One question only--How would allowing gay marriage affect YOUR marriage? (1 Viewer)

[aps]

PLEASE KEEP THIS ON TOPIC.

I just want those posting in this thread to tell me how their own heterosexual marriage would be impacted by allowing gay people to marry.

Some things I would like you to consider:
Would it affect your commitment?
Would it affect your sex life?
Would it affect how you feel about your spouse?
Would you fight more?
Would you communicate less?
Would it affect your relationship with other people?
Would you look the other person differently?
Would it increase the chances of your getting separted?
Would it increase the changes of your getting divorced?

This is really for those who oppose to gay marriage. I don't want to hear about religion at all. So if it's because of religion that you oppose gay marriage, ignore this thread please.

I promise I won't criticize your NON-RELIGIOUS reasons. I just need to understand where you're coming from.

 

[zymurgy]

it wouldn't.

It wouldn't do much of anything except further erode individual freedom - namely individuals that employ others.

 

[Wide Latitude]

Wow, we agree for a change. Gay marriage wouldn't personally affect ANYONE'S marriage. Not even mine, if I were married.

 

[Captain America]

Wouldn't bother me or my wife a bit. We are not threatened by homosexuality in the least. We are quite comfortable being hetrosexuals. We do not require a law keeping us that way.

 

[zymurgy]

Wow, we agree for a change. Gay marriage wouldn't personally affect ANYONE'S marriage. Not even mine, if I were married.

I'm sure that was the point of this thread. Narrow the debate subject down to such a fine line, everybody agrees.

Its like asking, would legalized murder effect how you treated people around you.

 

[Sir_Alec]

it wouldn't.

It wouldn't do much of anything except further erode individual freedom - namely individuals that employ others.

So you think denying freedoms to tax paying citizens is not eroding individual freedoms already? How does employment get affected by this. Gay people want the right to make their love official with the government and to have the rights all other people have. :roll:

 

[zymurgy]

So you think denying freedoms to tax paying citizens is not eroding individual freedoms already? How does employment get affected by this. Gay people want the right to make their love official with the government and to have the rights all other people have. :roll:

marriage isn't a right.

Life, liberty, property.

Now, the actual act of two consenting adults, I would say that fits into liberty. But to say that having your relationship formally approved by a govermenty body as a right? Sorry, not buying.

 

[Jerry]

marriage isn't a right.

Life, liberty, property.

Now, the actual act of two consenting adults, I would say that fits into liberty. But to say that having your relationship formally approved by a govermenty body as a right? Sorry, not buying.

Marriage is a right:
From Loving -v- Virginia, section 2:

The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men.
Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival.

Question is: can you show how homosexuality is a psychosexual disorder, or how allowing same-sex 'marriage would harm anyone?

 

[zymurgy]

Marriage is a right:
From Loving -v- Virginia, section 2:

Question is: can you show how homosexuality is a psychosexual disorder, or how allowing same-sex 'marriage would harm anyone?

the court systems also gave us the elastic clause.

 

[Jerry]

the court systems also gave us the elastic clause.

Which can not succeed unless one can satisfactorily answer my question.

 

[Captain America]

I am a fool for even wasting my time even debating a topic that is so far down on the list of priorities for this country. But as they say, when in Rome.....

But if I were to see anything good out of the total waste of time it would be that this is a shining example of the Bush administration and his desire to rally a base that is leaving his camp in droves. It is such an obvious political maneuver that even the blind can see. It's all they are commenting on on the newschannels it seems, yet some cannot see it at all. The emerior's suit is just fine, thank you. There is not a bat's chance in hell of this thing ever passing.

This is a time when he could be trying to unite the country, but no, as usual in the Rove modus operandi, he chooses to make the headlines using another devisive tactic to drive the wedge further between our citizens.

What's next? Flag burning? Or some other emotional non-issue trumped up to veer the attention away from the reality of a failed administration? Or, perhaps some other moral battle cry to rally the simpletons? Remember, a vote is a vote. It matters not if it from a Harvard professor or an eighth grade drop-out in Heatwave, Alabama.

Truly, there are those that strive on conflict and confrontation. And more times than not, they can be found standing over there on the..... well, you know.:roll: They eat this kinda sh** up. They start threads similar to this one just to stink things up.

Gay marriage. Much adoo about nothing. If Mr. Bush wants to impress me, let's talk about what we're gonna do about education, borders, budget deficit, the quagmire in the ME. Tell me what his plan is to get all of us rowing the same boat once again.

