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Sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but how much do you think it is a factor?

Thorgasm

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I think that sex is 50% of a relationship. It is what makes the relationship unique. It is also so much fun. What does everyone think?
 

cnredd

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Totally situational...There are relationships where it is the only thing keeping two people together, and others where it is the only problem...
 

Stace

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cnredd said:
Totally situational...There are relationships where it is the only thing keeping two people together, and others where it is the only problem...
I would have to agree with that. Sex just isn't as important to some people as it is to others, and most couples go through dry spells anyway, and their relationship can still thrive. And what about old people? Many of them abstain from sex, most often due to those pesky old age aches and pains, but they can still have a happy and productive relationship.

It's totally relative to the couple in question. It might be 50% of the marriage for John and Sue, but may be 75% for Bob and Jane, or only 25% for Tom and Ann.
 

Thorgasm

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I am asking about your own personal opinions. I am not asking for a cookie-cutter formula. I know that each relationship is different. But what percentage of your relationship or your ideal relationship would sex be?
 

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independent_thinker2002 said:
I am asking about your own personal opinions. I am not asking for a cookie-cutter formula. I know that each relationship is different. But what percentage of your relationship or your ideal relationship would sex be?

My relationship? It varies. We go through periods where we have tons of sex, and then we go through periods where we don't have sex for months....but the overall importance factor? I guess I'd say somewhere around 30%. It's important, sure, but there are other aspects of our relationship that mean a lot more to us.
 

americanwoman

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For me it's about 55%. I think it's very important to keep your partner sastified. I also think it's good for your health to get some stress release at least 4 times a week.
 

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I agree with americanwoman...sex is a good stress release. :mrgreen:

I know for my other half and myself, we have tons of sex all the time. Its free, high impact, and active entertainment. But then you have to think of it this way...we are two guys and we tend to think about sex constantly. Its no surprise that we have tons of sex and after a few years, its not slowing down at all. I think for us, sex ranks about a 75%.
 

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Well I admit I've ruined relationships because I put too much into the sexual part.

Also it differs with the length of the relationship. For example my wife and I used to go bananas everynight when we were dating and fisrt married. Now... not so much and that's fine because we've got a lot more invested in each other than pleasure after 6 years. And when we do do 'it' it is still very much fun.

So I say that early in the relationship it is more important than later. So about 70% down to 30%.
 

ngdawg

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When it's not around, the relationship goes straight to the toilet...


/me flushes
 

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For me it is about 25%. There are so many other important issues. I think friendship is THE most important issue in a relationship. Reliability, honesty and respect are of great importance as well. I think maybe at the beginning of a relationship sex is just a natural aspect and then it wears off a little as your foundation grows. Perhaps, it starts out as lust and grows into love.
 

mixedmedia

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That's kind of a tough question. I never really thought about it in that way, but I'm gonna say 30% with another 30% reliant on liking each other enough to keep the prospect of having sex with each other vibrant and exciting. Sex by the numbers is, for me, disheartening and doesn't contribute to the nurturing of a loving, happy marriage. That would make sex, in an ideal and healthy relationship, rated at about 60% for me. Damaged and/or unworkable relationships don't factor in.
 

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I'm not sure how some of you guys can say sex is like everything. Jallman, your assertion that sex is 75% in a, relationship is ridiculous. I'm not sure just what kind of thing you and your, uh, "partner" have going or how it works in the gay community. But for me, if a woman doesn't treat me right and I don't enjoy other things too, just having sex all day long is silly. I mean if you're talking about just having a meaningless sexual affair, that's one thing. But to have a relationship, you have to have more.
 

cherokee

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Re: Sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but how much do you think it is a factor

That’s not an easy question to answer. My wife and I enjoy a healthy sexual relationship but if it were to end tomorrow I would love her no less.
A friend asked me what she meant to me one day.
The only thing I could say was “She’s the air I breathe”.


ps. People dont believe me when I say the last fight we had was 14 years ago.
 

George_Washington

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Re: Sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but how much do you think it is a factor

cherokee said:
That’s not an easy question to answer. My wife and I enjoy a healthy sexual relationship but if it were to end tomorrow I would love her no less.
A friend asked me what she meant to me one day.
The only thing I could say was “She’s the air I breathe”.


ps. People dont believe me when I say the last fight we had was 14 years ago.
That's exactly how I've felt about women in my past that I have cared about. This one girl I was watching a movie with on Valentine's Day, I remember how happy I was just having her rest her head on my shoulder.
 

cherokee

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Re: Sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but how much do you think it is a factor

George_Washington said:
That's exactly how I've felt about women in my past that I have cared about. This one girl I was watching a movie with on Valentine's Day, I remember how happy I was just having her rest her head on my shoulder.
Cool!...

Wait until the day she can finish your sentence…lol…
We can look at each other and know what the other is thinking..no bs…
All these years and I would still gladly go to hell for her.
Love is so much more then sex.
 

