You will continue to miss the point. Gotti and BTK were not devoted family men, they brought only shame to their families. Gotti and BTK shared one thing in common, they di what THEY wanted to do for their EGOS and/or pleasure.
I like that scene in a Bronx take where the father, a bus driver, after his son called him a sucker (played De Nero), is telling his son who the real heroes are, and it isn't the gangsters. The real heroes are the guys who go to work everyday and earn a hard living and don't complain. That the gangster boss isn't loved by anyone, he is only feared.
I brought him up because I think he is a lousy family man, despite what anyone would claim. I think anyone who cycles through woman and marriages is not a person of virtue, no matter what people think they do for their families. I see people like that as shallow and narcissistoc, it is about them, and their needs, and their egos, never their families or loved ones.
People like Gotti are masters of deceit. He BOUGHT off his family with money. He would have been better to work at a used car lot, and been an honest man, not a murderer and drug dealer. Where is their virtue in that? If his family loved him, they were as bad as him if they knew what he did.