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OH MY GOD! (AKA The quarter life crisis)

SmokeAndMirrors

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I have a kitty sitting beside me.

Not too long after the loss of my elder kitty, I stumbled upon a beautiful moggie cat people were spreading the word about. She had been up for adoption for months, being kept in foster. The reason she sat so long? Well, first of all, she's an adult -- about 1 1/2. And second of all, she's a bit of a trauma cat, and she was terrified in the shelter environment when people came to see her.

Her face grabbed me by the neck and I just had to go see her. So I did. Her signs were small, as she huddled, shaking, in the back of her carrier. But she was totally non-aggressive -- just scared. And when I sent her eye kisses, she returned them. When I pet her face, she turned it into my palm, as if to block out the sad yowls of the shelter.

And home with me she went.

I just realized something.

She's still got her whole life ahead of her. If we're converting cat to human, she's maybe slightly younger than the age I am now. I'm 24.

Assuming she doesn't have any kind of catastrophic disorder (which would be unusual, now that she's safely and healthfully in adulthood), I can expect her to live possibly as long as...

Until I am in my 40's.

My 40's. My 40's. My 40's. My 40's.

My 40's? I'm theoretically going to have 40's? What the hell happened to my teens!? Where did they go!? Wait, I'm halfway through my 20's? WHAT!?

When the hell did this happen? Why did no one wake me?

Oh my god, I have a skilled job, and an apartment, and a cat who will likely live until I'm middle aged, and I have to have my gin and tonic JUST SO, and no one makes it right.

:scared:

I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something about this.

Going out and madly playing beer pong, because I went to bed 18 and woke up 24. So next time I go to bed I could wake up 35, and this spry little kitty will be another granny cat.

Only problem with that is that I don't enjoy beer pong. Or really, getting wasted and partying in general. Because I'm 24, not 18, and I got bored with that quite a while ago.

I don't know when "quite a while ago" was, seeing as how I was just 18, like, YESTERDAY, but I know it was quite a while ago in the scheme of this weird wormhole that is getting older from a personal perspective.

What am I gonna be like at 40?

When I was 19, I had probably the lowest period of my life. My whole world just sort collapsed around me.

A good friend of mine -- then 30 -- didn't believe in my general ennui about my life at that point. One of those people who thinks I'll do something awesome someday. He asked me something I always remembered, because it was one of those things where the words the person said are just a simplistic outfit for the million other things they actually mean to say.

"What will you be like in 5 years?"

I know the answer to that now: completely unrecognizable from what I was at 19.

But at the time, I couldn't imagine myself any older than 22.

So much for that. 40 seems almost beyond comprehension.

I know I will probably be a curmudgeonly bar patron when it comes to my gin and tonics. I know my kitty will be very, very old. And possibly (but hopefully not) departed.

Beyond that, I haven't the faintest idea.

I just hope I don't sleep through it.
 

Josie

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I love reading your posts like this, Smoke. You're very talented. :)
 

rocket88

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Meh, I'll be 40 this time next year. Now I just see it as part of life. I don't have to feel old, I don't have to feel like I wasted my life...those are choices. My whole world collapsed when I was 19, I started another one. It collapsed again this year...I'll find another one. It seems the end of the world as we know it comes about every 20 years. To quote Michael Stipe, "I feel fine."
 

SmokeAndMirrors

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I love reading your posts like this, Smoke. You're very talented. :)

Why, thank you. I sort of thought to myself, "Why the hell am I writing this on DP? This should go in the blog I don't even have." But I'm glad someone enjoyed it.
 

SmokeAndMirrors

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Meh, I'll be 40 this time next year. Now I just see it as part of life. I don't have to feel old, I don't have to feel like I wasted my life...those are choices. My whole world collapsed when I was 19, I started another one. It collapsed again this year...I'll find another one. It seems the end of the world as we know it comes about every 20 years. To quote Michael Stipe, "I feel fine."

I know that realistically. But right now it seems insane to think about.

