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Should marriage be legal between living humans and GHOSTS?

Should living humans be allowed to marry ghosts?

  • Yes

    Votes: 5 100.0%
  • No

    Votes: 1 20.0%

  • Total voters
    5

George_Washington

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A major political issue that is sweeping our nation is the idea of marriage between humans and ghosts.

Liberals are for it, conservatives are against it, and many people are just baffled by it.

How do YOU Feel about this issue? Should humans be allowed to marry, GHOSTS?

In order to help you make your decision, I will paste a transcript of an interview between the Dateline reporter Stone Phillips and a young man that has fallen in love with a ghost.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello, welcome to Dateline, with Stone Phillips. A major political issue that has everyone talking is the concept of legal marriage between humans and ghosts. Should it be legal? Some people say no, it is an abomination towards God. Others say that ghosts should have all the same rights that living people have.

With me tonight is Scott Barnes out of Wisconsin. He is young man, age 28, who has fallen in love with a ghost that started haunting his home over two years ago. Scott believe that he should be allowed to marry her, the ghost, and live happily ever after.

Stone Phillips: Scott, hi, how are you?

Scott: Fine, Stone.

Stone Phillips: And uh, your name is, spirit? Er, mam?

Jane: My name is Jane Foster and I am a ghost.

Stone Phillips: Interesting. How long ago did you die?

Jane: I died 15 years ago in Los Angeles, California.

Stone Phillips: And how did you come to haunt Scott's home way over in Wisconsin?

Jane: Well, to be honest Stone, I just wanted to get out of LA. There are just too many ghosts there all trying to haunt basically the same kind of house. I thought my chances of having a successful haunting career would be grealty increased in the less competitive state of Wisconsin.

Stone Phillips: Fascinating. By the way-have you noticed how I'm always making facial expressions and shaking my head, even when nothing is happening?

Jane: Yeah, it gets annoying.

Stone Phillips: Fascinating! Now tell me, Jane, how did you and Scott come to have a relationship?

Scott: If I may answer that. She started haunting my home about 2 years ago. She would do things like throw the peanut butter across the room, in my face, or even out the window. Sometimes she would even watch me undress. Although I couldn't blame her for that as I am a fairly attractive guy.

Stone Phillips: Right. So...when did the romance begin?

Scott: Well, this kind of **** went on for about 6 months until I finally yelled, "Would you freakin stop!" And that's when she revealed herself to me.

Stone Phillips: What was the first thing you thought?

Scott: I thought, "Wow, what a beautiful woman!"

Stone Phillips: You do look well preserved, Jane. How do you keep up this appearance after being dead?

Jane: Well, basically, on the other side we have much more effect skin care products than you folks have.

Stone Phillips: I see. So, what made you two fall in love?

Jane: We just started sitting down together and found out that we had many things in common.

Scott: I was so thrilled to know that she is one of the HUGEST Nascar fans in the country. She has haunted serveral Nascar rallies.

Jane: Yes and so we basically just hit it off right away.

Stone Phillips: And you two would like to get married?

Jane: Yes.

Scott: Yes, Stone. It's not that we want any kind of special rights. We just want the same. We just want to be able to hold hands in public without people freaking out and running away. We want to be able to go to restaurants, enjoy a pleasant meal, without having someone say, "It's a ghost! Run!"

Stone Phillips: Hmm, I see. There are some people who say that relationships between the living and the dead are immoral or unnatural. What do you think about that?

Scott: I think that's bullcrap. If two people love each, what's the difference if you're dead or alive? If you still have your body or not? It's just ridiculous. And when we make love, what does it matter if we don't do it the normal way?

Stone Phillips: Um, exactly what way do you, "do it?" I'm just wondering...

Jane: Ghosts can bend their forms in ways humans can't, Stone.

Stone Phillips: Oh. Well, Scott, what would you like to see Congress do when they vote on this issue next fall?

Scott: Well, I mean, I would like them to just allow us to get married and past laws to stop descriminating against the dead.

Jane: Yes, Stone. All we want are equal rights. I think we especially need to protect the rights of dead people to buy property. If we could buy houses of our own, we wouldn't have to haunt them.

And there you have it, Scott, the young construction store manager out of Wisconsin, that has fallen madly in love with a dead person. Join us next week on Dateline when we Interview a man who claims he is an actual Borg and that they do exist elsewhere in our galaxy. Goodnight.
 
Last edited:

cherokee

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:rofl :rofl :rofl
 

americanwoman

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OMG!! I voted yes right away because who is to deny true love. It's better than marrying a horse or something, like I saw on Jerry Springer, because they can't even say no!

The best part was after I voted and really read the article is that my one of my brothers name is Scott Barnes! Come on you gotta give me the link where I can find this so I can email it to him and totally make fun of him cause he was just talking too about how his apartment was haunted! This is just too much!
:2rofll:
 

George_Washington

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americanwoman said:
OMG!! I voted yes right away because who is to deny true love. It's better than marrying a horse or something, like I saw on Jerry Springer, because they can't even say no!

The best part was after I voted and really read the article is that my one of my brothers name is Scott Barnes! Come on you gotta give me the link where I can find this so I can email it to him and totally make fun of him cause he was just talking too about how his apartment was haunted! This is just too much!
:2rofll:
Yes, it was actually of your brother. But little do you know that your brother is currently seeing the ghost that's haunting his apartment and so I don't want to invade their privacy. She's a hot, sexy latin chick that died in Florida several years ago.
 

americanwoman

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George_Washington said:
Yes, it was actually of your brother. But little do you know that your brother is currently seeing the ghost that's haunting his apartment and so I don't want to invade their privacy. She's a hot, sexy latin chick that died in Florida several years ago.

that explains alot............:shock:
 

George_Washington

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Well, we definitely need to do something about bigotry towards dead people here in America. In France, if you're dead, you can go into any restaurant and you don't have to ride in the back of the bus. Also, there are housing subsidies for ghosts who can't find adequate housing. Most politicans don't realize this but the dead population is so huge, that they would be able to gain millions of more electoral votes by introducing a bill for them to be able to vote.
 

cnredd

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George_Washington said:
Well, we definitely need to do something about bigotry towards dead people here in America. In France, if you're dead, you can go into any restaurant and you don't have to ride in the back of the bus. Also, there are housing subsidies for ghosts who can't find adequate housing. Most politicans don't realize this but the dead population is so huge, that they would be able to gain millions of more electoral votes by introducing a bill for them to be able to vote.
Personally, I think they get away with too much...

Why are they allowed to order runny eggs and rare steak?...This is anti-humanism at its greatest...
 
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Bah, them freakin' ghosts are getting too uppity! Next thing you know, all sorts of zombies, vampires and other revenants will be wanting to get married too!
 
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