Session One
Q: Are you all knowing, all seeing, all powerful?
A: Yes.
Q: Then how is it you were not able to prevent Adam and Eve from eating the apple from the Tree of Knowledge?
A: No comment.
Session Two
Q: What did you have in mind when you created human beings?
A: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you're asking.
Q: What was the purpose of creating a man and a woman?
A: That's rather personal.
Q: OK. And the fact that they were nude and-
A: THAT'S RATHER PERSONAL!!!
Q: OK. Well we noticed that you seemed rather unhappy when they put clothes on, and-"
A: YOUR HONOR!!!
Judge: Sir, do not provoke God.
Q: OK. What we meant to say is we noticed that you seemed particularly unhappy with your creation? Being God, I can't imagine ou would have been infallible enough to have made a mistake so...what happened?
A: What do you mean?
Q: Well take the Ten Commandments. You epitomize the perfect person in our eyes don't you?
A: Yes.
Q: Why did you make human beings capable of evil if you did not want them to do evil?
A: I gave them free will.
Q: Yes, but how can you give them free will and give them laws to live by? Is that not a contradiction?
A: What is a contradiction?
Session Three
Q: How many fingers am I holding up?
A: Four.
Q: Amazing.
A: Thank You.
Q: How many fingers am I going to hold up?
A: Seven.
Q: Astounding!
A: I'm the man.
Q: You are Man, aren't you? However, I was wondering...How far into the future can you see? In years?
A: Farther than you can count.
Q: I see. So you knew ahead of time all of the bad things that was going to happen to everyone? Not only that, you knew that by creating human beings you were going to do all the things that you did? You knew what they would do to your son and you sent him anyway? You knew what they would do to you and to each other? It's like a scientist who knows he's going to fail if he makes this model making it anyway and then cursing it. Why would you do that?
A: Have faith.
Q: Excuse me?
A: Have faith.
Q: What...how dos that answer the question?
A: Believe in me?
Q: Wha...wait a minute. H...hey. You're a man. How long have you been doing this?
A: About as long as I been doin' yo mom.
Q: What did you say?
A: You heard me chump. I broke her water like the Red- arggghhaaaaa!!!
Judge: ORDER! ORDER! Bailiff, get these men ut of my court, NOW.
Q: Are you all knowing, all seeing, all powerful?
A: Yes.
Q: Then how is it you were not able to prevent Adam and Eve from eating the apple from the Tree of Knowledge?
A: No comment.
Session Two
Q: What did you have in mind when you created human beings?
A: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you're asking.
Q: What was the purpose of creating a man and a woman?
A: That's rather personal.
Q: OK. And the fact that they were nude and-
A: THAT'S RATHER PERSONAL!!!
Q: OK. Well we noticed that you seemed rather unhappy when they put clothes on, and-"
A: YOUR HONOR!!!
Judge: Sir, do not provoke God.
Q: OK. What we meant to say is we noticed that you seemed particularly unhappy with your creation? Being God, I can't imagine ou would have been infallible enough to have made a mistake so...what happened?
A: What do you mean?
Q: Well take the Ten Commandments. You epitomize the perfect person in our eyes don't you?
A: Yes.
Q: Why did you make human beings capable of evil if you did not want them to do evil?
A: I gave them free will.
Q: Yes, but how can you give them free will and give them laws to live by? Is that not a contradiction?
A: What is a contradiction?
Session Three
Q: How many fingers am I holding up?
A: Four.
Q: Amazing.
A: Thank You.
Q: How many fingers am I going to hold up?
A: Seven.
Q: Astounding!
A: I'm the man.
Q: You are Man, aren't you? However, I was wondering...How far into the future can you see? In years?
A: Farther than you can count.
Q: I see. So you knew ahead of time all of the bad things that was going to happen to everyone? Not only that, you knew that by creating human beings you were going to do all the things that you did? You knew what they would do to your son and you sent him anyway? You knew what they would do to you and to each other? It's like a scientist who knows he's going to fail if he makes this model making it anyway and then cursing it. Why would you do that?
A: Have faith.
Q: Excuse me?
A: Have faith.
Q: What...how dos that answer the question?
A: Believe in me?
Q: Wha...wait a minute. H...hey. You're a man. How long have you been doing this?
A: About as long as I been doin' yo mom.
Q: What did you say?
A: You heard me chump. I broke her water like the Red- arggghhaaaaa!!!
Judge: ORDER! ORDER! Bailiff, get these men ut of my court, NOW.
