SATIRE: Man Announces Sanctions On Wife After She Invades His Side Of Bed Again

[Roadvirus]

Man Announces Sanctions On Wife After She Invades His Side Of Bed Again

NAMPA, ID—Local construction worker and faithful husband Joseph Smithereen has recently placed sanctions on his wife of fifteen years after she invaded his side of the bed, again.

babylonbee.com

The great part of this is the roles can easily be reversed!

 

[Crovax]

How can I get in on this, my wife continually invades my side of the bed. The cats too.

 

[tacomancer]

How can I get in on this, my wife continually invades my side of the bed. The cats too.

Ice cubes can be quite effective

 

[Hamish Howl]

My wife invades my side of the bed all the time and it's awesome

 

[lurchadams]

How can I get in on this, my wife continually invades my side of the bed. The cats too.

I cat sit my brother's when he's out of town. The cat has this horrible habit. I sleep in shorts. She likes to go under the covers, between my legs and kneed my inner thighs with her claws! About half the time I can stick it out until she knocks it off. The other half I have to "tap out" and drag her back above the covers.

 

[Gateman_Wen]

I'm single, all sides of the bed are mine. I do allow my current girlfriend to visit occasionally.

 

[Schism]

Love the Bee!

 

[VanceMack]

Yeah...I can attest...sanctions dont work.......

 

[Emily L]

My wife invades my side of the bed all the time and it's awesome

 

[Argent]

Pfffft, such a complicated solution to a simple problem.
Resolution -- separate bedrooms separated by a neutral zone.
There is one purpose for crossing the neutral zone.
After both parties reach satisfactory conclusion of that purpose, the invading party retreats back across the neutral zone to their own bedroom.

 

[Mr Person]

Pfffft, such a complicated solution to a simple problem.
Resolution -- separate bedrooms separated by a neutral zone.
There is one purpose for crossing the neutral zone.
After both parties reach satisfactory conclusion of that purpose, the invading party retreats back across the neutral zone to their own bedroom.

I've only ever done the two bedroom thing. Someone tossing and turning (and coughing loudly, etc) next to me is me not sleeping, and I do enough tossing and turning myself as it is.

 

[tacomancer]

I've only ever done the two bedroom thing. Someone tossing and turning (and coughing loudly, etc) next to me is me not sleeping, and I do enough tossing and turning myself as it is.

I have to do a second bedroom sometimes due to a medical condition she suffers from.

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

My wife invades my side of the bed all the time and it's awesome

I invade Karen's side all the time, 50-50 chance she will make a big show of "get off me, I'm trying to sleep and you're smothering me" or ❤❤❤.
Paraphrasing Forrest Gump: "You never know what you're gonna get." 😁

 

[Mr Person]

I have to do a second bedroom sometimes due to a medical condition she suffers from.

Well, I can't "like" that post.. but yeah. No medical condition related to sleep here, but it's virtually impossible to share a bed the whole night. I usually start out there, then retreat to my escape bedroom (and office and storage)

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

I guess I must have led a sheltered life!
If I feel bad, snuggling makes me feel BETTER.
No matter how awful I may feel, and yes there are days where I feel really terrible, a nice hug from my wife and all of a sudden 99% of it just slides off of me in a wave.

 

[Hamish Howl]

Well, I can't "like" that post.. but yeah. No medical condition related to sleep here, but it's virtually impossible to share a bed the whole night. I usually start out there, then retreat to my escape bedroom (and office and storage)

I can't sleep if I'm not in the bed with my wife. We've been together for 30 years and the idea of sleeping alone is alien.

 

[Argent]

've only ever done the two bedroom thing. Someone tossing and turning (and coughing loudly, etc) next to me is me not sleeping, and I do enough tossing and turning myself as it is.

DH is frequently called out sometimes 2-3 times to go to the hospital between midnight and 6 a.m. and in between the hospital is calling to give him updates. He uses a C-PAP machine which reduced his snoring but the hose comes loose a couple of times a night and it sounds like Darth Vader with asthma. Between that and my usual tossing and turning, neither of us could count on a good night's rest.