I don't worry about being able to find another life. I've already had half a dozen. And for the same reason, despite my metaphor, I don't worry about sleeping through it. I didn't sleep through the past 6 years.

But the fact that I didn't sleep through it -- that in actuality, I burned the candle at both ends and saw either side of several oceans and had half a dozen different lives -- made it pass even faster.
 

douglas

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Getting older is better than getting dead.
Silver lining.
 

ttwtt78640

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At 59 I see every new day as being good simply because I am still above ground. ;)

Enjoy your pets, but value your friends more. The only thing that you must be, in order to have one, is a friend.
 

SmokeAndMirrors

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At 59 I see every new day as being good simply because I am still above ground. ;)

Enjoy your pets, but value your friends more. The only thing that you must be, in order to have one, is a friend.

She IS one of my friends. :) So what if she's fluffy?

I try my best. I do better than I used to, but there's room for improvement.
 

What if...?

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I have a kitty sitting beside me.

Not too long after the loss of my elder kitty, I stumbled upon a beautiful moggie cat people were spreading the word about. She had been up for adoption for months, being kept in foster. The reason she sat so long? Well, first of all, she's an adult -- about 1 1/2. And second of all, she's a bit of a trauma cat, and she was terrified in the shelter environment when people came to see her.

Her face grabbed me by the neck and I just had to go see her. So I did. Her signs were small, as she huddled, shaking, in the back of her carrier. But she was totally non-aggressive -- just scared. And when I sent her eye kisses, she returned them. When I pet her face, she turned it into my palm, as if to block out the sad yowls of the shelter.

And home with me she went.

I just realized something.

She's still got her whole life ahead of her. If we're converting cat to human, she's maybe slightly younger than the age I am now. I'm 24.

Assuming she doesn't have any kind of catastrophic disorder (which would be unusual, now that she's safely and healthfully in adulthood), I can expect her to live possibly as long as...

Until I am in my 40's.

My 40's. My 40's. My 40's. My 40's.

My 40's? I'm theoretically going to have 40's? What the hell happened to my teens!? Where did they go!? Wait, I'm halfway through my 20's? WHAT!?

When the hell did this happen? Why did no one wake me?

Oh my god, I have a skilled job, and an apartment, and a cat who will likely live until I'm middle aged, and I have to have my gin and tonic JUST SO, and no one makes it right.

:scared:

I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something about this.

Going out and madly playing beer pong, because I went to bed 18 and woke up 24. So next time I go to bed I could wake up 35, and this spry little kitty will be another granny cat.

Only problem with that is that I don't enjoy beer pong. Or really, getting wasted and partying in general. Because I'm 24, not 18, and I got bored with that quite a while ago.

I don't know when "quite a while ago" was, seeing as how I was just 18, like, YESTERDAY, but I know it was quite a while ago in the scheme of this weird wormhole that is getting older from a personal perspective.

What am I gonna be like at 40?

When I was 19, I had probably the lowest period of my life. My whole world just sort collapsed around me.

A good friend of mine -- then 30 -- didn't believe in my general ennui about my life at that point. One of those people who thinks I'll do something awesome someday. He asked me something I always remembered, because it was one of those things where the words the person said are just a simplistic outfit for the million other things they actually mean to say.

"What will you be like in 5 years?"

I know the answer to that now: completely unrecognizable from what I was at 19.

But at the time, I couldn't imagine myself any older than 22.

So much for that. 40 seems almost beyond comprehension.

I know I will probably be a curmudgeonly bar patron when it comes to my gin and tonics. I know my kitty will be very, very old. And possibly (but hopefully not) departed.

Beyond that, I haven't the faintest idea.

I just hope I don't sleep through it.

You obviously picked the right career.

Good luck on the new kitty and the years ahead together.
 

rocket88

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She IS one of my friends. :) So what if she's fluffy?

I try my best. I do better than I used to, but there's room for improvement.

My cat is my best friend. He's the only one that thinks I'm awesome no matter what.
 

sawyerloggingon

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I know that realistically. But right now it seems insane to think about.

