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Skippy's List of 213 things not to do in the US Army.

shuamort

Pundit-licious
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Skippy's List:

Explanations of these events:
a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended.
b) I witnessed another soldier do it.
c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do.
d) Was the result of a clarification of the above.
e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened.
Some of my favorites (follow the link above for the full list)

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.

39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.

47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.

91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.

129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders

151. The proper way to report to my Commander is “Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir” not “You can't prove a thing!”

156. I will no longer perform “lap-dances” while in uniform.

157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.

162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
 

ShamMol

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hey, that paper clip got me where i am today!
 

labwitch

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ShamMol said:
hey, that paper clip got me where i am today!
really? the black magic got me where i am today, stuck in the morgue and lab cleaning up other people's screwed up murders. ;)
 
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