Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behaviors?

[Hypersonic]

I know this is controversial but by "deviant behavior" I'm referring to gays, lesbians, transgendered, targeting certain people who knowingly knows the person does not share their orientation. I call it deviate because such behaviors are a deviation from honesty with the intent to "don't knock it until you try it." There have been several hate crime attacks all because 1) The victim was not forthright with their orientation 2) The victim became the victim of circumstance because of the person was truly evil and homophobic. On a personal level I tend to run into this myself, and I just find it rude that gay men know I'm heterosexual but they push the issue. This is why I refrain from going to gay clubs because I'm sure there is one that would want to try and "turn me gay." So far with these hate crimes I'm not hearing anything from the community in being honest outright of their sexuality, because dishonesty is starting to get people killed.

 

[digsbe]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

I don't think any community should take responsibility for the certain actions of individuals that may identify with them.

 

[Mr. Invisible]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

I know this is controversial but by "deviant behavior" I'm referring to gays, lesbians, transgendered, targeting certain people who knowingly knows the person does not share their orientation. I call it deviate because such behaviors are a deviation from honesty with the intent to "don't knock it until you try it." There have been several hate crime attacks all because 1) The victim was not forthright with their orientation 2) The victim became the victim of circumstance because of the person was truly evil and homophobic. On a personal level I tend to run into this myself, and I just find it rude that gay men know I'm heterosexual but they push the issue. This is why I refrain from going to gay clubs because I'm sure there is one that would want to try and "turn me gay." So far with these hate crimes I'm not hearing anything from the community in being honest outright of their sexuality, because dishonesty is starting to get people killed.

Last time I checked, I am not responsible for anyone else's actions besides my own.

 

[ttwtt78640]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

I know this is controversial but by "deviant behavior" I'm referring to gays, lesbians, transgendered, targeting certain people who knowingly knows the person does not share their orientation. I call it deviate because such behaviors are a deviation from honesty with the intent to "don't knock it until you try it." There have been several hate crime attacks all because 1) The victim was not forthright with their orientation 2) The victim became the victim of circumstance because of the person was truly evil and homophobic. On a personal level I tend to run into this myself, and I just find it rude that gay men know I'm heterosexual but they push the issue. This is why I refrain from going to gay clubs because I'm sure there is one that would want to try and "turn me gay." So far with these hate crimes I'm not hearing anything from the community in being honest outright of their sexuality, because dishonesty is starting to get people killed.

How does this differ from heterosexual men "hitting on" women that have expressed no interest in them? Can you not politely, yet firmly, express your lack of desire for their continued sexual advances?

 

[ttwtt78640]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

I don't think any community should take responsibility for the certain actions of individuals that may identify with them.

Good point. While I may offer advice to a friend, I would not be so inclined for a stranger. However, should I see bullying, harassment or intimidation I may choose to try to stop it.

 

[ecofarm]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

This is why I refrain from going to gay clubs because I'm sure there is one that would want to try and "turn me gay."

You avoid places because you're worried about being 'turned gay'? If I were you, I stay away from Broadway and fashion shows as well, just to be safe.

 

[What if...?]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

How does this differ from heterosexual men "hitting on" women that have expressed no interest in them? Can you not politely, yet firmly, express your lack of desire for their continued sexual advances?

I've repeated since an old drag queen told me that every man needs to get dressed up nice and go to a gay bar at least once in their lives.

So they experience what women experience all the time.

Persistent unwanted attention.

 

[ttwtt78640]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

I've repeated since an old drag queen told me that every man needs to get dressed up nice and go to a gay bar at least once in their lives.

So they experience what women experience all the time.

Persistent unwanted attention.

That reminds me of a friend of mine that said that he thought that I was a potential homosexual. I asked him what made him think so and he then asked me if I'd ever giving a man a blowjob. I said no and he then assured me that I was a potential homosexual. I asked him how that could be and then he said that he had given a man a blowjob and did not like it at all, so he knew that he was not a homosexual but, since I had not done so, then I just might like it.

 

[APACHERAT]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

You avoid places because you're worried about being 'turned gay'? If I were you, I stay away from Broadway and fashion shows as well, just to be safe.

I would also add to that list, stay away from Air Force bases and the U.S. Navy.

 

[Slyfox696]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

I know this is controversial but by "deviant behavior" I'm referring to gays, lesbians, transgendered, targeting certain people who knowingly knows the person does not share their orientation. I call it deviate because such behaviors are a deviation from honesty with the intent to "don't knock it until you try it." There have been several hate crime attacks all because 1) The victim was not forthright with their orientation 2) The victim became the victim of circumstance because of the person was truly evil and homophobic. On a personal level I tend to run into this myself, and I just find it rude that gay men know I'm heterosexual but they push the issue. This is why I refrain from going to gay clubs because I'm sure there is one that would want to try and "turn me gay." So far with these hate crimes I'm not hearing anything from the community in being honest outright of their sexuality, because dishonesty is starting to get people killed.

Gay people should take the blame for you hanging around gay people who find you attractive? Or are you saying gay people should take the blame for other gay people being the victims of violence?