I'm not gonna hold my breath. I am gonna watch him drive us all further apart instead. It won't be much longer, I keep telling myself. Patience is a virtue.

 

[RightinNYC]

Marriage is a right:
From Loving -v- Virginia, section 2:

Question is: can you show how homosexuality is a psychosexual disorder, or how allowing same-sex 'marriage would harm anyone?

And the legal response to that would be "Yes, marriage has been declared by the court to be a fundamental right. But the state DOES have the right to limit who a person can exercise that right WITH. Just as we have laws limiting what ages can marry or how many people one can marry, the state is entitled to regulate which gender can marry which gender, as long as it can show a compelling interest."

No right, even those determined to be "fundamental," is free of abrogation by the government in certain circumstances. And while I might not agree with it, every state and the federal government continue to argue that they have a compelling interest.

The only way to settle this thing is for the SC to step in or an amendment to be passed. Since neither is likely, we can look forward to years more of position being mischaracterized, fear tactics on both sides being spouted, and gays enjoying their status as a political football.

God bless America.

 

[FallingPianos]

I just want those posting in this thread to tell me how their own heterosexual marriage would be impacted by allowing gay people to marry...
...This is really for those who oppose to gay marriage.

ok, I dont really count but...

Would it affect your commitment? not at first
Would it affect your sex life? no
Would it affect how you feel about your spouse? eventually
Would you fight more? supposing he's homophobic, yes.
Would you communicate less? yes because of the fighting
Would it affect your relationship with other people? the fighting will make me depressed and unsociable
Would you look the other person differently? im going to get sick of the homophobic bastard
Would it increase the chances of your getting separted? certainly after all that
Would it increase the changes of your getting divorced? divorce will be a certainty if gay marriage is allowed!

 

[aps]

ok, I dont really count but...

Would it affect your commitment? not at first
Would it affect your sex life? no
Would it affect how you feel about your spouse? eventually
Would you fight more? supposing he's homophobic, yes.
Would you communicate less? yes because of the fighting
Would it affect your relationship with other people? the fighting will make me depressed and unsociable
Would you look the other person differently? im going to get sick of the homophobic bastard
Would it increase the chances of your getting separted? certainly after all that
Would it increase the changes of your getting divorced? divorce will be a certainty if gay marriage is allowed!

You know, star, I hadn't thought of it that way. Interesting.

 

[Jerry]

PLEASE KEEP THIS ON TOPIC.

I just want those posting in this thread to tell me how their own heterosexual marriage would be impacted by allowing gay people to marry.........This is really for those who oppose to gay marriage. I don't want to hear about religion at all. So if it's because of religion that you oppose gay marriage, ignore this thread please.

I promise I won't criticize your NON-RELIGIOUS reasons. I just need to understand where you're coming from

Sorry, but when it comes to marriage, it is imposable to exclude religion from a conversation, as one's commitment to a spouse has everything to do with personal value systems.

It's like trying to discuss investments while excluding the American economy. Try as you mite, it will come up.

Some things I would like you to consider:

Would it affect your commitment?
It would reinforce my commitment, as the legalization of same-sex 'marriage is further proof of Abrahamic prophecy and thus the legitimacy of Abrahamic traditions.

Would it affect your sex life?
Mmmmm, no. But it could effect my child’s future sex life.

Would it affect how you feel about your spouse?
As before, I would be even more dedicated to my marriage.

Would you fight more?
Only if the state curriculum requires, like, a gay-history coarse, or something. As that would certainly create tension in the home.

Would you communicate less?
Mmmmm, no.

Would it affect your relationship with other people?
Yes.
I can not refer to a man's legal male spouse as a husband, nor a woman's legal female spouse as a wife, as that, when compared to objective truth, would be a lie.

That may create tensions with people.

It comes down to tact. I'll just have to learn more of it. However, unless I completely comply with every popular idea forced upon me I'll be labeled and defamed. That is, after all, the third step in propagandizing an issue: Label all those left who refuse to comply.

Would you look the other person differently?
Who? My wife? I would look at her in a better light, if anything.

Would it increase the chances of your getting separated?
People don’t "get" separated, and it's not a matter of "chance" either.

They either choose to separate or they choose to stay together. My wife and I have already discussed worst-case-scenarios, and unless one of us is in jail, we have agreed that no matter how bad it gets, we will not separate nor divorce until our youngest child is 18 and out of high school.

