone.

Why should I care indeed. Why should any of you care. Wrecked and damaged women, and who cares!! WHO GIVE A CRAP!

Well I do. I'm going to fight for what works best for you women, even if you hate me for it. Because G-d as my witness..... I CARE. If no one else does, that's on you. Any questions?

 

[Superfly]

I have a question. Are there no marriages where men cheat? You seem to blame all the problems on the men in the relationship - so why aren't you counseling men to shape up? Marriage is just a piece of paper. Relationships fail whether that piece of paper is there or not.

 

[ChrisL]

You know, it's the weirdest thing. You know who is harmed the most by doing things the way that is being advocated on this forum? You girls. You know who argues the most for the way things being advocated on this forum? You girls.

Why is that? Guys love it the free-sex, anything goes, shack up relationships. They can screw as many women as they want, and it never bothers them.

You women are the ones who end up in counseling for 3 years. You women, are the ones messed up and harmed for life.

You say, why do I care? Why indeed. I have a friend, who have been in counseling for 3 years, because they shacked up with a guy, and he ditched her, and she shacked up with a second, and he ditched her, and with a third it lasted three years, and he picked a new girl to shack up with. I have friends who spent 4 years with a guy, and one day they came home and the house was empty. Striped bare, and they haven't heard from him since. I have another friend who bought a house, and a car, and things went bad, and the guy left with the car, and the girl was bankrupt. Couldn't afford the house, and couldn't afford the car note, and her life was over. I have another friend that the guy used her repeatedly, and then oops.... she has an STD and will have it for the rest of her life, and he's gone.

Why should I care indeed. Why should any of you care. Wrecked and damaged women, and who cares!! WHO GIVE A CRAP!

Well I do. I'm going to fight for what works best for you women, even if you hate me for it. Because G-d as my witness..... I CARE. If no one else does, that's on you. Any questions?

Are you kidding? Women are PERFECTLY capable of choosing the type of relationship they want to be in. Quit treating us as if we're a bunch of helpless dummies. We know the score.

 

[Sparkles]

The problem isn't that people don't respect marriage. but that they don't respect each other. If anything needs to change in this regard its how people interact and deal with situations in front of them. Well, that is my two cents at least.

I would agree.... but the problem is you don't HAVE to respect each other. All marriages go through seasons. There are peaks and valleys. When couples go into the valleys, and you know you can just ditch the other person, then you'll do it.

The marriages that survive and reach that good point of love and caring and respect, is when you know there is no other way out. That divorce isn't an option. I know couples that said openly that the only reason they stayed together is because they were married, and made a vow of commitment.

This is why shackup relationships have 90% failure rate. They have nothing holding them together. He didn't make any real promise backed up by marriage. So things get tough, as they do with all people, and he says... I don't have to deal with this. I can ditch her and find another cheap easy girlfriend. And that's what happens.

 

[Sparkles]

Are you kidding? Women are PERFECTLY capable of choosing the type of relationship they want to be in. Quit treating us as if we're a bunch of helpless dummies. We know the score.

Right. You don't care. Got it.

 

[spanky]

You know, it's the weirdest thing. You know who is harmed the most by doing things the way that is being advocated on this forum? You girls. You know who argues the most for the way things being advocated on this forum? You girls.

Why is that? Guys love it the free-sex, anything goes, shack up relationships. They can screw as many women as they want, and it never bothers them.

You women are the ones who end up in counseling for 3 years. You women, are the ones messed up and harmed for life.

You say, why do I care? Why indeed. I have a friend, who have been in counseling for 3 years, because they shacked up with a guy, and he ditched her, and she shacked up with a second, and he ditched her, and with a third it lasted three years, and he picked a new girl to shack up with. I have friends who spent 4 years with a guy, and one day they came home and the house was empty. Striped bare, and they haven't heard from him since. I have another friend who bought a house, and a car, and things went bad, and the guy left with the car, and the girl was bankrupt. Couldn't afford the house, and couldn't afford the car note, and her life was over. I have another friend that the guy used her repeatedly, and then oops.... she has an STD and will have it for the rest of her life, and he's gone.

Why should I care indeed. Why should any of you care. Wrecked and damaged women, and who cares!! WHO GIVE A CRAP!

Well I do. I'm going to fight for what works best for you women, even if you hate me for it. Because G-d as my witness..... I CARE. If no one else does, that's on you. Any questions?

Do you live in Texas?

 

[ChrisL]

Right. You don't care. Got it.