I don't worry about being able to find another life. I've already had half a dozen. And for the same reason, despite my metaphor, I don't worry about sleeping through it. I didn't sleep through the past 6 years.

But the fact that I didn't sleep through it -- that in actuality, I burned the candle at both ends and saw either side of several oceans and had half a dozen different lives -- made it pass even faster.

You are at the age where you look forward a lot and wonder, I am at the age where I look back a lot and wonder, life is funny like that.
 

SmokeAndMirrors

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My cat is my best friend. He's the only one that thinks I'm awesome no matter what.

Right? Here I am in all my wild-haired, pre-coffee glory (I work evenings), banging away on DP, and she still thinks I'm the best thing ever.

She's so lovely. And crazy. Crazy teenager kitty. It's not a home without a cat. :)
 

DiAnna

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I have a kitty sitting beside me.

Not too long after the loss of my elder kitty, I stumbled upon a beautiful moggie cat people were spreading the word about. She had been up for adoption for months, being kept in foster. The reason she sat so long? Well, first of all, she's an adult -- about 1 1/2. And second of all, she's a bit of a trauma cat, and she was terrified in the shelter environment when people came to see her.

Her face grabbed me by the neck and I just had to go see her. So I did. Her signs were small, as she huddled, shaking, in the back of her carrier. But she was totally non-aggressive -- just scared. And when I sent her eye kisses, she returned them. When I pet her face, she turned it into my palm, as if to block out the sad yowls of the shelter.

And home with me she went.

I just realized something.

She's still got her whole life ahead of her. If we're converting cat to human, she's maybe slightly younger than the age I am now. I'm 24.

Assuming she doesn't have any kind of catastrophic disorder (which would be unusual, now that she's safely and healthfully in adulthood), I can expect her to live possibly as long as...

Until I am in my 40's.

My 40's. My 40's. My 40's. My 40's.

My 40's? I'm theoretically going to have 40's? What the hell happened to my teens!? Where did they go!? Wait, I'm halfway through my 20's? WHAT!?

When the hell did this happen? Why did no one wake me?

Oh my god, I have a skilled job, and an apartment, and a cat who will likely live until I'm middle aged, and I have to have my gin and tonic JUST SO, and no one makes it right.

:scared:

I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something about this.

Going out and madly playing beer pong, because I went to bed 18 and woke up 24. So next time I go to bed I could wake up 35, and this spry little kitty will be another granny cat.

Only problem with that is that I don't enjoy beer pong. Or really, getting wasted and partying in general. Because I'm 24, not 18, and I got bored with that quite a while ago.

I don't know when "quite a while ago" was, seeing as how I was just 18, like, YESTERDAY, but I know it was quite a while ago in the scheme of this weird wormhole that is getting older from a personal perspective.

What am I gonna be like at 40?

When I was 19, I had probably the lowest period of my life. My whole world just sort collapsed around me.

A good friend of mine -- then 30 -- didn't believe in my general ennui about my life at that point. One of those people who thinks I'll do something awesome someday. He asked me something I always remembered, because it was one of those things where the words the person said are just a simplistic outfit for the million other things they actually mean to say.

"What will you be like in 5 years?"

I know the answer to that now: completely unrecognizable from what I was at 19.

But at the time, I couldn't imagine myself any older than 22.

So much for that. 40 seems almost beyond comprehension.

I know I will probably be a curmudgeonly bar patron when it comes to my gin and tonics. I know my kitty will be very, very old. And possibly (but hopefully not) departed.

Beyond that, I haven't the faintest idea.

I just hope I don't sleep through it.


Welcome to my world. Life just creeps up on you. I still look in the mirror and wonder when in the hell that happened.

I guess the alternative is worse....

...I guess.
 

Goshin

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I have a kitty sitting beside me.

