Question for ladies who have gone through menopause... [W:63]

[Summerwind]

Only three hot flashes. Lucky you.

I sometimes have hot flashes month to month. I asked the doctor about it, and she said there wasn't much I can do.

I asked my mom if that was normal before her menopause, and she said no. She doesn't really get them at all.

Hot flashes are annoying and strange. It's hard to cool down, but the outside of my body might feel super cold. Its not the worst thing in the world though.

I'm so jealous of your relatives. I've been having hot flashes for 22 years. Some get them, some don't. At one point the docs tried to convince me to go on hormones to relieve but honestly as you say, they aren't that bad. Hormones made me gain 20 pounds in two weeks, zits, and I was screaming at everyone. I'll gladly deal with the hot flashes for another 22 years if need be.

 

[SheWolf]

I am not going through menopause though. Its just month to month hormone changes. I had blood work to check my hormone levels and they were normal. I am not diabetic.

But endometritis runs in the family, and caused my sister to need a total hysterectomy at 24.

The hormones used to drive her nuts. I felt really bad for her, but I think she has it under control now.

I'm so jealous of your relatives. I've been having hot flashes for 22 years. Some get them, some don't. At one point the docs tried to convince me to go on hormones to relieve but honestly as you say, they aren't that bad. Hormones made me gain 20 pounds in two weeks, zits, and I was screaming at everyone. I'll gladly deal with the hot flashes for another 22 years if need be.

 

[Summerwind]

I am not going through menopause though. Its just month to month hormone changes. I had blood work to check my hormone levels and they were normal. I am not diabetic.

But endometritis runs in the family, and caused my sister to need a total hysterectomy at 24.

The hormones used to drive her nuts. I felt really bad for her, but I think she has it under control now.

Yep, I had to have an early full hysterectomy as well, hence the 22 years of hotflashes. But again, some never have them, and some like me are plagued. BTW, the hormones for the few weeks I took them did not address the hotflashes anyway, not for me, though I do believe they work for some.

 

[NoC_T]

Frankly, what is boils down to, is that virtually everything boils down to sexuality, no matter if you're a man or a woman. That was a great idea that God had.

Men don't define themselves in terms of sexuality, to anything like the same extent as do women. Men aren't conditioned to demand external reinforcement, as women are.

 

[NoC_T]

I see you being trolled. :lol:

I wasn't trolling her. You can take my word for it that if I'm discussing Feminism, I'm entirely serious. Especially where such discussion is with a Feminist. Even one of the lowly foot soldiers.

 

[Gipper]

Or you could get a vasectomy

HAHAHAHA no

 

[radcen]

Yep, I had to have an early full hysterectomy as well, hence the 22 years of hotflashes. But again, some never have them, and some like me are plagued. BTW, the hormones for the few weeks I took them did not address the hotflashes anyway, not for me, though I do believe they work for some.

Men can get hot flashes, too, although it's fairly rare.

I've been getting them due to a specific medication I've been taking for about a year now. It's a well-known potential side-effect of this particular medication. No, they're not fun. The first few scared the you-know-what out of me because it was so weird and I didn't know what was happening. After doing some research I figured it out, and they're still not fun, but then I just rode them out.

I do have one benefit in that they only happen right after I take the medication, so I can predict, and even somewhat control, when they happen. They don't just pop up out of nowhere.

(I just recently stopped taking that medication for other reasons.)

 

[radcen]

Thank you to the several... mostly ladies... who have shared their experiences and knowledge. You have been a great help.

The reason I'm asking is that a good friend of mine is beginning menopause. She's 46. She's a normally very unemotional person, and she has always liked it that way. Some might almost an uncaring person, and there's some truth in that, too, in some ways.

Now, this is happening and it is throwing her for a loop. It's turned her world upside down and causing her to think and feel things that she had never felt before, and she doesn't like it.

 

[rabbitcaebannog]

Incredible.

How do such crises of identity come to the fore, where such involves mentality beyond the influence of 'hormones'. lulz

Hormones don't cause low self esteem. Many a women have entered menopause without going through an identity crisis just as many a man has gone through an identity crisis without entering menopause.

 

[sbrettt]

I wasn't trolling her. You can take my word for it that if I'm discussing Feminism, I'm entirely serious. Especially where such discussion is with a Feminist. Even one of the lowly foot soldiers.

Mhmm. :thumbs:

 

[SheWolf]

Why not? Are you afraid to? Think it will make you less of a man?

Or do you think you may want kids.

HAHAHAHA no

 

[SheWolf]

I am glad that you found what is right for you

Yep, I had to have an early full hysterectomy as well, hence the 22 years of hotflashes. But again, some never have them, and some like me are plagued. BTW, the hormones for the few weeks I took them did not address the hotflashes anyway, not for me, though I do believe they work for some.

 

[Gipper]

Why not? Are you afraid to? Think it will make you less of a man?

Or do you think you may want kids.

The former (jokingly). I'm almost 35 with no kids - and that's not by accident.

Also, that's the exact reason why, even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I've never met a doctor that will do a vasectomy on a childless man. Trust me, I've looked.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

The former (jokingly). I'm almost 35 with no kids - and that's not by accident.