What in the hell makes you think all women want to be married. Hate to burst your bubble, but that's just NOT the case. I have plenty of friends who are "shacked up," as you so eloquently worded it, and they have great relationships. I also have friends who got married and now divorced, so go figure.

I guess it actually depends upon the PEOPLE involved in the relationship and NOT the little piece of paper.

 

[Sparkles]

I have a question. Are there no marriages where men cheat? You seem to blame all the problems on the men in the relationship - so why aren't you counseling men to shape up? Marriage is just a piece of paper. Relationships fail whether that piece of paper is there or not.

Men have always wanted to do things the wrong way. Throughout all history. This is nothing new. I have smacked around numerous men for doing this. But the fact is, you women have the power in the relationship. If women give yourselves away, a man will be more than happy to take advantage of it. Men are not as commitment driven as women are. You offer sex without any cost, he'll take it.

If you women demanded that they marry you first, and commit to you first, they would. But to the modern male, a commitmentless relationship is a great deal. They don't have to commit. They don't have to make any promises. And if they want to find a more cute, more sexy, more attractive woman later, they can. No strings attached. They don't even have to feel bad about breaking a vow. And trust me, there will always be someone more cute, sexy and attractive than you.

The problem is, you women seem to think that a man should act like he's in a committed marriage relationship, when he isn't. That's because you women are faithful even in shack up relationships. You women treat being "boy-friend and girl-friend" like it has the same weight as marriage. Fact is, men don't have that. In the average male mind, he didn't commit to anything..... because...... he didn't commit to anything. You are a girl-friend, and he can find another girl-friend. That's exactly what they do, and then you women act like all men are scum.

No, you never had a real marriage, and thus he didn't act like he was married.

I had a co-worker friend two years back. He had shacked up with his girl friend. They were together for 2 years. He started telling me... you know... I just don't want to marry because you know... what if I find someone better? What if I find someone more sexy?

I smacked him around. The reason he was thinking that way is exactly because he wasn't married. The average life span of an unmarried move in relationship is 3 years. The first year is normally pretty good. The second, they typically start questioning the relationship. The third year they split up. Now, that's on average, but that's generally how it goes. He was following the typical pattern. I told him off, and that he should marry, and make a life with her, and shut up about finding someone else. Last I heard they were married, and still together.

So I don't stick it to the women all the time. Not by a long shot. But the issue is, you girls have the power in the relationship. I can yell at men all day, but if the women are giving themselves away for free, most men will take it. And again, you girls are the ones hurt by this. Not the men.

 

[Sparkles]

What in the hell makes you think all women want to be married. Hate to burst your bubble, but that's just NOT the case. I have plenty of friends who are "shacked up," as you so eloquently worded it, and they have great relationships. I also have friends who got married and now divorced, so go figure.

I guess it actually depends upon the PEOPLE involved in the relationship and NOT the little piece of paper.

Nah. I don't believe you. Not saying you are lying. Just don't believe it. I have tons of friends who are shacked up too, and they say they have a great relationship, but they don't. I can tell they don't, just by being around them. Again, all the research for the last 40 years, all consistently says, that shacked up couples are barely a fraction as happy as married people, and the statistics are that 90% of those relationship will fail, and the average is 3 years.

So you can say that, and you might believe it, but I know it's not true. 40 years of evidence suggests otherwise.

 

[Sparkles]

Do you live in Texas?

Nope. Columbus Ohio. Odd question, but hey. Any other questions?

 

[spanky]

Nope. Columbus Ohio. Odd question, but hey. Any other questions?

No.

....

 

[ChrisL]

Nah. I don't believe you. Not saying you are lying. Just don't believe it. I have tons of friends who are shacked up too, and they say they have a great relationship, but they don't. I can tell they don't, just by being around them. Again, all the research for the last 40 years, all consistently says, that shacked up couples are barely a fraction as happy as married people, and the statistics are that 90% of those relationship will fail, and the average is 3 years.

So you can say that, and you might believe it, but I know it's not true. 40 years of evidence suggests otherwise.

It depends on the people involved in a relationship. Good people do NOT need a marriage license to have a meaningful relationship. That is such an ignorant outlook and shows that you really don't know anything about relationships between people at all.

 

[Sparkles]

What in the hell makes you think all women want to be married. Hate to burst your bubble, but that's just NOT the case. I have plenty of friends who are "shacked up," as you so eloquently worded it, and they have great relationships. I also have friends who got married and now divorced, so go figure.

