Sex and Friendship

[SmokethatGreen]

Why is it that a serious relationship is usually defined as a friendship with sex? Why can't sex just be its own thing and not be confused with love or any of that bull****. If the time is right and you and a girl (or guy, whatever you're into) are friends or even not friends and engage in sex, why is that considered wrong? I hate the weight sex puts on a friendship after its over. Like something is supposed to change and you are both supposed to pledge your love to one another. Of course wear protection, the 70's taught us that (AIDS) but cmon, what more is there to sex besides genital interaction? I don't think there is anything else to it than that and if there is its only because of some social ideal.

 

[Keridan]

I really don't mean this offensively. It's an honest question. Do you just get blitzed out on the green and come here to ramble? Your topics seem so random sometimes.

Addressing the OP:

I find that it always depends on the folks involved. Some folks are great with casual or even open relationships. Some feel any intimacy creates a big emotional bond.

Unfortunately, the people involved don't always know what category they fall into themselves and it creates tough situations.

 

[Josie]

Why is it that a serious relationship is usually defined as a friendship with sex? Why can't sex just be its own thing and not be confused with love or any of that bull****. If the time is right and you and a girl (or guy, whatever you're into) are friends or even not friends and engage in sex, why is that considered wrong? I hate the weight sex puts on a friendship after its over. Like something is supposed to change and you are both supposed to pledge your love to one another. Of course wear protection, the 70's taught us that (AIDS) but cmon, what more is there to sex besides genital interaction? I don't think there is anything else to it than that and if there is its only because of some social ideal.

AIDS was discovered in the 90s.

 

[justabubba]

Why is it that a serious relationship is usually defined as a friendship with sex? Why can't sex just be its own thing and not be confused with love or any of that bull****. If the time is right and you and a girl (or guy, whatever you're into) are friends or even not friends and engage in sex, why is that considered wrong? I hate the weight sex puts on a friendship after its over. Like something is supposed to change and you are both supposed to pledge your love to one another. Of course wear protection, the 70's taught us that (AIDS) but cmon, what more is there to sex besides genital interaction? I don't think there is anything else to it than that and if there is its only because of some social ideal.

you (and she) have a choice here
refuse to respond to the physical act emotionally

I hate the weight sex puts on a friendship after its over. Like something is supposed to change and you are both supposed to pledge your love to one another

your choice to place weight on the friendship after the deed has been done
your choice to feel obligated to make a commitment after the act
my approach was to discuss it first, so that i could be certain my prospective partner for the moment was similarly inclined
once both agree it is only about having fun, then go have some fun

 

[justabubba]

AIDS was discovered in the 90s.

early 80's
of course, at that time medical science initially had no idea what society was experiencing

sure slowed down the 'free love' era, which had already hit a herpes road/rode hump

 

[Josie]

early 80's
of course, at that time medical science initially had no idea what society was experiencing

sure slowed down the 'free love' era, which had already hit a herpes road/rode hump

My mistake. I thought for sure it was the early 90s.

 

[MovingPictures]

 

[SmokethatGreen]

I really don't mean this offensively. It's an honest question. Do you just get blitzed out on the green and come here to ramble? Your topics seem so random sometimes.

Addressing the OP:

I find that it always depends on the folks involved. Some folks are great with casual or even open relationships. Some feel any intimacy creates a big emotional bond.

Unfortunately, the people involved don't always know what category they fall into themselves and it creates tough situations.

Uhh how is it random? Its on the Sex & Sexuality forum...

 

[SmokethatGreen]

AIDS was discovered in the 90s.

In 1983, scientists discovered the virus that causes AIDS. The virus was at first named HTLV-III/LAV (human T-cell lymphotropic virus-type III/lymphadenopathy-associated virus) by an international scientific committee. This name was later changed to HIV (human immunodeficiency virus).

https://www.theaidsinstitute.org/education/aids-101/where-did-hiv-come-0

 

[Crovax]

My mistake. I thought for sure it was the early 90s.

I feel like there is a joke to be made there but I’m sure it would offend all parties involved

 

[Keridan]

Uhh how is it random? Its on the Sex & Sexuality forum...

