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Most annoying corporate expression for you?

SDET

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The one that annoys me the most is "perception is reality". If perception is reality, shouldn't Bernie Madoff be released? After all, his "investors" perceived that they were making money.

A close second is: "If you can't measure it, you can't manage it". Hey genius, if I have to be constantly entering metrics into your management system, how is any work going to get done?
 

Lord Tammerlain

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The one that annoys me the most is "perception is reality". If perception is reality, shouldn't Bernie Madoff be released? After all, his "investors" perceived that they were making money.

A close second is: "If you can't measure it, you can't manage it". Hey genius, if I have to be constantly entering metrics into your management system, how is any work going to get done?

Play to Win

Adding Excellence to every section (like Supply Chain Excellence)

Corporate values and mission statements that have no bearing on how the company is run or the employees are treated
 

Lutherf

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"Your coffee break is over".

"We're out of coffee" is a close second.
 

SocialD

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The one that annoys me the most is "perception is reality". If perception is reality, shouldn't Bernie Madoff be released? After all, his "investors" perceived that they were making money.

A close second is: "If you can't measure it, you can't manage it". Hey genius, if I have to be constantly entering metrics into your management system, how is any work going to get done?

I hate hearing 'you have to go through the chain of command' I guess that's also a military thing. my response would be well if you were doing your job I wouldn't have had to go around you on this.
 

Helix

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pretty much most corporate speak. i'm all for delivering a high quality product to the client / customers, but the mannequinesque, once-removed from actually saying what you mean language that we use to communicate with each other can be a little irritating.

**** it, though. i have a job, i'm going to do my best to do it well, and if that's the culture, that's the culture. it's not the first time that i've found peopling to be annoying, and i doubt that it will be the last.
 

KevinKohler

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How are you bringing value?

Any list of "company values" that are absolute blatant lies....

Manage down, not up.
 

Deuce

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"safety culture."

Invariably followed by "your safer choice cost more money!!!"
 

RAMOSS

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"down sizing".. followed by 'You will know in two weeks'
 

poweRob

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Know about expression but how about really annoying corporate scripted interview questions?

Tell us a weakness you have.

What would you do if you saw a fellow employee steal something?

How would you handle a conflict with another employee in the work place?​

All over-generalized questions that tell the questioner pretty much nothing of who they are questioning.
 

justabubba

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the company's most valuable asset is our human capital



wonder if southern plantation owners used this same expression
 

nota bene

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Any slogan with a "Q" in it.
 

humbolt

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"You deserve a brick today." Er, break. A break today.
 

RAMOSS

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Of course (as what happened today), 'The resource action is happening today' which thankfully is followed by 'This is to inform you that you are not affected' .
 

SDET

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pretty much most corporate speak. i'm all for delivering a high quality product to the client / customers, but the mannequinesque, once-removed from actually saying what you mean language that we use to communicate with each other can be a little irritating.

**** it, though. i have a job, i'm going to do my best to do it well, and if that's the culture, that's the culture. it's not the first time that i've found peopling to be annoying, and i doubt that it will be the last.

I actually like the expression "push back"; it's my politically correct way of saying that if you want me to put in overtime, you can go pound sand.
 

radcen

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"Inverted pyramid".

Yeah, let me overrule company policy and make my own decisions and see how far that goes.
 

JANFU

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We are streamlining...... translation- get that resume up to date
We are realigning - translation- see above
 

RAMOSS

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We are streamlining...... translation- get that resume up to date
We are realigning - translation- see above

Also 'Down sizing', "Right Sizing'.. and pretty much any variation with the word "Sizing" in it.

And.. 'Metrics'.
 
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