I guess it actually depends upon the PEOPLE involved in the relationship and NOT the little piece of paper.

I apologize for responding twice to the same post....

Why do I think all women want to be married? Because they want what marriage is. Like I said before, I had a friend who shacked up with a guy for three years, and he ditched her for a younger cuter girl.

I was talking with her, and asked why she did not marry. She said she didn't want marriage. So I asked:

Well then why are you upset he left?

Because I thought he was the one.

You mean like marriage?

No, I don't want marriage.

Then what does the 'one' mean?

Well, the one that would be dedicated to me.

Dedicated like marriage.

No, I don't want marriage. I mean that he would be committed to only me.

Committed like marriage.

No, but he said he loved me.

But did he back up what he said, with actions?

And she cried. Because he didn't, and she knew it now. And I really cared for this girl.

Now there are girls that want to be single. And if you want to be single, then not getting married is fine.

But the fact is, most girls want what marriage is, even if they claim to not want marriage. However you simply will not ever get a "marriage like" relationship, without marriage. Hate to be the messenger of bad news, but you can't get there from here. Just a fact of life. You will never have a relationship that is like a marriage, without marriage. Doesn't work. Never has, never will.

 

[Sparkles]

It depends on the people involved in a relationship. Good people do NOT need a marriage license to have a meaningful relationship. That is such an ignorant outlook and shows that you really don't know anything about relationships between people at all.

Yeah, and 40 years of consistent research is all wrong, and the world is flat.

Look, you refuse to accept the truth, that's fine. But all the research shows what I said to be true. You can deny it, but it's the truth. If you have a better plan.... GO FOR IT! Do whatever you want! What do I care? I'm not the one in counseling for 3 years. I'm not the one who's shack up partner ditched me after I gave them years and years of my life.

You got a better plan? Good luck. Best to you. For all the other girls here, that don't want to the pain and suffering shacking up always leads to, hear my words, and avoid this. I care enough to tell you the truth.

 

[ChrisL]

I apologize for responding twice to the same post....

Why do I think all women want to be married? Because they want what marriage is. Like I said before, I had a friend who shacked up with a guy for three years, and he ditched her for a younger cuter girl.

I was talking with her, and asked why she did not marry. She said she didn't want marriage. So I asked:

Well then why are you upset he left?

Because I thought he was the one.

You mean like marriage?

No, I don't want marriage.

Then what does the 'one' mean?

Well, the one that would be dedicated to me.

Dedicated like marriage.

No, I don't want marriage. I mean that he would be committed to only me.

Committed like marriage.

No, but he said he loved me.

But did he back up what he said, with actions?

And she cried. Because he didn't, and she knew it now. And I really cared for this girl.

Now there are girls that want to be single. And if you want to be single, then not getting married is fine.

But the fact is, most girls want what marriage is, even if they claim to not want marriage. However you simply will not ever get a "marriage like" relationship, without marriage. Hate to be the messenger of bad news, but you can't get there from here. Just a fact of life. You will never have a relationship that is like a marriage, without marriage. Doesn't work. Never has, never will.

That's just dumb. I've seen it work. I know a couple (the wife is a very good friend of mine since childhood) who have been together for 25 years. No marriage. They are still adore each other (enough to make you sick actually) like newly weds and are still very much in love. They love, care about and respect each other, and they don't need a marriage certificate to tell them that.

Besides, women are adults and are quite capable of making their own personal decisions.

Edit: Look, I even called her his "wife" by mistake, because it IS like they are married. They've been together since she was a freshman in high school, and he was a junior.

 

[ChrisL]

Yeah, and 40 years of consistent research is all wrong, and the world is flat.

Look, you refuse to accept the truth, that's fine. But all the research shows what I said to be true. You can deny it, but it's the truth. If you have a better plan.... GO FOR IT! Do whatever you want! What do I care? I'm not the one in counseling for 3 years. I'm not the one who's shack up partner ditched me after I gave them years and years of my life.

You got a better plan? Good luck. Best to you. For all the other girls here, that don't want to the pain and suffering shacking up always leads to, hear my words, and avoid this. I care enough to tell you the truth.

Good God, what a drama queen. :roll:

 

[Superfly]

This is why shackup relationships have 90% failure rate. They have nothing holding them together. He didn't make any real promise backed up by marriage. So things get tough, as they do with all people, and he says... I don't have to deal with this. I can ditch her and find another cheap easy girlfriend. And that's what happens.