Also, that's the exact reason why, even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I've never met a doctor that will do a vasectomy on a childless man. Trust me, I've looked.

Though I'm not disbelieving you, that doesn't seem accurate. I can't think of one logical reason why a doctor would refuse to do this.

 

[Gipper]

Though I'm not disbelieving you, that doesn't seem accurate. I can't think of one logical reason why a doctor would refuse to do this.

Fear of mind-changing. Apparently there's no reinforcement for not having kids better than actually having kids.

There's actually some logic to that - especially if all my mother said about me is true. And people wonder why I'm f'ed up...

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

Fear of mind-changing. Apparently there's no reinforcement for not having kids better than actually having kids.

There's actually some logic to that - especially if all my mother said about me is true. And people wonder why I'm f'ed up...

Since it's usually elective surgery, and if someone is stating that the absolutely do not want kids, I find it hard to believe that no doctor would agree to do this.

 

[radcen]

Though I'm not disbelieving you, that doesn't seem accurate. I can't think of one logical reason why a doctor would refuse to do this.

It has always been my understanding that was true "back in the day", and is still somewhat true for people in their 20s. However, times have changed, and a childless person in their mid-30s wouldn't have too hard a time finding someone to spay/neuter them if they tried hard enough.

 

[Gipper]

Since it's usually elective surgery, and if someone is stating that the absolutely do not want kids, I find it hard to believe that no doctor would agree to do this.

Well, as radcen has alluded to, I actually haven't checked recently. It was a while back. Perhaps now I may get a different answer. However, since I prefer older women and, for me, that usually means women in their 40s with baby-makers permanently shut down, it doesn't seem to be an issue. Plus, back in my 20s (when I wasn't in a relationship) I was prone to catting around. I mostly was protecting myself from the "suprirse, it's yours" fear I dreaded. Since I don't do the hook-up thing anymore, it just hasn't been an issue.

There's no reason to take the venom out of the cobra anymore, since it doesn't strike any animal it encounters anymore.

 

[NoC_T]

Hormones don't cause low self esteem. Many a women have entered menopause without going through an identity crisis just as many a man has gone through an identity crisis without entering menopause.

My point precisely.

 

[Superfly]

Lots of doctors refuse to do it for women because they are childless, or have maybe only one child. Makes sense they would tell a man no for the same reason. People do change their minds. I have a friend who had several abortions when she was young, and she's changed her mind now and wants kids, and can't have them.

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

Since it's usually elective surgery, and if someone is stating that the absolutely do not want kids, I find it hard to believe that no doctor would agree to do this.

Actually, he's right.

I went through a lot of doctors trying to get fixed.

I am involved in trying to get reproductive care resources to people in my free time, and I talk to a LOT of people who have had doctor after doctor refuse to sterilize them, even if they already have kids.

Doctors are people, and a lot of them are very judgmental about other people's reproductive choices. Even though I'm now fixed so there's no point in trying to talk me out of it, whenever I see a new doctor, they still get all uppity with me that I got fixed without children.

And speaking of...

The former (jokingly). I'm almost 35 with no kids - and that's not by accident.

Also, that's the exact reason why, even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I've never met a doctor that will do a vasectomy on a childless man. Trust me, I've looked.

Gip, if you want, I can try to see if there's someone in your area. As I recall, you're in Alabama, so it's probably not going to be easy, but there might be someone.

Believe it or not, it's actually easier for men to get it done than women.

 

[Gipper]

Actually, he's right.

I went through a lot of doctors trying to get fixed.

I am involved in trying to get reproductive care resources to people in my free time, and I talk to a LOT of people who have had doctor after doctor refuse to sterilize them, even if they already have kids.

Doctors are people, and a lot of them are very judgmental about other people's reproductive choices. Even though I'm now fixed so there's no point in trying to talk me out of it, whenever I see a new doctor, they still get all uppity with me that I got fixed without children.

And speaking of...



Gip, if you want, I can try to see if there's someone in your area. As I recall, you're in Alabama, so it's probably not going to be easy, but there might be someone.

Believe it or not, it's actually easier for men to get it done than women.

Appreciate it, but you don't have to worry about it. I haven't really felt like it was something I could do for a while now. It was mostly for my 20s when I had cause to look into it.

 

[lizzie]

Men don't define themselves in terms of sexuality, to anything like the same extent as do women. Men aren't conditioned to demand external reinforcement, as women are.

They may not think they do, but they do. Sexual prowess is one of the more powerful motivators among men.

 

[NoC_T]

They may not think they do, but they do. Sexual prowess is one of the more powerful motivators among men.

For some reason, the women on this thread seem capable only of recognising physicality. And here, I thought men were the ones who 'do their thinking between their legs'. lulz

 

[Summerwind]

Since it's usually elective surgery, and if someone is stating that the absolutely do not want kids, I find it hard to believe that no doctor would agree to do this.

My daughter is having the same problem. She is in the disabled adult care facility management, and just doesn't want kids. She spends all her time and on call focused on people who will be children til their deaths, and it makes perfect sense.... But no doc will let her have one, even though she does have moderate endometriosis which is likely to become worse as it was the reason for my hysterectomy and I believe that stuff is genetically predisposed.

Anyway, the point being, no one will give her a hysterectomy.