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Polygamy, what you didn't know...

Datamonkee

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Many people think of polygamy as wrong or outdated. Many also think that it is illegal. Both are wrong. You can marry as many women or men as you like. You cannot REGISTER more than one with our current government. In other words, you cannot cash in on the obvious breaks that married couples receive just because they sign a piece of paper.

Look at the issue of the career minded mom. Not every mom wants a career, but with a multiple marriage, she can follow her career, and be sure that her children are taken care of and loved.

http://www.polygamy.com/Practical/Polygamy-Could-Help-Moms-Who-Work.htm
“It seems like a pretty good idea for professional women, who can proceed with their careers and have someone at home they can trust to watch their children. It solves the day care problem” said Luci Malin, vice chairman of Utah NOW in a telephone interview Monday.

“This isn’t blatant support for polygamy...But maybe it can work for some people, and maybe it can make raising children easier” for those trying to juggle careers and motherhood” said Ellen George, state secretary for Utah NOW.

And how about how prevalent it is? Many cultures grew and expanded on this practice.
http://www.polygamy.com/Other-Globally-Polygamy-Is-Commonplace.htm

Polygamy may be abhorrent to most Americans, but in the global community it is common, normal and accepted.

Although the percentage of men in the world who have more than one wife is relatively small, as many as a third of the world's population belongs to a community that allows it, says Israeli anthropologist Joseph Ginat.

There are many plural marriages in Africa, the Middle East and in Asia, said Ginat, professor of social and culture anthropology at the University of Haifa.

Many American Indian tribes allow polygamy; several experimental Christian groups practice it. And, of course, there are those famous offshoots of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Polygamy is the most prevalent in Muslim countries where there are no laws against it, and in communities that are more traditional and agrarian.

How about the comment on how it "devalues" women?

http://www.context.org/ICLIB/IC10/Anapol.htm
http://www.absalom.com/mormon/contrib/women-want-polygamy.html
http://www.polygamy.com/Practical/Ultimate.htm
I've often said that if polygamy didn't exist, the modern American career woman would have invented it.
Because, despite its reputation, polygamy is the one lifestyle that offers an independent woman a real
chance to "have it all".

One of my heroes is Dr. Martha Hughes Cannon, a physician and a plural wife who in 1896 became the
first woman legislator in any U.S. state or territory. Dr. Cannon once said, "You show me a woman who
thinks about something besides cookstoves and washtubs and baby flannels, and I will show you nine
times out of ten a successful mother". With all due respect, Gloria Steinem has nothing on Dr. Cannon.

As a journalist, I work many unpredictable hours in a fast-paced environment. The news determines my
schedule. But am I calling home, asking my husband to please pick up the kids and pop something in the
microwave and get them to bed on time just in case I'm really late? Because of my plural marriage
arrangement, I don't have to worry. I know that when I have to work late my daughter will be at home
surrounded by loving adults with whom she is comfortable and who know her schedule without my telling
them. My eight-year-old has never seen the inside of a day-care center, and my husband has never eaten
a TV dinner. And I know that when I get home from work, if I'm dog-tired and stressed-out, I can be
alone and guilt-free. It's a rare day when all eight of my husband's wives are tired and stressed at the
same time.

As for the economic recession that I saw someone mention, I don't see how that would be possible with the particular scenario for polygamy that I have seen. It allows for more people to actually work and yet have children taken care of an loved. It reduces the stress of the emotional issues of whether or not your husband/wife is cheating on you. This makes for a happy worker. A happy worker makes more money.
:twocents:

What do you think?
 

talloulou

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If my man thinks I need help taking care of the house he can hire a MAID. I don't share my man though I'm sure if he thought I'd accept it he'd be all for it. :eek:

Polygamy is the most prevalent in Muslim countries where there are no laws against
Are we actually viewing that as a pro? I can't remember the last time I heard someone say the US should really act more like those predominately Muslim role model countries.

Plus I love all the stuff about how these extra wives are gonna help me cook, clean, and care for the children. Yeah right...I can see the arguments now "YOU DO IT!"

"WHY SHOULD I?" "NO, YOU DO IT!"

And every polygamy group I have ever seen on TV has always had a "head" wife, top dog if you will. Who wants to be the underdogs? Not to mention the "head" wife is usually the oldest and the rest are successively younger and younger. The last thing I want is my husband adding a new girl who's younger every couple of years.

Good Grief

Plus do you realize women who live together get their periods at the same time? No house should have more than one woman bleeding at once in my opinion.
 
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Korimyr the Rat

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Datamonkee said:
Many people think of polygamy as wrong or outdated.

I generally lean towards being in favor of polygamy, but I do think that the most common form of polygamy-- polygyny, one man having multiple wives-- is toxic when combined with traditional gender roles.

I also think that, were polygamy legal, only allowing men to have multiple spouses would violate the principle of equal protection, much in the same way that prohibiting homosexual marriage does. I could even argue that it violates this principle moreso, since men and women are equally prohibited from homosexual marriage.

I wouldn't mention this, other than that the linked site only advocates polygny and actively speaks out against polyandry and other forms of multiple marriage.

Datamonkee said:
Many also think that it is illegal. ... You cannot REGISTER more than one with our current government.

By that standard, homosexual marriage is also fully legal and there's no reason for people to be arguing over it.

I think that any argument concerning marriage rights should necessarily focus on governmentally-recognized marriage, since we have no control over what other types of marriage various churches will endorse.

Datamonkee said:
What do you think?

