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Phuc YOU! And Anyone that Looks Like YOU!.....WARNING:18 AND OLDER ONLY!

Billo_Really

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If you have to abandon diplomacy, and just let it out and say the meanest F___ing $hit that comes to mind just to get it off your chest, then this is the mother of all hate threads.

If you just want to tell off color jokes of any kind, then come on down.

This is the thread where anything goes. No rules, are the rules. As long as they are within compliance with all local codes and ordinances.
Phuc that $hit.....I said NO RULES!

And Phuc you too. And anyone who looks like you!

I just need a place to go to blow off some steam. Is that wrong?

Joke: What do you get when a blonde stands on her hands? A brunette
with bad breath.

Joke: What does Woody Allen and a tortoise have in common? They both
came before the hair!
 
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Arch Enemy

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My car sometimes makes a "AHHHH" (translated into Car-Talk, of course) when I turn it on after filling it up with gas..

... I almost laughed at that Jew joke, then I remembered "Thou shalt not make fun of the Jews, fore they'll body-slam your arse."
 
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FiremanRyan

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why did so many black people die during the Vietnam War?



because when their Srgt. told them to get down they all stood up and started dancing.
 

JustineCredible

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Why is a racist like a drunk?


***Because whatever they say ends in a slur.


Why is a racist like a dog?


***Because they both mark out territory by spraying walls.

What's red and white and peels itself?



***A white supremist trying to get a suntan.

What's the definition of confused?


***A white supremist watching the mens 100m sprint.

What do you get when you cross a white supremist with a donkey?

***Someone who thinks the sun shines out of their own ass.

What do you call a bigot who does well on an IQ test?


**A cheat.

Why is a bigot like the announcer at a racetrack?


***Because they both start shouting the instant they see a new race.

What's the difference between a schoolyard racist and Adolf Hitler?


***Opportunity.

What are the best four years of a racist's life?


***Year 6.

Why do racists hang around in gangs?



***So they can form a dope ring.

Why didn't the racist cross the road?


***She was afraid of the other side.

How many racists does it take to change a light bulb?


***None - racists hate being enlightened.

Have you heard about the racist who choked on his yogurt?


***Someone told him it grew out of a foreign culture.

Why do racists compete with others on the basis of color?


***Because if they competed on brains, they'd lose.

Why did the racist punch out the immigrants?


***Because if you can't join 'em, beat 'em.
 

JustineCredible

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galenrox said:
:rofl those are fantastic, where'd you get those?
What do you get when a mexican and an asian have a baby?
A car theif that can't drive!
You sure you're from Evanston and not West Chicago? (Or Wet Chicano...for us locals)
 

JustineCredible

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galenrox said:
lol, quite certain. where're you from?
St. Charles. Was born in the city, lived there for about five years and then out here to the Far Western Boring burbs. Although, my dad commuted to the city most of my childhood, and so Mom and I tended to hang in the old neighborhood a lot.
Rogers Park and Andersonville.
 

Naughty Nurse

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How do you stop a bigot from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

What do you call an intelligent man in Texas?
A tourist.
 

JustineCredible

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galenrox said:
You ever roll by safariland in Villa Park? I swear to God that it the coolest ****ing place on earth!
I've rolled by, but never went in. Kinda partial to the geeky stuff myself. A.S.S. is our favorite store, especially when my brother and I are competing for Geo-caching.
I always have to make sure I snag all the devil duckies before he tries to use them!
 

Billo_Really

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Originally posted by galenrox:
What do you do if a nigger's dancing on your lawn?
Stop laughing and reload!

Why's there a blue man on my front porch?
He's my nigger, I'll paint him any color that I please!
What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four!
 

JustineCredible

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galenrox said:
How about Nickle City on Waukegan?
You mean the one up in Northbrook? Too far, I used to take my son to the one in Bolingbrook. But now we all prefer Dave & Busters in Addison. (Armpit of America)
 

JustineCredible

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galenrox said:
I thought Dave & Busters was 21 and older?