I don't mean it's wrong or in the wrong place. I was honestly curious. Your posts as a whole are on a very varied range of topics and seem to be slightly random to those of us who gave up pot some years ago. It's a point of curiosity, not a judgment in any way. I'm a huge fan of pot and random thoughts. And you haven't been crazy, just a very ranged selection.

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

Why is it that a serious relationship is usually defined as a friendship with sex? Why can't sex just be its own thing and not be confused with love or any of that bull****. If the time is right and you and a girl (or guy, whatever you're into) are friends or even not friends and engage in sex, why is that considered wrong? I hate the weight sex puts on a friendship after its over. Like something is supposed to change and you are both supposed to pledge your love to one another. Of course wear protection, the 70's taught us that (AIDS) but cmon, what more is there to sex besides genital interaction? I don't think there is anything else to it than that and if there is its only because of some social ideal.

(Sniff....) Hmmmm...smells like incel.

 

[Hawkeye10]

Why is it that a serious relationship is usually defined as a friendship with sex? Why can't sex just be its own thing and not be confused with love or any of that bull****. If the time is right and you and a girl (or guy, whatever you're into) are friends or even not friends and engage in sex, why is that considered wrong? I hate the weight sex puts on a friendship after its over. Like something is supposed to change and you are both supposed to pledge your love to one another. Of course wear protection, the 70's taught us that (AIDS) but cmon, what more is there to sex besides genital interaction? I don't think there is anything else to it than that and if there is its only because of some social ideal.

Well I for instance have long liked power and control to be a big part of sex....Me and the wife being BDSM Swingers.

 

[Keridan]

Well I for instance have long liked power and control to be a big part of sex....Me and my wife being BDSM Swingers.

I've never come close to being in a successful relationship with sharing and I totally can't handle BDSM. Can I politely ask how long you have been together?

 

[Hawkeye10]

I've never come close to being in a successful relationship with sharing and I totally can't handle BDSM. Can I politely ask how long you have been together?

Since 1986, what ever that is. She filed divorce papers on me once. She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, really bad age 9-12, by an older brother who killed himself a few years after he stopped. Her mom knew all about it........I listened to the victim culture promoters who told me in no uncertain terms that I could not give her what she kept asking for because what she was asking for was a residual of the abuse. If I said yes then I would be reabusing her, maybe as bad as her brother.

She got so miserable with me blowing her off as she saw it that she decided she needed to divorce me.

That woke me up fast.

 

[SDET]

Why is it that a serious relationship is usually defined as a friendship with sex? Why can't sex just be its own thing and not be confused with love or any of that bull****. If the time is right and you and a girl (or guy, whatever you're into) are friends or even not friends and engage in sex, why is that considered wrong? I hate the weight sex puts on a friendship after its over. Like something is supposed to change and you are both supposed to pledge your love to one another. Of course wear protection, the 70's taught us that (AIDS) but cmon, what more is there to sex besides genital interaction? I don't think there is anything else to it than that and if there is its only because of some social ideal.

Simple, giving someone sex is a very substantial gift. Gratitude is in order. I appreciate each one that gives me such immense pleasure.

 

[Hawkeye10]

Simple, giving someone sex is a very substantial gift. Gratitude is in order. I appreciate each one that gives me such immense pleasure.

GO SLUTS! The More The Better!

 

[Keridan]

Since 1986, what ever that is. She filed divorce papers on me once. She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, really bad age 9-12, by an older brother who killed himself a few years after he stopped. Her mom knew all about it........I listened to the victim culture promoters who told me in no uncertain terms that I could not give her what she kept asking for because what she was asking for was a residual of the abuse. If I said yes then I would be reabusing her, maybe as bad as her brother.

She got so miserable with me blowing her off as she saw it that she decided she needed to divorce me.

That woke me up fast.

Wow. Just wow. That is a very open and informative answer. I really don't want to press into your personal life on a politics board, but I do have two questions. Are you still together? And did you find a balance that worked for both of you?