Where did you get 90%?

 

[Superfly]

Men have always wanted to do things the wrong way. Throughout all history. This is nothing new. I have smacked around numerous men for doing this. But the fact is, you women have the power in the relationship. If women give yourselves away, a man will be more than happy to take advantage of it. Men are not as commitment driven as women are. You offer sex without any cost, he'll take it.

If you women demanded that they marry you first, and commit to you first, they would. But to the modern male, a commitmentless relationship is a great deal. They don't have to commit. They don't have to make any promises. And if they want to find a more cute, more sexy, more attractive woman later, they can. No strings attached. They don't even have to feel bad about breaking a vow. And trust me, there will always be someone more cute, sexy and attractive than you.

The problem is, you women seem to think that a man should act like he's in a committed marriage relationship, when he isn't. That's because you women are faithful even in shack up relationships. You women treat being "boy-friend and girl-friend" like it has the same weight as marriage. Fact is, men don't have that. In the average male mind, he didn't commit to anything..... because...... he didn't commit to anything. You are a girl-friend, and he can find another girl-friend. That's exactly what they do, and then you women act like all men are scum.

No, you never had a real marriage, and thus he didn't act like he was married.

I had a co-worker friend two years back. He had shacked up with his girl friend. They were together for 2 years. He started telling me... you know... I just don't want to marry because you know... what if I find someone better? What if I find someone more sexy?

I smacked him around. The reason he was thinking that way is exactly because he wasn't married. The average life span of an unmarried move in relationship is 3 years. The first year is normally pretty good. The second, they typically start questioning the relationship. The third year they split up. Now, that's on average, but that's generally how it goes. He was following the typical pattern. I told him off, and that he should marry, and make a life with her, and shut up about finding someone else. Last I heard they were married, and still together.

So I don't stick it to the women all the time. Not by a long shot. But the issue is, you girls have the power in the relationship. I can yell at men all day, but if the women are giving themselves away for free, most men will take it. And again, you girls are the ones hurt by this. Not the men.

I wasn't hurt when I was single. I like sex. So sue me. I ****ed around. I wanted to taste the milk before I bought the cow. I am a woman. :shrug:

Also - did you literally smack men around, or figuratively? Because I'm wondering why you think it's OK to use physical violence against someone, but it's not OK to **** someone without a piece of paper.

 

[DiAnna]

You know, it's the weirdest thing. You know who is harmed the most by doing things the way that is being advocated on this forum? You girls. You know who argues the most for the way things being advocated on this forum? You girls.

Why is that? Guys love it the free-sex, anything goes, shack up relationships. They can screw as many women as they want, and it never bothers them.

You women are the ones who end up in counseling for 3 years. You women, are the ones messed up and harmed for life.

You say, why do I care? Why indeed. I have a friend, who have been in counseling for 3 years, because they shacked up with a guy, and he ditched her, and she shacked up with a second, and he ditched her, and with a third it lasted three years, and he picked a new girl to shack up with. I have friends who spent 4 years with a guy, and one day they came home and the house was empty. Striped bare, and they haven't heard from him since. I have another friend who bought a house, and a car, and things went bad, and the guy left with the car, and the girl was bankrupt. Couldn't afford the house, and couldn't afford the car note, and her life was over. I have another friend that the guy used her repeatedly, and then oops.... she has an STD and will have it for the rest of her life, and he's gone.

Why should I care indeed. Why should any of you care. Wrecked and damaged women, and who cares!! WHO GIVE A CRAP!

Well I do. I'm going to fight for what works best for you women, even if you hate me for it. Because G-d as my witness..... I CARE. If no one else does, that's on you. Any questions?

 

[ChrisL]

:lamo OMG Di! That is hysterical!

 

[Bob Blaylock]

Right, and that needs to change. We need to have marriage actually mean marriage. Instead of absolutely nothing, which is what it means to most people.

Or worse, such as…

Most adults know how to use birth control and avoid STDs and we're having more fun and better relationships than the people who consider marriage a form of long-term prostitution.

The characterization of genuine, committed-for-life marriage as “a form of long-term prostitution” isn't even shocking by the standards of our culture, which only goes to show how degraded our culture has become. It's no wonder that we have such a high rate of divorce, infidelity, bastardy, general acceptance of all forms of sexual immorality, and now, “gay marriage”, and all the ills that these are bringing upon our society. It is all part of the same evil.