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Movies that made you Puke

alphamale

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George_Washington said:
What the heck was wrong with those films? They were all pretty good.

Where to start?

"Wall Street" was Oliver Stone's anti-capitalism defamation, by a person who probably couldn't get a "C" in an econ 101 exam. The thrust of the movie is that capitalists ultimately are criminals, and it's clear from the title that it isn't just a story about the characters, but a (false) indictment of capitalism itself.

"Platoon" portrayed vietnam soldiers as murderers and psychos - soldiers who had actually served in the war and saw the movie were appalled at the portrayal of themselves.

"Born on the Forth of July", a biography of Ron Kovic, is loaded with historical errors, and portrays the protagonist, symbolic of all such men who went to fight for their country, as naive, brainwashed, and stupid, and having to pay a heavy price for those qualities, before they became enlightened, wise, and hip individuals who see appeasement of enemies as the choice of a mature intellect.
 

nkgupta80

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nah, not really anti-capitalist. Its simply aobut greed vs. ethics. Gordon Gecko did whatever he could to win (legal or illegal). Bud has to decide between greed and excess or ethics and morals. Nothing about capitalism being bad.


Platoon had both good soldiers and bad soldiers in it. Its another simple theme about the craziness of war, and how some people can hold on to their ethics, and some people just can't. I don't think its trying to defame American troops or anything. this wasn't supposed to be a documentary anyways...so some parts would be exaggerated or twisted just to provide more dramatic effect in the story.
 

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Alright you guys, now we're going to talk about REAL movies that make you puke:

The Piano- I hated this film. Boring, boring, boring. It wouldn't have been so bad if you could have seen how the woman was built but she was constantly all covered up. This movie gets a half a star.

The English Patient- This is possibly the worst movie ever. Super extremely absolutely infinitely boring. I didn't understand a lick of it because I was too bored. This movie was so bad, it doesn't even get a star.

West Side Story- God, I can't STAND this movie. Has there ever been a movie with a gayer group of gangsters? Who ever heard of gangsters dancing and flaunting their arms like belle dancers? Talk about flaming gay. They must have been a gang from West Hollywood or something. Hated it. Plus, I thought the singing sucked, too. Half a star.

The Sum of All Fears- Tom Clancy really took a nose dive with this crappy story. I literally left before the movie was over. One star at the most.

The African Queen- I thought Humphrey Bogart was cool but I liked him better when he would play gangster roles. I thought this movie was well, pretty boring. For one thing, the scenes of Bogart and Catherine Hepburn sitting in that row boat or whatever the hell it was, were SO fake. I mean you could just tell there was a screen behind them. And Hepburn's accent was SO irritating. I mean, did she really have to talk like that? It was like someone scratching their nails on a chalk board for 2 hours or however long the movie lasted. This movie gets a half a star.

Casablanca- I realize some people are going to hate me for this. I didn't like this movie at all. I found it extremely low keyed and boring. The flashblack scenes with Bogart in Paris with that woman looked SO low budget. You can tell it was a screen behind them. The fight scenes in the bar with Bogart were so fake looking, it would be laughable to today's audiences if they put something like that in a movie. But I realize it did have some good dialogue, so I'll give this movie 2 stars to be fair to everyone. But I certainly have no desire to buy this movie on DVD.

I'm sure they're probably a lot more but these are the ones that came to mind right away.
 

alphamale

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The Piano- I hated this film. Boring, boring, boring. It wouldn't have been so bad if you could have seen how the woman was built but she was constantly all covered up. This movie gets a half a star.

A pukesome movie.

The English Patient- This is possibly the worst movie ever. Super extremely absolutely infinitely boring. I didn't understand a lick of it because I was too bored. This movie was so bad, it doesn't even get a star.

I liked it a lot. The pukesome part was when the nurse says goodbye to the indian she screwed saying she'll go back to the church in her mind or something, and then he says very dispassionately "yes, I will too" and just rides off.

West Side Story- God, I can't STAND this movie. Has there ever been a movie with a gayer group of gangsters? Who ever heard of gangsters dancing and flaunting their arms like belle dancers? Talk about flaming gay. They must have been a gang from West Hollywood or something. Hated it. Plus, I thought the singing sucked, too. Half a star.

You didn't get it - that was jazz dancing which is very cool, which you might not recognize or appreciate if you grew up watching MTV with dancing being a kind of hip rolling and thrusting - nothing more than simulated fuucking.

