Well lets see...For the first 10 years of my life i was molested by my brother, then by a church friend (We had gone to a AME church [African Methodist Epesicpal...basicly methodist tho] when i was little, but it was just someplace to go and play and hang out for me, nothing to do with God at all, wasn't even really interested with the 'big guy upstairs'). I was suicidel at 6, tried to kill myself at 9 and again at 13. Throughout that i had becoem a big girl, cause i didn't know how to cope so i turned to food, in that i went through brutal ridicule and even beaten just because i was big. I went into a severe depression at 12, turned to cutting and suicide attempt for a second time, tehn onto an eating disorder (bullemia). I went to therapy, had medicines and what not...i was improving a bit, but all the medicines did was cure my 'chemical imbalence' not my heart.
In 7th-8th grade, there was a lot of bullying going on, i was basiclly all alone (very small school, only 19 people in my class) All of the friends ive grown up with since kindergarden have turned on me.
But this year, a new girl, Jordann, came to our class...we talked every once in a while, but i was too busy in my own problems to try and get to know her. But somethign just told me to make friends with her...then one day i had gone over her house after school, and we realized how much in common we had, we had basicly a heart to heart. She was a pastors kid, and so i was liek ok thats cool...and she had told me of that point in ehr life where she choose to follow God on her own. I wasn't really interested at the time about anything to deal with God, cause at that time i was convinced that there was none, and if so, then ill just go to hell then cause i really didn't care.
Throughout the summer, we kept in touch, even as she went on her missions trip to Jamacia. Then when the next shcool year came, we went to different highschools...I had become a partyer, and i started drinking, but i never had sex, but the way teens dance now a days (esp. partys i went to) if was darned near sex, but with clothes on...but i started going to her youth group, and thats when my life started to change.
I saw the way she lived, with her struggles and triaumphs in the Lord, and it inspired me. She didn't try and talk to me about him, only if i wanted to, and the youth pastor then, Janele...was amazing. She showed me what true christ-like love was, I never felt that...not from anyone, not my parents...she actually cared about me! She could see right through the mask that ive learned to put on that made my life seem like it was great on the outside...and it opened my eyes and my heart to see that there is a God out there who loves me more then anything, and hates what ive been doing to myself, and wants to take my pains from me so I can live freely in his name.
At this point, I wanted to know the Lord. I wanted to feel the joy through the pain that everyone around me felt, I wanted to live an honerable life and have the relationship with Jesus that is so precious.
So my first major turning point experirence was at Aquire the Fire, it's a convention that is done all over the US. to teach kids about Christ. (A branch of Teen Mania- www.battlecry.com
It was there where I experienced Christ breaking through the walls in my heart, and i just gave my all to him. Right then and there, I decided the live for him...that is where i got saved, and many other people in my youth group did too.
Then the opprotunity to go on a missions trip with Teen Mania to South Africa came up, and i jumped on it. This past summer, I learned so much on taht trip, i grew so much more in my relationship...bonded with people who have been true christians (meaning not just by name, but by life) longer then I have...and they keep me accountable as I do them.
Just because i have embarked on thi new path in Jesus, doesn't mean i wont ever slip back into my old behaviors(Lord knows i have)...but having friends who keep my accountable and are always there for a shoulder to cry on when the devil trips me up and i give into the temptation that he gives me, and i feel the incredible guilt about it.
Since I've gotten back to school, ive found it a bit hard to fit in, and heck, i might even loose some of my friends soon...but you know what? That probably the best thing, cause as much as I want to reach out to them, i don't want to force them and i don't need them bringing me back down to the place where I used to be. And I always have my church friends...who are as on fire for the Lord as I am.
No matter what anyone tells me, or what kind of 'proof' they give me to disprove the exsistence of God...it wont sway me. I know what he has done for me in my life, because I saught him will all my heart...and he has blessed me 10 fold because of it.
And there ya go:lol: