sex and romance

[FallingPianos]

can sex exist inside a platonic friendship and be considered healthy? or is there something inherently romantic about sex that would result in someone getting hurt if it occured outside a romantic relationship? can the whole friends-with-benefits thing really work?

are such relationships healthy? normal? moral?

edit:

I got disconnected from the internet before I could enter the poll options, but it seemed to post the thread anyway. could a mod please fix it?

the question should be: "what are your thoughts on sex within platonic relationships?"

options should be:
"its unhealthy emotionally"
"its immoral because someone could get hurt emotionally"
"its immoral because because a pregnancy could occur"
"its immoral because it would be outside of marriage"
"its immoral for another reason"
"its not a wise idea"
"sex is a valid and healthy human interaction even without romance"
"there is nothing immoral with sex outside a romantic relationship"
"sex outside of romance should be more widely accepted"

people should be able to vote for as many options as they like. and voting should be anonomous.

 

[1069]

can sex exist inside a platonic friendship and be considered healthy? or is there something inherently romantic about sex that would result in someone getting hurt if it occured outside a romantic relationship? can the whole friends-with-benefits thing really work?

are such relationships healthy? normal? moral?

I think this was covered pretty extensively in that "Sex For fun" thread awhile back.
I think... different people bring different expectations to sex, and while one might think one's expectations are in line with one's partner's, this might not necessarily be the case.
I'm not saying yea or nay on the issue; I'm just saying that it's something to be aware of.
People can be deliberately deceptive about their true feelings or expectations, or they can be inadvertently deceptive (in that they are deceiving themselves, as well). Or, two partners can start out with the same feelings and expectations, but somewhere along the line the feelings and expectations of one or the other can change.
It's complicated.

 

[rathi]

Ah, the elusive "friends with benefits" thing. I say that it is possible, just very very rare. Our society provides intense amounts of conditioning on relationships, and it does not really promote such a relationship. Can anyone name a movie in which such a situation exists and stays as such? You either see the James Bond womanizer/female counterpart or you see two people in a committed relationship. Overcoming such pressure is not easy.

Personally speaking, I never seen it actually work. One person always seems to end wanting to turn it into a romantic relationship. Also all too often it used when the other person just wants one person for sex and not the friendship or if someone doesn't have the courage to ask for an honest relationship. My attempt to form such a relationship certainly failed. However, I am certain I could find a kindred spirit who enjoys sex and friendship, yet does not enjoy the pressures and hoops you have to jump through in a relationship.

 

[Stace]

I've successfully had a couple of friends with benefits relationships. At least, as far as I was concerned they were successful. I had no romantic designs on them, and to the best of my knowledge, they had none on me. And since there was no discussion of either of us wanting to be in a relationship at the time, it was nice to still get laid without all of the other strings attached. :rofl And we still spent plenty of time just doing things normal friends do.

 

[Kandahar]

I voted for the following:
It is unhealthy emotionally
It is not a wise idea
There is nothing immoral with sex outside a romantic relationship


I don't see anything WRONG with it. It just rarely (if ever) works out the way people think it will.

 

[Flea]

Sooo.... you can have sex with friends, huh?

 

[Rhapsody1447]

Jerry: Why shouldn't we be able to do that once in a while if we want to?
Elaine: I know.
Jerry: I mean, really, what is the big deal? We go in there. (Points to the bedroom) We're in there for a while. We come right back out here. It's not complicated.
Elaine: It's almost stupid if we didn't.
Jerry: It's moronic.
Elaine: Absurd!
Jerry: Of course, I guess, maybe, some little problems could arise.
Elaine: We, there are always a few.
Jerry: I mean, if anything happened, and we couldn't be friends the way we are now, that would be really bad.
Elaine: Devastating.
Jerry: Because this is very good. (Points back and forth between them to indicate friendship
Elaine: And that would be good. (Points to bedroom)
Jerry: That would be good too. The idea is combine the this and the that. But this cannot be disturbed.
Elaine: Yeah, we just wanna take this and add that.
Jerry: But of course, we'd have to figure out a way to avoid the things that cause the little problems. Maybe some rules or something.
Elaine: Huh.
Jerry: For example, now, I call you whenever I'm inclined and vice versa.
Elaine: Right.
Jerry: But if we did that, we might feel a certain obligation to call.
Elaine: Well why should that be? Oh, I have an idea. I have an idea. No call the day after that.
Jerry: Beautiful. Let's make it a rule.
Elaine: All right, sir.
Jerry: Now here's another little rule. When we see each other now, we retire to our separate quarters. But sometimes, when people get involved with that, they feel pressure to sleep over. When that is not really sleep. Sleep is separate from that. And I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected with that.
Elaine: Okay, okay. Spending the night is optional!
Jerry: Well now we're gettin' somewhere.
Elaine: What about the kiss goodnight?
Jerry: Tough one. You're call.
Elaine: It's brug-wa (?).
Jerry: Fine. Well.
Elaine: Well.
Jerry: You ready?
Elaine: Ready.
Jerry: So think you can handle this?
Elaine: Definitely. (Runs into bookshelf)

Leave it to the experts to decide.