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Monty Python quotes - add your own (1 Viewer)


Benevolent Dictator
DP Veteran
May 19, 2004
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Political Leaning
Libertarian - Right
"Is your wife a goer? *wink* *wink* Nudge nudge say no more!"
That parrot is no more, He has ceased to be!

You should give all of us (nuns) a good bonking.
"I would like to see...

...full frontal nudity!...
NObody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
"For 16 days and nights did Victor withstand these maidens, but on the 16th day he cried out : This is fantasic. O, this is terrific!
And the lord did hear the cries of Victor and verily came he down and slew the maidens. (snip)
And victor, in his anguish, did cry out the the lord was a rotten bastard. And the lord did send an angel to comfort victor for the weekend. Entered they together in a jacuzzi. Here endith the lesson."
I fart in your general direction.
It's just a flesh wound.

Go and boil your bottoms you sons of silly persons.
Love Monty Python......
From the Upperclass Twit of the Year Contest:

and now he's going to shoot the rabbit, and these rabbits have been tied to the ground, and they're going to be a bit frisky, and this is only a one-day event. And they're blazing away there. They're not getting quite the results that they might, Gervaise is in there trying to bash it to death with the butt of his rifle, and I think Nigel's in there with his bare hands, but they're not getting the results that they might, but it is a little bit misty today and they must be shooting from a range of at least one foot. But they've had a couple of hits there I think, yes, they've had a couple of hits, and the whole field is up again and here they are.
Not really Monty Python, from The Missionary starring Michael Palin (funny, funny movie):

Most o' my boys just want company... a bit o' cheerin' up. I'm like a mother to 'em! Only they can't **** their mothers so they come 'ere.
The whole Black Knight sketch is my favourite, but apart from that...

Peasant: She turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedivere: A Newt?
Peasant: Well... I got better.
Mark O'Neill said:
Peasant: She turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedivere: A Newt?
Peasant: Well... I got better.

OMG, that is one of the best!

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries."
"I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named Biggus Dickus."
Every sperm is sacred

Great song!!
Naughty Nurse said:
Every sperm is sacred

Great song!!

Even more grand -

"Sit on my face." -Contratual Obligation albumn
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK .......

Kills me every time!!
Don't remember any quotes of note, but what the heck?...

Hell's Grandmas...:2wave:
And who could forget that lovely insanely romantic : Medical Song

(sorry left out the big words - can't spell em)

"Inflammation of the foreskin reminds me of your smile
I've had ballanital shancroids for quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling, and I hope you'll get well soon

My penile warts your herpes, my syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infetion, how I miss you more and more
Your dobie's itch my scrumpox, our lovely gonorrhoea
At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear

Our syphilic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist
Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus when you spirochaetes met mine

My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee
My doctor says my buboes are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotum's painted orange and my balls are turning green

My heart is very tender though the parts are awful raw
You might have been infected but you never were a bore
I'm dying from your love, my love, I'm your spirochaetal clown
I've left my body to science but I'm afraid they've turned it down"
My favorite line from any of their movies and shows is:

'elp! 'elp! I'm bein repressed!

Every time I hear that I start laughing.
and now...a man playing a tape recorder with his nose...
vauge said:
"Is your wife a goer? *wink* *wink* Nudge nudge say no more!"

Monty Python, now why didn't I think of that?

Little rule question here about linking. The following link used to be to the basement, but now it's to the archives. Let's split some hairs.


There ya go...just doing my job vague.

"Nyum nyum nyum nyea puckity, rum (roll the "r" here folks) ting nyou. Neat neat neat, ya-ooooooh."

Made that one my sig for a while.

I'm so gonna get banned...

And the moral of the story is...

Smoking is bad for your health.

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