Not too long after the loss of my elder kitty, I stumbled upon a beautiful moggie cat people were spreading the word about. She had been up for adoption for months, being kept in foster. The reason she sat so long? Well, first of all, she's an adult -- about 1 1/2. And second of all, she's a bit of a trauma cat, and she was terrified in the shelter environment when people came to see her.

Her face grabbed me by the neck and I just had to go see her. So I did. Her signs were small, as she huddled, shaking, in the back of her carrier. But she was totally non-aggressive -- just scared. And when I sent her eye kisses, she returned them. When I pet her face, she turned it into my palm, as if to block out the sad yowls of the shelter.

And home with me she went.

I just realized something.

She's still got her whole life ahead of her. If we're converting cat to human, she's maybe slightly younger than the age I am now. I'm 24.

Assuming she doesn't have any kind of catastrophic disorder (which would be unusual, now that she's safely and healthfully in adulthood), I can expect her to live possibly as long as...

Until I am in my 40's.

My 40's. My 40's. My 40's. My 40's.

My 40's? I'm theoretically going to have 40's? What the hell happened to my teens!? Where did they go!? Wait, I'm halfway through my 20's? WHAT!?

When the hell did this happen? Why did no one wake me?

Oh my god, I have a skilled job, and an apartment, and a cat who will likely live until I'm middle aged, and I have to have my gin and tonic JUST SO, and no one makes it right.

:scared:

I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something about this.

Going out and madly playing beer pong, because I went to bed 18 and woke up 24. So next time I go to bed I could wake up 35, and this spry little kitty will be another granny cat.

Only problem with that is that I don't enjoy beer pong. Or really, getting wasted and partying in general. Because I'm 24, not 18, and I got bored with that quite a while ago.

I don't know when "quite a while ago" was, seeing as how I was just 18, like, YESTERDAY, but I know it was quite a while ago in the scheme of this weird wormhole that is getting older from a personal perspective.

What am I gonna be like at 40?

When I was 19, I had probably the lowest period of my life. My whole world just sort collapsed around me.

A good friend of mine -- then 30 -- didn't believe in my general ennui about my life at that point. One of those people who thinks I'll do something awesome someday. He asked me something I always remembered, because it was one of those things where the words the person said are just a simplistic outfit for the million other things they actually mean to say.

"What will you be like in 5 years?"

I know the answer to that now: completely unrecognizable from what I was at 19.

But at the time, I couldn't imagine myself any older than 22.

So much for that. 40 seems almost beyond comprehension.

I know I will probably be a curmudgeonly bar patron when it comes to my gin and tonics. I know my kitty will be very, very old. And possibly (but hopefully not) departed.

Beyond that, I haven't the faintest idea.

I just hope I don't sleep through it.



See this is why I like you. You say interesting things. :)



I'm 47. Last I remember I was 35. WTF? :)


But anyway, let me put it this way.... if you do it RIGHT, when you're in your 40s... you'll just be "even more YOU" than you are now, and "the better YOU" if you're lucky.


So keep smiling. :)
 

Thrilla

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I can barely remember what it was like when I was 24 and having the rest of my life in front of me... that was 36 years ago... a lifetime ago.... and yet, it seems like it was yesterday.

cats are cool, I love 'em... but dogs are better for the soul.
 

SmokeAndMirrors

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I can barely remember what it was like when I was 24 and having the rest of my life in front of me... that was 36 years ago... a lifetime ago.... and yet, it seems like it was yesterday.

cats are cool, I love 'em... but dogs are better for the soul.

Nah, I gotta disagree. :)

Cats have every bit of the love and loyalty and desire to be loved that dogs do. They're just more timid about it. Unlike dogs, cats are both predators and prey, so they're more wary than dogs are. People write this off as "aloof." but in reality, a lot of people just don't realize that they are that way because the human probably hasn't spent as much time trying to connect to them as they ought to.

Conversely to what a lot of people think, cats are actually more work than dogs in some ways. Primarily, they're more work emotionally. Especially when you've got a cat with a trauma history, like mine. They need lots and lots and lots of love and understanding.