The Sum of All Fears- Tom Clancy really took a nose dive with this crappy story. I literally left before the movie was over. One star at the most.

Absolutely agree. And notice the PC? In this era of islamofascists blowing up people practically every day, who did they pick for the terrorists? Neo-nazis!

The African Queen- I thought Humphrey Bogart was cool but I liked him better when he would play gangster roles. I thought this movie was well, pretty boring. For one thing, the scenes of Bogart and Catherine Hepburn sitting in that row boat or whatever the hell it was, were SO fake. I mean you could just tell there was a screen behind them. And Hepburn's accent was SO irritating. I mean, did she really have to talk like that? It was like someone scratching their nails on a chalk board for 2 hours or however long the movie lasted. This movie gets a half a star.

You're wrong there. The movie was filmed on location.
 
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jallman

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The Passion of the Christ--tried so hard to maintain the appearance of spirituality that it undermined every mystery of faith it miserably attempted to relate. It has to be the only movie in the history of cinema that had no redeeming quality whatsoever.

Thirteen Ghosts--Every time I have tried to watch this movie, I have fallen asleep. Its gotten to the point that when I see it playing, I immediately yawn just out of conditioning. The characters were overly contrived, the dialogue was pathetically simplistic, and any semblance of depth was so transparent it made the endeavor seem shallow. I hate seeing a good plot idea tainted with bad screenwriting.

Arthur--Where the hell did they draw that legend from? Makes me almost rabid when I see our beautiful legends so watered down that they are hardly even recognizable. There wasnt even an archetypal theme present to pull that movie out of the realm of pathetic.
 

George_Washington

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jallman said:
Arthur--Where the hell did they draw that legend from? Makes me almost rabid when I see our beautiful legends so watered down that they are hardly even recognizable. There wasnt even an archetypal theme present to pull that movie out of the realm of pathetic.

I suppose you mean the new one with Keira Knightly? Yeah, it kind of sucked. Wasn't accurate at all. If you want to watch a better movie concerning the Arthurian Legend, watch, "First Knight" with Richard Gere. I thought that one was a lot better. You might want to also check out the TV movie, "Merlin." Neither one of these films were 100% accurate to any text concerning the Legend but they were a lot better than the new one.

Also, if you're into history movies around the time of King Arthur, check out the TV movie, "Attila the Hun". It came out about 4 years ago. It was REALLY good. It was excellent, actually. A lot better than the new King Arthur movie. I remember I was in England when that movie came out and one guy over there told me how much he thought it sucked, too. lol
 
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jallman

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George_Washington said:
I suppose you mean the new one with Keira Knightly? Yeah, it kind of sucked. Wasn't accurate at all. If you want to watch a better movie concerning the Arthurian Legend, watch, "First Knight" with Richard Gere. I thought that one was a lot better. You might want to also check out the TV movie, "Merlin." Neither one of these films were 100% accurate to any text concerning the Legend but they were a lot better than the new one.

Also, if you're into history movies around the time of King Arthur, check out the TV movie, "Attila the Hun". It came out about 4 years ago. It was REALLY good. It was excellent, actually. A lot better than the new King Arthur movie. I remember I was in England when that movie came out and one guy over there told me how much he thought it sucked, too. lol

Merlin is actually one of my favorites...its just an all around good story. I love the whole conflict between paganism and christianity and how they played that up.
 

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jallman said:
The Passion of the Christ--tried so hard to maintain the appearance of spirituality that it undermined every mystery of faith it miserably attempted to relate. It has to be the only movie in the history of cinema that had no redeeming quality whatsoever.
The movie itself sucked. HOWEVER, the soundtrack by Peter Gabriel "Passions" kicked major butt. It was enjoyed with a couple bowls in college.
 

George_Washington

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jallman said:
Merlin is actually one of my favorites...its just an all around good story. I love the whole conflict between paganism and christianity and how they played that up.

Same here. My favorite part was at the end when Merlin was reunited with what's her name and then he was like, "That's it. No more magic."

Actually, according to Geoffrey of Monmouth's version of the Arthurian Legend, it didn't end anything like the TV show. Merlin was locked away in a tower, FOREVER, and he never got out! Makes you think, doesn't it. ;)
 

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:toilet:...Titanic....:sick:...:2sick1:
 

jallman

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George_Washington said:
Same here. My favorite part was at the end when Merlin was reunited with what's her name and then he was like, "That's it. No more magic."