I think it's a complicated issue, and one that would need considerable examination before society could make any effective changes.

In general, I support the idea that people who wish multiple spouses should be allowed to marry them-- particularly since it would provide legal stability for the children produced by these kinds of marriages. I also think that, given our current economic and social conditions, having more than two parents per household is probably necessary.
 

paulmarkj

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Studies have shown (though I on't have the time to dig one out) that in societies that have a shortage of females for whatever reason suffer, or should U say the women suffer.

Polygamy reduces the number of women available for most men (eg: if the male:female ratio is 1:1 then for every man that has 5 wives, there are 4 men who can have no wives.)

Now, it might look at first sight that this empowers women because women get a greater choice of men, if they want, or, as someone pointed out, they get less burden at home. But it does not work like this.

Women become chattel, valued as a wife but when in scarce supply, they are often traded. Sometimes between families (eg: if you have a son and a daughter, your valuable daughter can be traded for a wife for your son, who otherwise would probably go without) and sometime captured and sold on.

This has happened in many countries, often following disasters that kill many women. For example, the UN is worried about tsunami hit countires where more women died than men.

As for women being able to pursue their careers in multiple marraige: this was not covered in the reports I read, but my guess is that men who want several wives are not doing so because they want to further their careers.

I've seen documentries about the Mormon polygamy and the conclusions were not good. A shortage of females leads to girls being married off at the earliest opportunity, at an age that in England would be considered to be illega, but apparently legal in the US, perhaps a subject of a different thread.
 

tecoyah

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In my experience, very few women see this as a viable concept, and to me at least....this is THE most importand opinion. I would think most men would be for multiple partners in this situation (also from experience I will say its a hell of alot of work) but, if the communication, and understanding is not there.....relationships suffer dramatically.
While economically Polygamy may seem a valid path to take, many variables come into play besides the financial benefits....some of which were addressed by
talloulou in her post. We men can discuss the benefits all we want , but it is the women who have the final say in acceptance of this lifestyle, and to be honest...you better be one hell of a man if you think you can keep more than one woman happy, and I dont just mean sex.
 

Blue Collar Joe

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talloulou said:
If my man thinks I need help taking care of the house he can hire a MAID. I don't share my man though I'm sure if he thought I'd accept it he'd be all for it. :eek:

Are we actually viewing that as a pro? I can't remember the last time I heard someone say the US should really act more like those predominately Muslim role model countries.

Plus I love all the stuff about how these extra wives are gonna help me cook, clean, and care for the children. Yeah right...I can see the arguments now "YOU DO IT!"

"WHY SHOULD I?" "NO, YOU DO IT!"

And every polygamy group I have ever seen on TV has always had a "head" wife, top dog if you will. Who wants to be the underdogs? Not to mention the "head" wife is usually the oldest and the rest are successively younger and younger. The last thing I want is my husband adding a new girl who's younger every couple of years.

Good Grief

Plus do you realize women who live together get their periods at the same time? No house should have more than one woman bleeding at once in my opinion.


More than one wife? Just shoot me now, please. I love my wife, been married 24 years, but I'd be double damned and dipped in dookie before I'd ever want a second.
The two are to become as one. Not a harem.
Sorry, I may live in what is called a tradtional house, but I draw the line at the lame excuse it is easier. I'll deal with having to work more hours than have my wife 'sharing' me.
 

Datamonkee

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Everyone keeps attacking this from a polygyny point of view. I bring up Polygamy, though most of the viewpoints I posted were of women who enjoyed their multiple marriages. Successful multiple marriages. As with any marriage there has to be a mutual respect by the partners, be it 2 or 6. With women becoming more of a driving force in our cultures, and becoming more sexually empowered, polyandry should become more prevalent. A balancing of polygamy.

As for the gay marriage comment. Re-read what I said. It is illegal to register more than one marriage due to the fact that marriage has so many financial and legal benefits. You cannot have multiple marriage contracts. Gay marriage cannot have any, but they can have the ceremony, and that is a different issue.

As for the arguments on who does house work, that is irrelevant. Married couples do that now. That is just part of the work required to make a marriage viable. You must work with the other people in the marriage to define what each is bringing to the relationship. It is the same with a couple. You share housework. If your basis for denying a relationship is because of the arguments over housework, then you really don't have a point. All relationships have arguments, discussions and debates over who does what, and who does what more. Adding more people doesn't change that.

talloulou said:
And every polygamy group I have ever seen on TV has always had a "head" wife, top dog if you will. Who wants to be the underdogs? Not to mention the "head" wife is usually the oldest and the rest are successively younger and younger. The last thing I want is my husband adding a new girl who's younger every couple of years.

There is a pecking order to any group of people, it is the human thing to do. There are leaders and there are followers. The idea of a multiple partner marriage is that it is a group making decisions. If you do not want more partner's brought in, then you make that known. Communication is the key. I don't advocate polygamy so that the male sex drive can do whomever he wants just to keep from "cheating". If your husband is looking for someone younger, you need to re-evaluate your lifestyle. Sitting around eating bon-bons and not playing an active role in your husband's life is the fastest way for him to look for someone younger.

Paulmarkj~ Your argument would be valid if we were talking 200 years ago. But OUR culture, our society would not "trade" people in marriages. I'm not talking destroying 2 person marriages, I'm talking about creating a more prevalent system of multiple person marriages and erasing the stigma that accompanies women who enjoy multiple partners. It is hypocritical to say that men are virile or more desirable because of multiple partners, but women are whores.
 
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