I'm sorry, I was have a hard time understanding your point.

 

[winston53660]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

One time staying with my Uncle and his boyfriend in New Orleans they had a party. It was mostly gay and this one drunk gay guy got a crush on me. All night long he was chasing me and being very forward about it. The drunker he got the ruder he got. I finally went off on him using the F word numerous times. Julian my uncle's boyfrind was laughing his ass off and he said "i was just waiting for that." We were both cracking up.

 

[Hypersonic]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

Last time I checked, I am not responsible for anyone else's actions besides my own.

Perhaps responsibility is a poor word choice but there ought to be some form of discussion where leaders should dissuade this behavior. Yes we aren't responsibile foe those in our community but I think especially since homophobia still exist we ought to discuss behavior that can lead to an unfortunate hate crime.

 

[Slyfox696]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

Perhaps responsibility is a poor word choice but there ought to be some form of discussion where leaders should dissuade this behavior. Yes we aren't responsibile foe those in our community but I think especially since homophobia still exist we ought to discuss behavior that can lead to an unfortunate hate crime.

What you're talking about has nothing to do with homosexual men. It has to do with homophobia and a society which encourages men to "pursue" the object of their desires.

 

[Hypersonic]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

How does this differ from heterosexual men "hitting on" women that have expressed no interest in them? Can you not politely, yet firmly, express your lack of desire for their continued sexual advances?

Well any aggressive behavior that exceeds boundaries where consent was not present nor is the act encouraged, is undoubtedly wrong. I hold the same contempt if it were heterosexual men pushing on lesbians. The point is the issue needs to be discussed. Hate crime is wrong period, but certain people in society are a certain way where if they feel misled or violated, they may act hostile. As in the recent case of the transgendered that was killed after the guy on their honeymoon found out his wife had a penis. Like I said I don't condone violence on matters even matters of deceit, but this type of misleading is common in the LGBT community. Even gay friends of mine have this Freudian idea of men having inner sexual attraction towards each other, however I find such ideas (if they are true) dangerous.

 

[Hypersonic]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

What you're talking about has nothing to do with homosexual men. It has to do with homophobia and a society which encourages men to "pursue" the object of their desires.

Interesting. So where does homophobia come into play where a heterosexual displays "typical heterosexual behavior" yet the person whom is homosexual, decides to disregard their orientation and pursues them? I fail to see homophobia in that regard. I find that a lack of honesty and respect regardless of orientation ought to be met with the same fervent mindset.

 

[Slyfox696]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

Interesting. So where does homophobia come into play where a heterosexual displays "typical heterosexual behavior" yet the person whom is homosexual, decides to disregard their orientation and pursues them?

The violent part. If a homosexual man pursues a heterosexual man who does not want it, how is that any different than when heterosexual men pursue women who do not want it?

I fail to see homophobia in that regard.

Because you said the violence was caused because one man was homosexual. I've had gay guys hit on me, and I've never attacked any of them. I tell them I'm not interested and if it's still a problem, I remove myself from the situation.

I find that a lack of honesty and respect regardless of orientation ought to be met with the same fervent mindset.

What lack of honesty? If a homosexual man is hitting on you, about what is he being dishonest?

 

[Hypersonic]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

You avoid places because you're worried about being 'turned gay'? If I were you, I stay away from Broadway and fashion shows as well, just to be safe.

No. As I clearly indicated, I avoid those clubs because there is a lack of regard for personal space, as I go by my own personal experience. I am flattered gay men are attracted to me, but it's one thing to be flattered by compliments, it's another to be pursued. I mean if I make references to boobs and ass and display no since of bicuriousity or homosexual tendencies that ought to be a clear indication to gay men that I am not homosexual or at least it ought to be.

 

[ttwtt78640]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

Well any aggressive behavior that exceeds boundaries where consent was not present nor is the act encouraged, is undoubtedly wrong. I hold the same contempt if it were heterosexual men pushing on lesbians. The point is the issue needs to be discussed. Hate crime is wrong period, but certain people in society are a certain way where if they feel misled or violated, they may act hostile. As in the recent case of the transgendered that was killed after the guy on their honeymoon found out his wife had a penis. Like I said I don't condone violence on matters even matters of deceit, but this type of misleading is common in the LGBT community. Even gay friends of mine have this Freudian idea of men having inner sexual attraction towards each other, however I find such ideas (if they are true) dangerous.

I see that you continue to focus on sexual orientation rather than simply all advances of a sexual nature. That is commonly refered to as either homophobia or bigotry. Clean up your own backyard, before commenting on those of others. ;

 

[opendebate]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

I know this is controversial but by "deviant behavior" I'm referring to gays, lesbians, transgendered, targeting certain people who knowingly knows the person does not share their orientation. I call it deviate because such behaviors are a deviation from honesty with the intent to "don't knock it until you try it." There have been several hate crime attacks all because 1) The victim was not forthright with their orientation 2) The victim became the victim of circumstance because of the person was truly evil and homophobic. On a personal level I tend to run into this myself, and I just find it rude that gay men know I'm heterosexual but they push the issue. This is why I refrain from going to gay clubs because I'm sure there is one that would want to try and "turn me gay." So far with these hate crimes I'm not hearing anything from the community in being honest outright of their sexuality, because dishonesty is starting to get people killed.

why does it offend you?