There is no better feeling than getting a cat to trust you completely. And I'd say they challenge you to be a better person more than dogs do, because you have to be, whereas with dogs you have a lot more room to slide.
 
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SmokeAndMirrors

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See this is why I like you. You say interesting things. :)

I'm 47. Last I remember I was 35. WTF? :)

But anyway, let me put it this way.... if you do it RIGHT, when you're in your 40s... you'll just be "even more YOU" than you are now, and "the better YOU" if you're lucky.

So keep smiling. :)

That's the hope. I think on the whole, I'm a lot better than I was at 18, but it's been a mixed bag. I have new flaws now. Maybe not as extreme, but definitely new. I suppose that's inevitable as you live and acquire baggage, or simply get set in your ways. I'm hoping for more "better" at 40.
 

lizzie

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What am I gonna be like at 40?



"What will you be like in 5 years?"

I know the answer to that now: completely unrecognizable from what I was at 19.

But at the time, I couldn't imagine myself any older than 22.

So much for that. 40 seems almost beyond comprehension.

I know I will probably be a curmudgeonly bar patron when it comes to my gin and tonics. I know my kitty will be very, very old. And possibly (but hopefully not) departed.

Beyond that, I haven't the faintest idea.

I just hope I don't sleep through it.

I don't really think it's that we sleep through it, it's just that memories fade and become fuzzy around the edges as time goes on. It's one of the ways that we have for coping with painful events in our lives. If everything were subject to realistic instant recall from our entire lives, it would be too much sensory input and I believe it would have a detrimental effect on our well-being. Now, at 55, I can remember my life at 18 and 24, but the memories are through a lens of softness and muted light.
 

Lutherf

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I don't really think it's that we sleep through it, it's just that memories fade and become fuzzy around the edges as time goes on. It's one of the ways that we have for coping with painful events in our lives. If everything were subject to realistic instant recall from our entire lives, it would be too much sensory input and I believe it would have a detrimental effect on our well-being. Now, at 55, I can remember my life at 18 and 24, but the memories are through a lens of softness and muted light.

It's really kind of weird the way that works. A couple of years back I got reacquainted with my fathers side of the family after 30 years or so of no contact and some of my most vivid memories of childhood (which I took as fact) weren't 100%. They were close but some times I'd talk to my cousin and the specifics just weren't the same or the sequence of events was a little jumbled.
 

SmokeAndMirrors

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I don't really think it's that we sleep through it, it's just that memories fade and become fuzzy around the edges as time goes on. It's one of the ways that we have for coping with painful events in our lives. If everything were subject to realistic instant recall from our entire lives, it would be too much sensory input and I believe it would have a detrimental effect on our well-being. Now, at 55, I can remember my life at 18 and 24, but the memories are through a lens of softness and muted light.

I'm noticing a wee bit of that. Just enough to make stuff that wasn't that great look a whole lot better.

I still have no love for my high school years. There was really nothing redeeming about them for me. I just felt trapped in this sort of cattle call for minors, out in the boondocky-est suburb you've ever seen.

But man, my travel years look better in several years retrospect than they ever were in reality. In reality, they were rough, and I was insane practically the entire time. I know that intellectually, but it doesn't stop me from missing them emotionally. Nostalgia turns everything a slight shade of pink. When I'm having a real bad day, I still get the urge to pack my trusty little suitcase, leave my keys on my landlord's step, and just go to Morocco. Thank goodness that most of my days I know how much that would really suck.

I went out to the art fair the other day looking for something nice for my apartment. I landed on a photography piece of street performers in Ireland.

On one hand, it was another "Holy crap, when did I turn into a grown-up?" moment. Here I was, out getting actual art for my home. That seems absurd. When did I stop just plastering stupid posters and cork boards everywhere?

But on the other hand, it's still through the lens of my nostalgic memories of travel. That's why I liked it so much, after all. It reminds me of my friends from another lifetime.
 
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MaggieD

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I have a kitty sitting beside me.