I will not be offended if you decline either answer. My wife and my marriages have both had rough situations and it has been a challenge, but we work. I'm just curious. Sometimes it's a matter of finding someone who can deal with the baggage and sometimes there is just no good answer.

 

[Hawkeye10]

Wow. Just wow. That is a very open and informative answer. I really don't want to press into your personal life on a politics board, but I do have two questions. Are you still together? And did you find a balance that worked for both of you?

I will not be offended if you decline either answer. My wife and my marriages have both had rough situations and it has been a challenge, but we work. I'm just curious. Sometimes it's a matter of finding someone who can deal with the baggage and sometimes there is just no good answer.

I am a Truth Teller, of the Zen sort......there are not many of us Truth Tellers remaining, we in this society have become colossal liars. If you listen to Jordan Peterson even a little you will see fast why living this life as a liar is a really bad idea.

Sadly people are really ignorant now.

WE USED TO BE BETTER





Note, ya we are still together. We always will be together till death.

 

[Keridan]

I am a Truth Teller, of the Zen sort......there are not many of us Truth Tellers remaining, we in this society have become colossal liars. If you listen to Jordan Peterson even a little you will see fast why living this life as a liar is a really bad idea.

Sadly people are really ignorant now.

WE USED TO BE BETTER





Note, ya we are still together. We always will be together till death.

Well, I very much thank you for the honest and forthright answers! I prefer to believe I am a truth-teller as much as I understand truth.

I'm glad you two are still together and I wish you all the best and true contentment and love for the rest of your lives!

 

[distraff]

Why is it that a serious relationship is usually defined as a friendship with sex? Why can't sex just be its own thing and not be confused with love or any of that bull****. If the time is right and you and a girl (or guy, whatever you're into) are friends or even not friends and engage in sex, why is that considered wrong? I hate the weight sex puts on a friendship after its over. Like something is supposed to change and you are both supposed to pledge your love to one another. Of course wear protection, the 70's taught us that (AIDS) but cmon, what more is there to sex besides genital interaction? I don't think there is anything else to it than that and if there is its only because of some social ideal.

Most women require some kind of friendship and love along with sex. Just the way they are wired.

 

[Crosscheck]

As I was reading this thread the tv was on and played one of those Slinger Commercials. As funny as it is there is some real life comparisons in that often you don't know what the other person is thinking.

 

[SDET]

GO SLUTS! The More The Better!

Imagine for a second wondering around a place like the one pictured below. You search for the nubile darling with the cutest face. You discover that she is of legal age. You get her cleaned up with new clothes and take her to a place that she could only dream of. Add to that a culture that accepting a nice dinner means that a chick is considered a thief if she doesn't put out. She undresses at a love hotel as soon as she walks through the door without even being asked. It really is that good. Only once has anyone not done that under those circumstances. That one exception was a super religious chick that was saving herself for marriage. It's like finding an oyster bed with an abundance of pearls.

Actually, you get her naked before you pay for dinner. She needs to undress to get cleaned up and put on the new clothes.

The interesting thing is that such a thing usually generates a friendship. The guy because he gets sex from a woman with an incredible body and the young woman and her family because you are giving them a break from unspeakable poverty. If the guy wants to see her again, it's a good idea to help her entire family to some extent.

 

[Hawkeye10]

Imagine for a second wondering around a place like the one pictured below. You search for the nubile darling with the cutest face. You discover that she is of legal age. You get her cleaned up with new clothes and take her to a place that she could only dream of. Add to that a culture that accepting a nice dinner means that a chick is considered a thief if she doesn't put out. She undresses at a love hotel as soon as she walks through the door without even being asked. It really is that good. Only once has anyone not done that under those circumstances. That one exception was a super religious chick that was saving herself for marriage. It's like finding an oyster bed with an abundance of pearls.

OH I Know, not first hand but I have seen a lot, and I know people.

You live an interesting life from what I can tell.

:2wave:

 

[nota bene]

AIDS was discovered in the 90s.

The virus was discovered in 1983. https://www.theaidsinstitute.org/education/aids-101/where-did-hiv-come-0

In 1985 the first person I knew and loved died.

And the Band Played On: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_the_Band_Played_On