 

[Hypersonic]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

The violent part. If a homosexual man pursues a heterosexual man who does not want it, how is that any different than when heterosexual men pursue women who do not want it?

Because you said the violence was caused because one man was homosexual. I've had gay guys hit on me, and I've never attacked any of them. I tell them I'm not interested and if it's still a problem, I remove myself from the situation.

What lack of honesty? If a homosexual man is hitting on you, about what is he being dishonest?

Hmm I thought I was clear. My point is the disregard for where the person stands and thus the person having a feeling of violation of not just personal space, but disregard. As I said this is no different than a heterosexual man engaging aggressively towards a lesbian woman, and the same can be said of a heterosexual man to a woman. The violence comes in depending on how the person is being engaged, and that depends on the situation. Violence is not warranted, but feeling of personal space being violated.

So in answering your question clearly if a gay man says "I'm gay and I like you" if I thereafter (after respectfully thanking him)say "he man don't swing like that" but he continues offering excuses of "don't knock it until you try it" then it becomes a disregard to what I clearly indicated.

As far as deception I am referring to transgendered. Regardless of the psychological component of how a man feels as being a woman mentally he will always be a man in society. I'm sorry if a transgendered despite having the feeling of being a woman born a man ans does not be forthright then yes it is deceit. There are men that like transgenders, and a lot of men who don't. I obviously am not attracted to transgender women but if I meet someone who I see as a woman I would hope they acknowledge that they were a born biological man.

 

[ecofarm]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

No. As I clearly indicated, I avoid those clubs because there is a lack of regard for personal space, as I go by my own personal experience. I am flattered gay men are attracted to me, but it's one thing to be flattered by compliments, it's another to be pursued.

 

[Hypersonic]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

why does it offend you?

You may want to read my responses but in short, if someome is transgendered and are trying to convince me they were a born woman without indicating their transformation its dishonest. If a man pursues me despite me indicating that we are sexually incompatible but continues to pursue it thus shows disregard to my desire.

 

[opendebate]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

You may want to read my responses but in short, if someome is transgendered and are trying to convince me they were a born woman without indicating their transformation its dishonest. If a man pursues me despite me indicating that we are sexually incompatible but continues to pursue it thus shows disregard to my desire.

Okay, fair enough. Am I being lazy?? Why should the community take responsibility?

 

[Slyfox696]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

My point is the disregard for where the person stands

A disregard which has nothing to do with sexual preference. A heterosexual man is just as likely to pursue a heterosexual woman as you've described a homosexual man has pursued you. The pursuit has nothing to do with sexual preference, but rather the socialization (if not instincts) of males.

As I said this is no different than a heterosexual man engaging aggressively towards a lesbian woman, and the same can be said of a heterosexual man to a woman.

So then why would the LGBT community apologize for something you recognize has nothing to do with the pursuers sexuality?

So in answering your question clearly if a gay man says "I'm gay and I like you" if I thereafter (after respectfully thanking him)say "he man don't swing like that" but he continues offering excuses of "don't knock it until you try it" then it becomes a disregard to what I clearly indicated.

I agree. But his continued pursuit does NOT warrant violence in return. For example, would you strike a woman who you find unattractive who relentlessly pursued you? Why not strike them, if you're willing to strike the homosexual? And if you would strike the woman, would we ask Hilary Clinton to take responsibility for it?

The violence in the situation you're describing is the result of homophobia.

As far as deception I am referring to transgendered. Regardless of the psychological component of how a man feels as being a woman mentally he will always be a man in society. I'm sorry if a transgendered despite having the feeling of being a woman born a man ans does not be forthright then yes it is deceit. There are men that like transgenders, and a lot of men who don't. I obviously am not attracted to transgender women but if I meet someone who I see as a woman I would hope they acknowledge that they were a born biological man.

And as far as this statement goes, it is rather homophobic. If you meet SOMEONE you are attracted to, why does it matter if they were born a male?

 

[opendebate]

Re: Should the LGBT community start taking responsibility in certain deviant behavior

I know this is controversial but by "deviant behavior" I'm referring to gays, lesbians, transgendered, targeting certain people who knowingly knows the person does not share their orientation. I call it deviate because such behaviors are a deviation from honesty with the intent to "don't knock it until you try it." There have been several hate crime attacks all because 1) The victim was not forthright with their orientation 2) The victim became the victim of circumstance because of the person was truly evil and homophobic. On a personal level I tend to run into this myself, and I just find it rude that gay men know I'm heterosexual but they push the issue. This is why I refrain from going to gay clubs because I'm sure there is one that would want to try and "turn me gay." So far with these hate crimes I'm not hearing anything from the community in being honest outright of their sexuality, because dishonesty is starting to get people killed.

One more thing, homosexual men are attracted men, consider it a compliment.