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Parents that let their kids sleep between them every night in bed.

Josie

Josie

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We're having this discussion on another forum and I thought I'd ask it here.

Do you/Would you let your kids sleep between you and your spouse every night?
 
No, but she's 29 and my husband and I live in two different counties, anyway.

Sorry. Personally I wouldn't, but there are many who do and for some reason that makes sense to them. I don't think it hurts the kids any - I don't know how it would affect a marriage.
 
Mellie said:
We're having this discussion on another forum and I thought I'd ask it here.

Do you/Would you let your kids sleep between you and your spouse every night?
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I think it's weird. I can see if a child is having nightmares, but, as a general rule, I think it's a strange habit. Why would one do that? That'd be my question.
 
I think it starts at birth, and for bonding. I shall Google 'co-sleep'
 
BDBoop said:
I think it starts at birth, and for bonding. I shall Google 'co-sleep'
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It would be patently unsafe to sleep with a new-born baby in bed with one or two adults. It's more than bonding...there's something strange going on.
 
MaggieD said:
I think it's weird. I can see if a child is having nightmares, but, as a general rule, I think it's a strange habit. Why would one do that? That'd be my question.
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This mother I'm talking with says she's close to her child and it's a bonding experience. She claims hubby enjoys it too.
 
Mellie said:
This mother I'm talking with says she's close to her child and it's a bonding experience. She claims hubby enjoys it too.
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Yeah, I'm not surprised mother enjoys it. I think it's all about that. I probably shoulddn't call it weird, but I think there's something going on in mom's psyche that finds positive reinforcement in the practice. I can see why a nursing mom would want to keep baby in bed; it's a lot easier, yes? But is it safe?? I don't know how one could be sure that one or the other parent would be in deep sleep and roll over on top of a sleeping baby -- or throw an arm out that could injure it....?
 
In times when you had one room houses and no central heating, this was pretty standard procedure in a lot of cultures, especially in cold climates. Likely, it still goes on in many parts of the world. Bed sharing used to be a more pragmatic and less sexual than it is today.
 
This wasn't a baby. I believe her child is school-age.
 
rathi said:
In times when you had one room houses and no central heating, this was pretty standard procedure in a lot of cultures, especially in cold climates. Likely, it still goes on in many parts of the world. Bed sharing used to be a more pragmatic and less sexual than it is today.
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Totally agree for the reasoning years ago. And in different cultures. I don't think of it as sexual in nature. I think of it as serving some neurotic emotions on the part of mom.

Mellie said: This wasn't a baby. I believe her child is school-age.
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I don't understand that any more than I understand mothers who choose to nurse their older children. Just....weird.
 
I remember back in the late 70's when I was in my pregnancy years, there was a small movement geared toward letting the kids sleep with the parents for years into childhood. It was called "the family bed", and I remember Phil Donahue shows about it. I thought it was nuts then, and I think it's nuts now.:)
 
Mellie said:
We're having this discussion on another forum and I thought I'd ask it here.

Do you/Would you let your kids sleep between you and your spouse every night?
Click to expand...


Now and then, sure.

EVERY night? No, I don't think that's a good idea, barring some unusual circumstances. The kid or kids need to learn to sleep alone, and the parents need some privacy and couple-time.
 
Absolutely not. There is a woman I work with who is a single mom who does this. I think it's a terrible policy to have. First, as a single mom, I have to establish that my room is MY TERRITORY. It's where I go to have private time, and do private things, like getting dressed. Just like I rarely invade their private space, I do not allow them to invade me. Secondly, ugh. Her son is 12. He doesn't need to be up on his mom's body at this point in his life. And lastly, it interferes with the child's sleep cycle. They need to learn to put themselves back to sleep when they wake up at night.

I understand that people do it for comfort, but I think it's a bad policy.
 
What I was thinking talking to her is that her and her hubby don't have sex all that often at all. She wouldn't comment on that only to say it was none of my business. I can't see a husband being okay with not being able to have sex with his wife in their own bed at night.
 
It's another subject, but sometimes marriage is cyclical on that front. Life happens, libidos plummet, stuff doesn't happen due to stress - and then TEQUILA and life returns to normal.

Not speaking from personal experience or anything. </boldfaced lie>


Mellie said:
What I was thinking talking to her is that her and her hubby don't have sex all that often at all. She wouldn't comment on that only to say it was none of my business. I can't see a husband being okay with not being able to have sex with his wife in their own bed at night.
Click to expand...
 
Mellie said:
We're having this discussion on another forum and I thought I'd ask it here.

Do you/Would you let your kids sleep between you and your spouse every night?
Click to expand...

No way.
Okay maybe once or twice if he is young and is scared of the dark. But nightly? No no.
 
I would be ok with it so long as it is not over 9. And not nightly maybe once or twice a week and not more.
 
Did anybody see "Once Around"? There's a scene where Holly Hunter goes and crawls in bed with her parents. They turn over in unison. It was sort of adorable to see that fully grown woman giving the basic "scootch over, I need my mommy".
 
Mellie said:
We're having this discussion on another forum and I thought I'd ask it here.

Do you/Would you let your kids sleep between you and your spouse every night?
Click to expand...

My three year old still sleeps with us often and he did entirely up to a few months ago. Other then getting a heel in my ribs every once in awhile I don't see anything wrong with it. On the plus side, my wife can't kick me in her sleep anymore. Infant/toddler I don't see it much of an issue. After that though, it is a little weird, I agree with Maggie on that.
 
Before the shift from always to periodically, did he ever say anything about when he gets a big boy bed or anything? Just a curiosity issue.

I know when mine was an infant, it was so much easier just having her in bed with me, especially when it came to nursing. I remember one time she cried and I woke up in midair on my way to her crib. That was bizarre.


mac said:
My three year old still sleeps with us often and he did entirely up to a few months ago. Other then getting a heel in my ribs every once in awhile I don't see anything wrong with it. On the plus side, my wife can't kick me in her sleep anymore. Infant/toddler I don't see it much of an issue. After that though, it is a little weird, I agree with Maggie on that.
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Mellie said:
What I was thinking talking to her is that her and her hubby don't have sex all that often at all. She wouldn't comment on that only to say it was none of my business. I can't see a husband being okay with not being able to have sex with his wife in their own bed at night.
Click to expand...

After you've had a few kids....all you want to do at night is sleep.
 
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Mellie said:
We're having this discussion on another forum and I thought I'd ask it here.

Do you/Would you let your kids sleep between you and your spouse every night?
Click to expand...

Nope. Not 'all night' and not at any age on a routine basis. Sometimes - when it gets cold in the house, the power is out or if one of the kids have a nightmare and can't sleep, etc - but tehse things are occasionally.

I couldn't tolerate a child in bed with me - I need my space, my distance to be comfortable. I need my privacy - with my husband - and some solitude.
 
I got in trouble for sidestepping the filter, you might want to edit. :)
 
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