Not too long after the loss of my elder kitty, I stumbled upon a beautiful moggie cat people were spreading the word about. She had been up for adoption for months, being kept in foster. The reason she sat so long? Well, first of all, she's an adult -- about 1 1/2. And second of all, she's a bit of a trauma cat, and she was terrified in the shelter environment when people came to see her.

Her face grabbed me by the neck and I just had to go see her. So I did. Her signs were small, as she huddled, shaking, in the back of her carrier. But she was totally non-aggressive -- just scared. And when I sent her eye kisses, she returned them. When I pet her face, she turned it into my palm, as if to block out the sad yowls of the shelter.

And home with me she went.

I just realized something.

She's still got her whole life ahead of her. If we're converting cat to human, she's maybe slightly younger than the age I am now. I'm 24.

Assuming she doesn't have any kind of catastrophic disorder (which would be unusual, now that she's safely and healthfully in adulthood), I can expect her to live possibly as long as...

Until I am in my 40's.

My 40's. My 40's. My 40's. My 40's.

My 40's? I'm theoretically going to have 40's? What the hell happened to my teens!? Where did they go!? Wait, I'm halfway through my 20's? WHAT!?

When the hell did this happen? Why did no one wake me?

Oh my god, I have a skilled job, and an apartment, and a cat who will likely live until I'm middle aged, and I have to have my gin and tonic JUST SO, and no one makes it right.

:scared:

I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something about this.

Going out and madly playing beer pong, because I went to bed 18 and woke up 24. So next time I go to bed I could wake up 35, and this spry little kitty will be another granny cat.

Only problem with that is that I don't enjoy beer pong. Or really, getting wasted and partying in general. Because I'm 24, not 18, and I got bored with that quite a while ago.

I don't know when "quite a while ago" was, seeing as how I was just 18, like, YESTERDAY, but I know it was quite a while ago in the scheme of this weird wormhole that is getting older from a personal perspective.

What am I gonna be like at 40?

When I was 19, I had probably the lowest period of my life. My whole world just sort collapsed around me.

A good friend of mine -- then 30 -- didn't believe in my general ennui about my life at that point. One of those people who thinks I'll do something awesome someday. He asked me something I always remembered, because it was one of those things where the words the person said are just a simplistic outfit for the million other things they actually mean to say.

"What will you be like in 5 years?"

I know the answer to that now: completely unrecognizable from what I was at 19.

But at the time, I couldn't imagine myself any older than 22.

So much for that. 40 seems almost beyond comprehension.

I know I will probably be a curmudgeonly bar patron when it comes to my gin and tonics. I know my kitty will be very, very old. And possibly (but hopefully not) departed.

Beyond that, I haven't the faintest idea.

I just hope I don't sleep through it.

What a cool post!!!! And good on you for recognizing kitty and giving it a good home. !!!!!!!!

Your friend's comment reminds me of two things said to me that I'll always remember:

Tommy Boy (when I was discussing whether or not to get a little red convertible): "If not now? When??" (I bought it, by the way. Ha!)

My dad (when I told him I was too old to realize my dream of being an attorney): "Well, how old will you be when you get out of school and start to practice law?" "OMG, Dad, that'd take 8 years! I'd be forty-five!"

"Well," he said, how old will you be in eight years anyway?"

Re your kitty. That's something I've always worried about with my half-feral Shorty Pants. He has a clipped ear -- done when we neutered and released him as a kitty. Now he's our boy -- never allowed outside. He lived a wild life and was never socialized as a kitten; so he's mostly feral. But has never stuck a claw into me. When I've forced the issue and picked him up (seldom), he stiffens his body into a board and looks for an escape. But never a claw. It's just his instinct, as he really does know I'd never hurt him. He gets his pets and lovin' by sitting on the floor by my feet and waiting for me to reach down and pet him. Or comes up on the bed after I've laid down and lays next to me for a good old back scratch. I worry he'll get loose some day. With his ticked ear, they'd euthanize him same day. *Sad Face*

You go, girl!!!
 