Would it increase the changes of your getting divorced?
Again, divorce is not a matter of chance, but choice.

My wife and I would not look at the further legitimizing of the tradition from which our marriage comes and choose to divorce. That would be illogical beyond compare.

 

[aps]

Sorry, but when it comes to marriage, it is imposable to exclude religion from a conversation, as one's commitment to a spouse has everything to do with personal value systems.

It's like trying to discuss investments while excluding the American economy. Try as you mite, it will come up.

Huh? Are you serious? I don't need any sort of religion (as I am an atheist) to be completely committed to my husband. My father is an atheist and my mother is a passionate Catholic, and they have been married for 45 years. Maybe you need religion to have a personal value system, but I sure don't.

I didn't even read your answers. I asked people to not comment if they were going to bring religion into it. So I am not interested in your answers. Sorry.

 

[Ivan The Terrible]

aps,

didn't even read your answers. I asked people to not comment if they were going to bring religion into it. So I am not interested in your answers. Sorry.

Thay's just plain narrow-minded. Sorry...

 

[aps]

aps,



Thay's just plain narrow-minded. Sorry...

I think it's narrow-minded to think that a discussion of marriage must involve religion.

I certainly don't mind your calling me narrow-minded--no need to apologize.

 

[Ivan The Terrible]

aPs,

think it's narrow-minded to think that a discussion of marriage must involve religion.

It may not have to require religious involvement but to simply pertend that it has nothing to do with marriage is absurd.

 

[Jerry]

Huh? Are you serious? I don't need any sort of religion (as I am an atheist) to be completely committed to my husband. My father is an atheist and my mother is a passionate Catholic, and they have been married for 45 years. Maybe you need religion to have a personal value system, but I sure don't.

I'm not quite sure where you read me saying that people need religion in order to have a personal value system....oh, that's because I didn't say that.
Way to straw-man my words.

In-fact, scripture specifically points out that people need not follow a religion at all in order to have a valid personal value system.

,
I didn't even read your answers. I asked people to not comment if they were going to bring religion into it. So I am not interested in your answers. Sorry.

Thay's just plain narrow-minded. Sorry...

Indeed.
How many scarlet letters are ascribed to "believers" who won't listen to atheists?

Aps, if our founding fathers had your attitude we wouldn't even have our constitution.

 

[americanwoman]

well I'm not married so currently allowing gay marriage would not affect my marriage . would it affect my life? nope. The only thing that would affect me if they let gays get married would be that many more stupid a$s wedding to go to.... :mrgreen:


and futhermore I hardly see any truly happy heterosexual marriages. I think thats pretty frickin sad in itself.

 

[Stace]

Some things I would like you to consider:
Would it affect your commitment?

No, and why should it? Our commitment is to each other and our children, not to anyone else.

Would it affect your sex life?

Don't see how.

Would it affect how you feel about your spouse?

Not unless he left me to marry another man!

Would you fight more?

Nope...we certainly don't fight or even disagree about the issue now, so why would we if it were legalized?

Would you communicate less?

Nope.

Would it affect your relationship with other people?

I doubt it, though that's a hard one to call. It might affect my relationship with folks that are against it, but then again, it might not.

Would you look the other person differently?

Again, not unless he left me for another man!

Would it increase the chances of your getting separted?

Nope. If this were an issue we disagreed on, it might, but we agree so there's nothing to worry about on this front.

Would it increase the changes of your getting divorced?

See above response....and again, maybe if he was a closet homosexual, but I highly doubt he is!

 

[Jerry]

PLEASE KEEP THIS ON TOPIC.

I just want those posting in this thread to tell me how their own heterosexual marriage would be impacted by allowing gay people to marry.

This is really for those who oppose [/Baton gay marriage. I don't want to hear about religion at all. So if it's because of religion that you oppose gay marriage, ignore this thread please.

I promise I won't criticize your NON-RELIGIOUS reasons. I just need to understand where you're coming from.

Here aps, in the sporting nature of debate I'll sterilize my responses and give it another go.

*I reject the idea that my marriage must be effected in order for me to care about this issue. That is a moral-relativism reasoning, which I do can not shear since I do not subscribe to moral-relativism.

*I do not oppose same-sex 'marriage on the basis that my marriage is in danger, but on my experiences as to what constitutes "a compelling state interest" in the metal health of it's citizens.