Nope, it's a family place. Yeah, they serve alcohol, and for that they card everyone...even ME!! But the place is open to all ages, at least until 10pm. But if you're already in the place before that time, they don't kick you out. The age limit enforced at the door and only at certain times.
I've taken my family there several times. It's great!
Good food too!
If you don't want to be stuck waiting for a table for three hours, I suggest you go during the week though. Fridays and Saturdays it's packed, and the waiting list for dining is awful.

But, you can eat in the arcade as well. They have tables and a full bar there too.

Again, you will get carded so, don't try it.

My son has taken his girlfriend there twice this summer already! They go with a couple other couples all around the same ages...16, 17. They always have a great time! My son's already earned enough points to be a Gold Card member! He's saving his points, he hasn't decided what for yet.

This month they're running a summer special too. Buy one/Get one for appetizers, but it might be for card holders only. But that's really easy to remedy. The first time you go, you purchase a D&B card with credits on it for game play. Keep your card!!! Don't toss it at the end of the night or when you run out of credits!
You can save it, turn in your tickets, get your points added to your card and recharge credits with the same card.

Go to their website and sign up for email and register your card once you get it.

Check out their website anyway, before you go. It's a fairly cool place.

Dave & Buster's
 

cnredd

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Was that a paid endorsement?
 

cnredd

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I'm sorry...

That was such a non-Picadorian thing for me to say :)
 

JustineCredible

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cnredd said:
I'm sorry...

That was such a non-Picadorian thing for me to say :)
Not well done as a Picador though, as it did not upset me at all. I was already laughing from something shuamort said in another thread.
 

cnredd

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teacher said:
What's black and brown and looks good on an Arab?

A Doberman.

Does anyone know any white jokes? (Besides redneck ones)
I remember Mister Jefferson saying that black parties have "pin the tail on the honkey"
 

JustineCredible

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A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My Daddy's got a car. When he honks the horn it goes, 'honkey honkey'".

Little white boy says, "****, my Daddy got a chain saw, when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run!
 

JustineCredible

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Afgani TV Guide

MONDAY

8:00 - "Husseinfeld"

8:30 - "Mad About Everything"

9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"

9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"

10:00 - "Allah McBeal"

TUESDAY:

8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"

8:30 - "The Price is Right If Osama Says It's Right"

9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"

9:30 - "Afganistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"

10:00 - "Buffy The Infidel Slayer"

WEDNESDAY:

8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"

8:30 - "When The Northern Alliance Attacks"

9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"

9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"

10:00 - "Veilwatch"

THURSDAY:

8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"

8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"

9:00 - "Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"

9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"

10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"



FRIDAY:

8:00 - "Judge Laden"

8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"

9:00 - "Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things"

9:30 - "Achmed's Creek"

10:00 - "No-witness News"
 

Billo_Really

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Originally posted by teacher:
Does anyone know any white jokes? (Besides redneck ones)
I do. Although I think I already posted this one. In any event, ask and you shall receive.

Why do they make aspirin white?

So it will work!
 

Zyphlin

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Alright, watch as I simultaneously make blacks and jews want to kill me with the worst racist joke I know.

What do you tell a black jew?





.....Get to the back of the oven
 

cnredd

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Zyphlin said:
Alright, watch as I simultaneously make blacks and jews want to kill me with the worst racist joke I know.

What do you tell a black jew?

.....Get to the back of the oven
Sammy Davis Jr. gets on a bus
Bus driver says "Hey, darky...get to the back."
Sammy says, "But I'm Jewish"
Bus driver :"Get off."

What do you get Sammy Davis Jr. for his birthday?
A half a bottle of Visine.
 
H

HTColeman

What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!

What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.

What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
A Dope Ring!

What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.

Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.

What did they white guy do before his blood test?
He studied.

How long does it take for a white women to take a crap???
9 months

What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.

How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!

OOHHH!!! Go HT, go HT, go HT....
 
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