Thorgasm

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Re: Sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but how much do you think it is a factor

cherokee said:
That’s not an easy question to answer. My wife and I enjoy a healthy sexual relationship but if it were to end tomorrow I would love her no less.
A friend asked me what she meant to me one day.
The only thing I could say was “She’s the air I breathe”.


ps. People dont believe me when I say the last fight we had was 14 years ago.
She's always right, huh? :mrgreen:

I just don't have the ability to keep my mouth shut when I disagree.:doh
 

George_Washington

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Re: Sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but how much do you think it is a factor

independent_thinker2002 said:
She's always right, huh? :mrgreen:

I just don't have the ability to keep my mouth shut when I disagree.:doh

lol Just find a woman that likes you despite your personal differences. The girl I'm currently seeing, we certainly don't agree on everything but I don't think she really minds. Of course there could be a problem with that when taken to an extreme. The previous girl I went out with said she was madly in love with me after only 3 dates. I could have said I believed in mass genocide and she still would have seen me. So you have to be careful...lol.
 

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Re: Sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but how much do you think it is a factor

cherokee said:
ps. People dont believe me when I say the last fight we had was 14 years ago.
The last fight my wife and I had was ah...well..ah... I dunno. It's been 10 years.
We have had snips, but never a "fight".

As for sex... it is awesome, but not as relivant as 75% or even 30%.
It isn't even required, but it's definatly the icing on the cake. :)
 

cherokee

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Re: Sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but how much do you think it is a factor

independent_thinker2002 said:
She's always right, huh? :mrgreen:

I just don't have the ability to keep my mouth shut when I disagree.:doh


Nope, not at all.
It’s knowing what’s worth fighting about.

Look at it this way.
If she does something that ticks me off I ask myself "Is this still going to pi$$ me off in a week from now?" If the answer is no then it’s dropped, that fast.
Same goes for her.

Do we sometimes get on each other’s nerves? Of course we do, that’s life.
But its not worth starting a fight over.
 

alphieb

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Re: Sex isn't every thing in a relationship, but how much do you think it is a factor

cherokee said:
That’s not an easy question to answer. My wife and I enjoy a healthy sexual relationship but if it were to end tomorrow I would love her no less.
A friend asked me what she meant to me one day.
The only thing I could say was “She’s the air I breathe”.


ps. People dont believe me when I say the last fight we had was 14 years ago.
That is soooo sweet, if all men acted like you, more marriages would survive. Of course it is a two way street also.
 

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For me I think it will be 50%, because I'm not married yet.

I think sex is an important part in one couple's life.But without the communication of the two hearts,sex means nothing.
 

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mixedmedia said:
That's kind of a tough question. I never really thought about it in that way, but I'm gonna say 30% with another 30% reliant on liking each other enough to keep the prospect of having sex with each other vibrant and exciting. Sex by the numbers is, for me, disheartening and doesn't contribute to the nurturing of a loving, happy marriage. That would make sex, in an ideal and healthy relationship, rated at about 60% for me. Damaged and/or unworkable relationships don't factor in.
I want to modify my position here slightly because I think what I really meant to say is that sex in a happy marriage for me would factor in at about 30% with another 30% that is flexible in that, at the times when sex is not so frequent (which happens in most marriages, I think) that there remains a level of intimacy expressed in different ways that makes up for it. Which I guess, what it really comes down to is the constant nurturing of romantic love and a companionship that is natural, giving and at ease. But for me personally, those are intertwined with a healthy and exciting sex life. Clear as mud? lol
 

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George_Washington said:
I'm not sure how some of you guys can say sex is like everything. Jallman, your assertion that sex is 75% in a, relationship is ridiculous. I'm not sure just what kind of thing you and your, uh, "partner" have going or how it works in the gay community. But for me, if a woman doesn't treat me right and I don't enjoy other things too, just having sex all day long is silly. I mean if you're talking about just having a meaningless sexual affair, that's one thing. But to have a relationship, you have to have more.
My assertion was about my own relationship. My, uh, partner and I have a great relationship evident from the desire to keep having sex with one another with the same zeal as when we first started. I am not sure how you get along with the other half of your relationships, but I find that we simply have more time to enjoy sex because we are already of like mind on all the other stuff. I make no apologies for having a healthy sex drive nor for the fact that I enjoy being with someone who has a similar libido.
 

mixedmedia

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jallman said:
My assertion was about my own relationship. My, uh, partner and I have a great relationship evident from the desire to keep having sex with one another with the same zeal as when we first started. I am not sure how you get along with the other half of your relationships, but I find that we simply have more time to enjoy sex because we are already of like mind on all the other stuff. I make no apologies for having a healthy sex drive nor for the fact that I enjoy being with someone who has a similar libido.
What jallman? He says it's ridiculous so it's ridiculous. What would you know about your own relationship? :roll:
 

Jerry

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independent_thinker2002 said:
I think that sex is 50% of a relationship. It is what makes the relationship unique. It is also so much fun. What does everyone think?
What sort of relationship did you have in mind when you posed this question?
It's relevant.
 
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