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Outhouse Rules

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The limerick is named after the City or County of Limerick in Ireland where in the late 19th century a group of local poets produced some notable nonsense verse.


I

Ol' "Beerbohm" thought life was just splendid,
And every man's right to defend it—
Man's soul was his own,
Man's flesh and Man's bone—
But above all Man's right to pretend it.




II

Having cured himself of the addiction,
Ol' "Beerbohm" escaped Love's affliction.
To all he said "Rats!"—
Save dogs, mothers and cats—
Who received from him fond benediction.


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III

That Right Monkey's Uncle Called Man
fancies Life on Earth catch-as-catch-can—
Some random Big Bang—
Voila! Claw and Fang!—
Gorillini yet know there's a Plan.


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IV

Sure you've all heard of old Moby-Dick—
That unfath'mable whale of Old Nick!
So keep to the jetty!
Forgo spermaceti!
Or beware, of that Great Tail, the Flick!


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V

The state of the state is most tragical,
Our political tricks most unmagical—
In their diet of rants,
Shibboleths and dire chants,
Partisans are anthropophagical.


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VI

A shutterbug made quite the blunder
Exposing for lightning for thunder.
He said, "It's a fair cop"—
"Couldn't find the f-stop"—
"But that's how we roll here downunder!"


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VII

Mankind frets the outcome of things
fearing fortune's fell arrows and slings.
But be of good cheer!
You don't have to fear!
It ain't over till the fat lady sings!


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VIII

There once was a farmer from Bristol
Who scared away crows with a pistol.
When his wife gave him hell,
He scared her as well—
And hit all her Waterford crystal.


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IX

A frustrating fellow, Godot—
He keeps people waiting, you know.
And this is absurd,
He always sends word—
Same time, same place, but tomorrow.


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X

There once was a cat who aspired
to a wisdom few men have acquired
He did not go to college
yet acquired self-knowledge
through the thinking a mirror inspired.


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theliq

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Angel

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Thank you. Limericks are fun! :)
 

Angel

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C'mon. folks! Don't be shy!
 
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