"Would it affect your commitment?"

The acceptance of same-sex 'marriage is society trying to tell me that mothers are irrelevant to the family. My family experiences have taught me that 1. a mother is a critical element to the family, and 2. no man can be a mother; so I can not agree with that claim.

The issue of same-sex 'marriage has helped place gender roles more clearly in my mind, and this has helped me understand where my wife is coming from and how women interact more clearly.

"Would it affect your sex life?"

Society trying to tell me that my wife is irrelevant to our children reinforces my position that she is a sacred piece of our family, and that mothers are irreplaceable, unduplicateable benefit to mankind. This attitude has inspired me to be more thoughtful and considerate toward her, which she reciprocates

"Would it affect how you feel about your spouse?"

As above.

"Would you fight more?"

As my mother in-law disagrees with me, my wife and I may experience tensions as a result of her various attitudes in this regard. That could lead to more fighting. Should the state require some kind of underlying theme in the curriculum which devalues the unique qualities of the differences in gender, Kristin and I would fight allot more. She and I would be fighting the state, that is.

"Would you communicate less?"

Perhaps.
With my working a fulltime job and attending full-time school, and with her home schooling our boys, as the challenges of countering communist/socialist propaganda increase there would likely be a greater demand for sleep from each of us. However, we are determined to make time just for each other each day.

"Would it affect your relationship with other people?"

As it does with people I meet here, yes. Some people hear that I oppose same-sex 'marriage and automatically assume that I'm some sort of holier-than-thou evangelical radical fundi who believes "god hates gays" (which is totally false, BTW).

Some people stop, listen, and are open to an exchange of ideas, even if in the end we still do not agree. Some people jump to stereo-types.

In this regard, my opinion on same-sex 'marriage is no different than my opinion on tax policy, war, abortion, education, etc. People will react how they will react. All sides of every issue have their fair share of jimmyjacks. In balance, all sides of every issue have their fair share of galenroxs too. (hay, it never hurts to kiss up to a Mod :mrgreen: )

"Would you look the other person differently?"

Oh yes, very much so. In high school I looked at my (now) wife as little more than a sex object. As I learn more about the world, of the powers and principalities at play, and watch as predictable events come to pass, I continually grow more and more respect and admiration for her every day.

"Would it increase the chances of your getting separated?"

Separation is not a matter of chance, but of choice. If anything same-sex 'marriage would be a force further bonding us together, not one that would encourage us to separate.

"Would it increase the changes of your getting divorced?"

Divorce is not a matter of chance, but of choice. The traditions of the personal value system that Kristin and I follow dissuade divorce. Divorce would only be an option of one of us became a danger to the family, and I do not see how the uniting force of "a common enemy" (ideologically, not literally) would influence either of us to become a danger.

***
I hope that run better met your guidelines, aps.
If you think of more questions please ask them. This thread is quite enjoyable.

 

[RightinNYC]

The acceptance of same-sex 'marriage is society trying to tell me that mothers are irrelevant to the family. My family experiences have taught me that 1. a mother is a critical element to the family, and 2. no man can be a mother; so I can not agree with that claim.

The issue of same-sex 'marriage has helped place gender roles more clearly in my mind, and this has helped me understand where my wife is coming from and how women interact more clearly.

Here's a question I have. (First off, youre neglecting to consider lesbian couples, although they would fail to have a father either, so there's a similar argument to be made.)

While I think it's pretty clear that the most ideal situation for children to be raised is in a father/mother household, its a fact that a stable, two-parent household is infinitely better than a one-parent. While I can understand your opposition to anything that could be construed as government endorsement of a sub-optimal family situation, the reality is that a huge portion of children are born today into single parent or divorced families. I am of the opinion that anything that reduces that number is beneficial to the child.

 

[Jerry]

Here's a question I have. (First off, youre neglecting to consider lesbian couples, although they would fail to have a father either, so there's a similar argument to be made.)

Yeah, I left out lesbian couples because I thought my post was long enough as it was.

While I think it's pretty clear that the most ideal situation for children to be raised is in a father/mother household, its a fact that a stable, two-parent household is infinitely better than a one-parent. While I can understand your opposition to anything that could be construed as government endorsement of a sub-optimal family situation, the reality is that a huge portion of children are born today into single parent or divorced families. I am of the opinion that anything that reduces that number is beneficial to the child.

What is your question?