Should you have to work at marriage?

[Slartibartfast]

Men have no options as far as hair loss is concerned?

Rogaine, Just For Men, et al say otherwise, no?

 

[1069]

except we can do something about being fat. my husband has kept his hair buzzed closely for quite a few years, i love the look. bald can be very sexy.

I doubt most women can "do something about being fat", or else they would, instead of pissing and moaning their lives away about it.
Men can "do something" about being bald, too; they can have hair transplants or something.
In all reality, though, the average person won't do anything about either one, except- as I said- piss and moan their life away.

 

[b.larset]

My wife says," I need to listen to her more. So I do. Then she says I need to be more sympathetic.
I try to be kinder now. Then I was informed that I spend to much time away from home when I should be here with her. So after several other attempts at meeting her needs and becoming the man she needs and wants. I asked my brother, he said ," not worry to much about it, it seems to be a trait a lot of women have he said , " I think they get it from playin with dolls. they move their heads and arms, legs and bodys around and dress em and play with them and when they grow up they think they can do that to us".

 

[American]

I think that if you're doing it right, it shouldn't be that hard. That's what I concluded after 12 years of the most miserable marriage, ever. Some things just shouldn't be that hard.

So, when I started dating again, I looked for someone easy.

Divorce sucks!!

 

[American]

Put that on your dingaling, maybe it'll grow.

 

[1069]

Divorce sucks!!

Hear, hear. Especially when kids are involved.
It's goddamned expensive.

 

[Catz Part Deux]

Divorce sucks!!

You ain't lying. But sometimes, it sucks less than staying married to a cheating, lying sumbitch.

 

[Objective Voice]

My wife and I spent about 3-4 months fighting when we first started living together. Mainly this was an adjustment period as both of us needed to change our habits to accomidate the fact that it was just a single person. Those first few months were almost always either fighting or other activities. However, she learned to be direct with me and I learned to act like it was more than just me at stake.

Then there's your answer right there! You did have to work at it and you're still "working" at it now by being willing to compromise.

I'm on my second marriage and even it has had its share of ups and downs (believe me!), but I can say I'm happy. Couples will struggle from time to time; it's normal and to be expected. I think Commoncents said it best:

Marriage is a constant lesson in life. Times change. People change. Values change. The willingness to adapt to change will indeed require work no matter how great your S.O. is or how great you think you are for each other IMHO. No one can predict the future all you can do is deal with it as it becomes the present.

There will always be something the two of you will have to contend with. How you handle the situation together will greatly depend on how meaningful your marriage will be...and how long it will last. Because believe me when I say everything changes with time. How you as a couple change with the passage of time will make all the difference.

 

[smartin]

I agree.

"Some people want to do the heavy lifting to get out of a relationship instead of doing the heavy lifting to stay in a relationship."

~smartin

 

[BamaBrat]

Something that was said in my marriage ceremony sticks in my mind all the time. The minister said... It's not so much about finding the right partner as it is about BEING the right partner. To me that says... Love isn't enough to make a marriage work for a lifetime, even though you have to have that at the root of your relationship. Lifetime committment takes not only love and finding your "soulmate" (whatever that means to you), but it takes compassion, forgiveness, friendship, loyalty and a big committment to making it work. You have to have the ability to change and adapt, because life changes all the time. That, to me, is what is meant by "work".

 

[Cameron]

Maybe its just my experience in this, but so far my marriage has been pretty much great from day 1. I haven't really had to work at it and my wife tells me that she doesn't either. We are both quite happy and don't really put any special effort into it while having an absolutely wonderful time, pretty much all the time, unless one of us is cranky due to some outside influence.

I have heard from multiple people that will outright say that there is something wrong with a marriage if you don't have to work at it. That marriage should be a challenge sometimes to keep you on your toes. Whats your opinion?

I think it depends. I think all a successful marriage requires is (1) common interest, (2) communication, and (3) appreciation. Obviously, you either have the first or you don't - I'm not sure you can "work" on liking the same things as your significant other.

However, the other two may involve some "work." To many people, communicating and showing affection are difficult, no matter how much they love their significant others. To others, perhaps including yourself and your wife, these things might come naturally, without you even having to think about.