SmokeAndMirrors

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I am resurrecting this thread because now I'm going mental again.

I just found a gray hair. Actually, it's not gray. It's sun-glintingly white.

And I think a few people owe me some money.

I had some running bets that I'd start going gray right in the front, like Cruella de Vil. That hair right in front always turned blonde in summer, so I figure it'd be the first to lose its color.

Well, there it is. Bright white. Right up front. I win.

It's actually kinda pretty.
 

Harshaw

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I have a kitty sitting beside me.

Not too long after the loss of my elder kitty, I stumbled upon a beautiful moggie cat people were spreading the word about. She had been up for adoption for months, being kept in foster. The reason she sat so long? Well, first of all, she's an adult -- about 1 1/2. And second of all, she's a bit of a trauma cat, and she was terrified in the shelter environment when people came to see her.

Her face grabbed me by the neck and I just had to go see her. So I did. Her signs were small, as she huddled, shaking, in the back of her carrier. But she was totally non-aggressive -- just scared. And when I sent her eye kisses, she returned them. When I pet her face, she turned it into my palm, as if to block out the sad yowls of the shelter.

And home with me she went.

I just realized something.

She's still got her whole life ahead of her. If we're converting cat to human, she's maybe slightly younger than the age I am now. I'm 24.

Assuming she doesn't have any kind of catastrophic disorder (which would be unusual, now that she's safely and healthfully in adulthood), I can expect her to live possibly as long as...

Until I am in my 40's.

My 40's. My 40's. My 40's. My 40's.

My 40's? I'm theoretically going to have 40's? What the hell happened to my teens!? Where did they go!? Wait, I'm halfway through my 20's? WHAT!?

When the hell did this happen? Why did no one wake me?

Oh my god, I have a skilled job, and an apartment, and a cat who will likely live until I'm middle aged, and I have to have my gin and tonic JUST SO, and no one makes it right.

:scared:

I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something about this.

Going out and madly playing beer pong, because I went to bed 18 and woke up 24. So next time I go to bed I could wake up 35, and this spry little kitty will be another granny cat.

Only problem with that is that I don't enjoy beer pong. Or really, getting wasted and partying in general. Because I'm 24, not 18, and I got bored with that quite a while ago.

I don't know when "quite a while ago" was, seeing as how I was just 18, like, YESTERDAY, but I know it was quite a while ago in the scheme of this weird wormhole that is getting older from a personal perspective.

What am I gonna be like at 40?

When I was 19, I had probably the lowest period of my life. My whole world just sort collapsed around me.

A good friend of mine -- then 30 -- didn't believe in my general ennui about my life at that point. One of those people who thinks I'll do something awesome someday. He asked me something I always remembered, because it was one of those things where the words the person said are just a simplistic outfit for the million other things they actually mean to say.

"What will you be like in 5 years?"

I know the answer to that now: completely unrecognizable from what I was at 19.

But at the time, I couldn't imagine myself any older than 22.

So much for that. 40 seems almost beyond comprehension.

I know I will probably be a curmudgeonly bar patron when it comes to my gin and tonics. I know my kitty will be very, very old. And possibly (but hopefully not) departed.

Beyond that, I haven't the faintest idea.

I just hope I don't sleep through it.

If you do it right, you will never, ever wish you were younger than you are.

I look back and my 20s and say "screw that." Too much of my life that I treasure dearly has happened since then, and every decade has been better than the last.
 

nota bene

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If you do it right, you will never, ever wish you were younger than you are.

I look back and my 20s and say "screw that." Too much of my life that I treasure dearly has happened since then, and every decade has been better than the last.

Absolutely. I would never go back. The cliches, as it turns out, are all true. Guess that's why they became cliches.
 

Harshaw

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Absolutely. I would never go back. The cliches, as it turns out, are all true. Guess that's why they became cliches.

Wanting to stay young just to be young is like not drinking a beer because you don't want it to be gone.
 
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