Actually, according to Geoffrey of Monmouth's version of the Arthurian Legend, it didn't end anything like the TV show. Merlin was locked away in a tower, FOREVER, and he never got out! Makes you think, doesn't it. ;)

But it was kind of expected...looking at other endings of the legend where Merlin/Myrdhynn ended up captive of the crystal cave with morganna...

Merlin was such a dynamic character throughout the Arthurian legends...especially the Welsh legends. He was a true magician of the old ways while still having a foot planted in the Christian camp. What is most interesting when looking at the range of interpretations of his personal rivalries is that he always maintained his loyalty to the Pendragon lineage while still serving his own interests. This is an archetype which translates down to even our own modern fantasy literature like the DragonLance tales of Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman.

The Arthurian legends themselve are archetypal in their presentation...primal in their assertions. The hero...not of any politcally accepted lineage, but found later to have an almost divine claim to a throne...raised by the least but yet the most virtuous of the land (and of course I pull that from the Epic of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight). With a female evil to trouble him ( a half sister of equally mystical origins), and a taboo ritual of familial procreation (need I invoke Oedipus and Electra) in creating the vessel of his destruction with Mordrid. Arthur breeds heroic strength into his own son, but by his denial of sin, he unleashes a corrupted monster, just like his father Uther in seducing Igraine, the wife of Duke Cornwall. Arthur's own sins and the sins of his father come back to unravel his invincibility...how much more epic can you get?

So...maybe I am a little rabid when I wont accept a watered down version of that particular legend. But, that aside, Arthur still did suck as a movie. :mrgreen:

If you want something closer to the tales of Arthur...one only has to look at the cantos of the Fairy Queen to see the dynamic effect and the intensity of the Arthurian legend...Spencer tried, through epic poetry, to marry off Elizabeth to King Arthur. Though, I have to say, one more canto of that travesty of art and I would have thrown myself out a window. LOL
 

cherokee

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Jarhead.........
 

jallman

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cherokee said:
Jarhead.........

Well, I had a little more to keep me interested than the plot, so maybe I cant say it was so bad. :rofl
 
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V for Vendetta... Saw I.

Hostel.
 
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jallman said:
Well, I had a little more to keep me interested than the plot, so maybe I cant say it was so bad. :rofl


Jallman, the way Marines have to live when deployed, you would absolutely love to be one of those "Don't ask, don't tell" kind of guys for a month.

It would be like Me and 'Cherokee' hanging out in the girl's locker room and shower and nobody noticing.
 

jallman

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GySgt said:
Jallman, the way Marines have to live when deployed, you would absolutely love to be one of those "Don't ask, don't tell" kind of guys for a month.

It would be like Me and 'Cherokee' hanging out in the girl's locker room and shower and nobody noticing.

hey now...think about it from my perspective. I would probably be a bit uncomfortable in that real situation. I would not want to feel like a skulking peeping tom so I would have the decency to avoid such intensive and arousing situations. Eyes down in the shower, think of Margaret Thatcher naked on the beach...thats how I got through after-soccer-practice showers without being a total skank, anyway.
 

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jallman said:
hey now...think about it from my perspective. I would probably be a bit uncomfortable in that real situation. I would not want to feel like a skulking peeping tom so I would have the decency to avoid such intensive and arousing situations. Eyes down in the shower, think of Margaret Thatcher naked on the beach...thats how I got through after-soccer-practice showers without being a total skank, anyway.


SEE!?!?

That's what I'm talking about. You gay guys have such an incredible gift. The same goes for gay women. It's us heteros that have to resort to peeping and being arrested.
 

jallman

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GySgt said:
SEE!?!?

That's what I'm talking about. You gay guys have such an incredible gift. The same goes for gay women. It's us heteros that have to resort to peeping and being arrested.

but its really not a gift, man. You know that feeling you get when a girl is checking you out...and you have that one moment of doubt when you suck your gut in just a little tighter? Imagine having that same doubt in a shower full of naked chicks and the added pressure of actively avoiding checking them out.
 
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jallman said:
but its really not a gift, man. You know that feeling you get when a girl is checking you out...and you have that one moment of doubt when you suck your gut in just a little tighter? Imagine having that same doubt in a shower full of naked chicks and the added pressure of actively avoiding checking them out.

Frustrating, but you still get an eye full. It would be easier for women, because there is no obvious physical feature that would change.
 

jallman

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GySgt said:
Frustrating, but you still get an eye full. It would be easier for women, because there is no obvious physical feature that would change.

very true...thats when picturing margaret thatcher naked comes in handy. :mrgreen:
 
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